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What a piece of work is Matt
 There's been a minor Shakespearian outbreak on the Fantasy Archers topic of .
Typewright rethinks one of Hamlet's best known speeches:
ENTER A GAUNT, TIRED LILIAN, HOLDING G&T, FAG AND SKULL
LILIAN: I have of late - but wherefore I know not - lost all my girth, without doing any exercises; and indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly village, Ambridge, seems to me a sterile poo lagoon; this most excellent therapy gin and fags, look you two, this brave o'erflowing glass, this majestical ciggie tipped with golden fire - why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is Matt! How lacking in reason! how infinite in follies! in fraud and cheating, how express and admirable! in action how like an bulldozer! On the motorway, how like a Clarkson! the hog of the road! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quince jelly of dust?
And Nelson G provides this version of :
Shall I compare thee to a Bridge Farm sow
Thou art more lovely and more productive
Vets' bills do shake the cost of pig and cow
and Jazza's help's not always constructive
Sometimes too when the leccy's been left off
and Mrs Noakes's flowers are eaten
It's all I can do just to fill the trough
Pigs have betrayed me, I fear I'm beaten
But thy eternal meekness shall not fade
nor gain possession of that backbone thou lack
and nor shall thy round-the-world trip be made
furthest thou'll go is Borchester and back
So long as Tom can breathe, then I forsee
So long lives he, then this gives life to thee.
More parodies - from Agatha Christie to Damon Runyon
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