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Parodies |
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The Cowman Cometh
by RosieT
 Flanders and Swann offer a rich field for parody, and here's a good one from the Fantasy Archers topic of .
'Twas on a Monday morning the cowman came to call.
The Guernseys seemed so ill - I wasn't getting milk at all.
He fiddled with the milking bale, to try to find the pain
And I had to call a vet in, to put things back again.
Oh, it all makes work for the Ambridge folk to do.
'Twas on a Tuesday morning the vetin'ry came round.
He thought, and hummed, and hawed, and he said: "Look what I've found:
Your cows are full of TB, but I'll soon have them all right."
Then he kicked the buckets over, and caused a flood of mites.
Oh, it all makes work for the Ambridge folk to do.
'Twas on a Wednesday morning the Ministry men came.
They tutted and they frowned, and they said, "Oh, what a shame!
The badger lick has caused the probs. Now, payment: fifty, please!"
So I really had no option: I set on them, Jill's bees.
Oh, it all makes work for the Ambridge folk to do.
'Twas on a Thursday morning, Jill the apiarist came along,
With her veil, and smock, and leather gloves, and merry apiarist song.
She put the Ministry men out of pain - it seemed she'd used some gas.
But I had to get a contractor in to come and cut the grass.
Oh, it all makes work for the Ambridge folk to do.
'Twas on a Friday morning that Adam made a start.
With combine and with tractor, he'd a moan for every part:
Every nook and every cranny - but I found when he was gone
He'd done something to the milking bale - I couldn't turn it on!
Oh, it all makes work for the Ambridge folk to do.
On Saturday and Sunday they do no work at all;
So 'twas on a Monday morning that the cowman came to
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