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Sausage Man
by Piers Plowright
 A Beatles-inspired, if rather cynical, view of Tom's business acumen, from the Fantasy Archers topic of .
He's a real Sausage Man
Living in his Sausage Land,
Making all his sausage plans
For nobody.
Doesn't have a business plan,
Borrowed money from his gran,
Sausages filled up with bran
For nobody.
Sausage Man, insolvent,
Without Brian's involvement,
Your business would slip
Into receivership!
Sausage Man, we've got you sussed,
Sausage dreams have turned to dust.
If John could know that you've gone bust;
Some Sausage Man.
Does no good to plead and coax,
Brenda's gone off Sausage Blokes,
In Matt's jacuzzi now she soaks,
Sans Sausage Man.
He's as smug as he can be,
Kirstie Miller would agree,
When will Ambridge e'er be free
Of Sausage Man?
Of Sausage Man?
Of Sausage Man?
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