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Devoted to Archers listeners, this is where we show off their multiple talents!



	Archers parodies in the style of:
		Jennifer's Palace by Sixtus_Beckmesser "They're changing times at Jennifer's Palace Christopher Carter got hitched to Alice..."
		Alice, The Maid of Ambridge by Hot Cross Nun "Down by the river Am with its fast-flowing water, Oft times Alice Aldridge met her own dear Christopher Carter..."
		Mattbeth and the Crones by typewright "Three strange-looking figures are stirring a blackened pot over a camping stove dangerously close to a tent..."
		The People's Shop by Vicky S "The People's Shop is painted red, (We found a tin in Robert's shed)"
		The Three Brummie Butchers by Mathos-le-Rhymer "It's of three brummie butchers as I've heard many say They were meeting with some Ambridge woman their money for to pay ... "
		A Proper Solution by JustJennyDarling "The Queen was sat down in her palace And dreading receiving a call She was really fed up with politics And wanted an end to it all."
		A History of Ambridge in 100 Objects by Minihohum "Nelson Gabriel's smoking jacket dates from around 1972 ..."
		A Whine from the Poo Farm or Now we are Sick by Vicky S "We're marketing stuff at Ambridge Organic, There's plenty for all so please do not panic"
		Snowy's List by Mr Snowy "He's got 'em on his list - they're all on Snowy's list And they'll none of 'em be missed - they'll none of 'em be missed."
		Who killed the shop? by Mr Snowy "Who killed the shop? "I," replied Peg."
		Dangerous Knowledge by Anglo-Norman "the villagers stopped what they were doing, rushing outside or looking around wildly, shocked, confused, chattering excitedly."
		The Young-ish Visiters by screamname "I will bring Isabelle Wofford-Monticue commonly called Izzy. She is very active and pretty, espeshually doing her dance routines."
		Hymns Camping and Modern by various "And did those Franks in Summer time Camp upon Devon's pastures green ..."
		Mrs Tucker is received at Hartfield by PhyllisDoris "Emma had feelings, less of curiosity than of pride or propriety, to make her resolve on not being the last to pay her respects ..."
		Ambridge Nativity Play by RosieT "Helen! Helen! Stop trying to drag Jazzer off the stage, please ..."
		I Watched Thee by Nelson G "I watched thee after Betty's eulogy Wine was drunk and thou didst begin to cry ..."
		A milkman would a-wooing go by typewright "They had a good look, and then Vicky cried "Stop!" With a blingy ring, a dress and a teddy ..."
		The Village Plinth by jjo2 Watch a listener's video tribute to Tom Forrest.
		Roses in the Bowl by Nelson G "Now some men like the telly and some men like the drinking And some men like to hear the Thin Lizzy a-roaring ..."
		What a piece of work is Matt "How lacking in reason! how infinite in follies ..."
		You Can Get A Man ... by Mr Snowy "I might not be the brightest but my sweaters are the tightest ..."
		The Village Inn by Mr Snowy "The village pub, the dear old pub Where Freda Fry knocks out the grub The heart of all our Ambridge ways ..."
		Walk on the wild side by Bear in the Bull "They said, hey Gran, take a walk on the wild side I said, hey Peg, take a walk on the wild side ..."
		Wordsworth's Sausages by Nelson G "I wandered lonely as a pig ..."
		Borsetshire Brian by Mr Snowy "I'm Borsetshire Brian and I'm not denying My marriage vows I often scorn..."
		Mr Lloyd by RosieT "The Chief Defect of Mr Lloyd Was trying to help the unemployed ..."
		What Shall We Do with the Ambridge Phone Box by THEJennyDarling "O beautiful and well revered, formerly useful red box from the old GPO ..."
		The Ambridge Green Preservation Society by scotty "We are the Ambridge Green Preservation Society. God save a pint of Shire's, Joe's Cider - not sobriety..."
		The Little Yellow God by Farmer's Lung "There's a one-eyed yellow idol on the shelf next to the loo, The Churchwarden's rather cross with angry frown ..."
		Reciprocity by Rosie T "The bees are buzzing on Lakey Hill To make some honey just for Jill ..."
		The lost art of Horrobinning by various "When I was born a Grundy in famous Borsetshire I was the finest poacher for nigh on twenty year"
		The Ryan by EL-STIG "Once inside a cottage dreary, sat a vet so weak and weary"
		Al's a Loser by Vicky S "Now I've heard there is a message board Where many post but few are bored"
		Christmas Day in Grey Gables by Rosie T "It is Christmas Day in Grey Gables, and the tapestried walls are bright With garlands of green and holly, and the place is a pleasant sight"
		Tommy Archer by Mr Snowy "I went into the Dragon's Den armed with a business plan And Brian Aldridge said to me "You are my sort of man. "
		Freda's Steak-and-kidney Pie by Mr Snowy "A long, long time ago... I can still remember How the music used to make my day Each time that I'd hear Barwick Green I'd turn and leave the TV screen And then I'd let the words whisk me away."
		Sixty Going on Seventy by Doctor_Darling "I am sixty going on seventy And I've still got the goods!"
		Sausage Man by Piers Plowright "He's a real Sausage Man Living in his Sausage Land"
		She Was Pert and She Was Wilful by duzzents "She was pert and she was wilful,/Many pretty ways she had./So she loved 'em and she left 'em,/So they're brothers, that's too bad."
		The Cowman Cometh by RosieT "'Twas on a Monday morning the cowman came to call. The Guernseys seemed so ill - I wasn't getting milk at all ..."
		The Shrivener's Tale by Piers Plowman "I shall tell a tale of virtue rewarded and base treachery deceived ..."
		Forty Years On by RosieT "Forty years on, when afar and asunder Parted are those who are partying today..."
		The Little Foundling: A Fairy Tale of Ambridge by mommahog "Once upon a time there was a beautiful Princess ..."
		Poisoning Raptors on the Shoot by The Vintner's Driver "You don't need to be a wizard To wish to terminate a buzzard ..."
		Local Woman Finds Marbles by Old Lag "she suddenly realized her marbles were back in her noddle ..."
		Profits by Vicarshusband ""It's really not my problem" sighed Brian, settling down in the new Jaguar."
		Definitely not Delia by duzzents "Bert: 'Tis Cornish Heavy Cake I'm making."
		Wuthering Eyre by various hands "Dark clouds scudded across the gibbous moon, and the bare branches of the elms lining the long drive to Aldridge Manor bent and whipped in the bitter wind."
		The Cuckoo's in the Nest by Mr Snowy "Brine is the daddy-o The cuckoo's in the nest..."
		Old Jimmy's Game by Mr Snowy "You know, there's been a terrible mistake ...", said Jim Lloyd.
		Lily's News by Vicky S "Did you know that if you eat strawberry icecream you will have pink sick ..."
		Ambridge Valley PTA by Loda Bullox "I wanna tell you all a story 'bout an Ambridge publican's ex-wife, She had a young son Jamie who attended Ambridge Village Junior High ..."
听听听More Parodies from Ambridge






	Archers Fantasies Go to our new Fantasy page and read some fantastic flights of fancy. Our readers' fantasies include: "The Great Pargetters" and "The Witches of Ambridge



	Archers parodies in the style of:

		The Lower Loxley Handbook by Vicky S and lantana2 "... On the floor is a Henry vacuum cleaner, which has been authenticated by Sotheby's as being a pre 1995 Argos model ..."
		These Foolish Things by Piers Plowman "...You came, you slurped, you conquered me! When you did that to me, I felt the breath of Hungary ..."

		Twelve Days of Ambridge by Various talents "...On the third day of Christmas, My true love gave to me: Three Dodgy deals, Two pints of Shires, And a cartridge in a Purdey ..."

		The Mistress by Snowy "...The Doctor: A problem? Could be. I'm picking up signals about the Mistress ..."

		The Farm at 麻豆约拍 Corner by Piers Plowman "...Would you like some honey for your toast, darling? ..."

		Dangerous Liaisons by Becky Edwards "...Caroline, my sweet, what a pleasant surprise. I was just watching a shrew in the grain store, and thinking of you ..."

		Little Brother by Chris Hanson "...Sonja's voice faltered as Helen Archer came over, beaming at her - or was she? There was something hysterical in her voice as she said, "What were you just saying to Chris..."

		Life at Brookfield by Mr Snowy "... My name is Sam Batton. I had an accident and I woke up in 2004. Am I mad, in a coma or back in time? ..."
		The Lower Loxley Handbook - Part 2 by various "... If you look to your left you will see the tools of the bodger's trade ..."
		A Midsummer Nightmare by Deborah Z "... As dawn began peeping on the horizon, Helen tumbled over William, waking him up. The subsequent screams as William tried to press his suit with her ..."

		Vodka with Carly by Mathos-le-rhymer. "... She grinned up at him with the sly, blackened teeth of her mother. She wore her tartan mini-skirt, school blazer, cheap leather pet collar and her bare legs were brown with fake tan ..."

		The Battle Hymn of Ambridge Cricket by Mr Snowy "... Glory, glory, good old Ambridge As our team goes marching on ..."

		The Vet Man Cometh by the_vintners_driver "... 'Twas on the Monday morning, The vet man came to call ..."

		Lucky by Katy Bollen (Inspired by a D H Lawrence short story) "... Puzzled, Adam drew closer, wondering who could be there with him. They were deep into the woods now, where hardly anyone ever came ..."

		B Life! by Vicky S and Sovietsong "... B Life! will be there to entertain, guide and inform you about everything that is buzzing in Borsetshire ...";
		The Longhorn and Ruairi by Mustafa Grumble "There's a famous big house, Lower Loxley, that's noted for fresh air and fun, And Mr and Mrs Brian Archer went there with young Ruairi, 'is son ..."
		Harry Potter and the Mustardpot of Doom by lantana2 "... 'A most charming place', said Dumbledore, politely. 'Have you worked at The Laurels long, Mrs Tucker?' ..."
		The Lower Loxley Handbook by Vicky S and lantana2 "... On the floor is a Henry vacuum cleaner, which has been authenticated by Sotheby's as being a pre 1995 Argos model ..."
		Harry Potter and the Worm of Ambridge, Part 1 by lantana2 "Marjorie Antrobus nodded, and handed Snape a battered address book and a piece of paper."
		Harry Potter and the Worm of Ambridge, Part 2 by lantana2 "Snape dived for the knife and placed it on the table top. Ruairi threw himself onto the tiles and started to scream."
		Harry Potter and the Worm of Ambridge, Part 3 by lantana2 "Tis the curse of the Wyrm, Bert Fry", said Grundy, happily."
		Harry Potter and the Worm of Ambridge, Part 4 (finale) by lantana2 " Snape picked up the unconscious Bellatrix and hid her unceremoniously in a clump of rhododendrons."
		Blaize Montpelier by Vicky S "Blaize Montpelier, casually dressed in a deceptively simple Versace shift ..."
		Punch and Judy by Piers Plowman "ALICE: Oh, how I'd love to wring your neck! [Aside] (But when you're gone I'll take the cheque)."
		The Midweek Ambridge Omnibus by Slightly-Foxed "JOLENE: Oh, look. There's Sid. Coming out the gents with a strange man."
听听More Parodies from Ambridge




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