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The Farm at Â鶹ԼÅÄ Corner
by Piers Plowman
 This amusing A A Milne parody comes from the Fantasy Archers topic of
'Oh, there you are Adam!' chirped Jenny merrily, 'where have you been all morning?'
'On The Farm, of course' replied Adam, coming into the kitchen.
'Yes, I know, but _where_ on The Farm?' Jenny insisted.
'In the coldest, dampest, most miserable part, where no one else wants to go. Where else?' said Adam dismally, slumping into a chair.
Jenny ignored him and turned to Alice, who was stuffing a large slice of buttered toast into her mouth in such a way that rather _more_ butter was left on her face than managed to find its way into her mouth.
'Would you like some honey for your toast, darling?' asked Jenny in a Concerned Sort of Voice.
'Mmmmnh, mmmmnh, unnnnggh' replied Alice, wiping her mouth with her sleeve.
'What did you say, darling?' asked Jenny, 'I didn't quite understand.'
Alice swallowed hurriedly and said 'I said, "Yes, please, that would be lovely"'.
'Oh,' said Jenny, 'I'm afraid it sounded rather different.'
'Yes, it might have done,' replied Alice humbly, looking down at her plate.
Jenny placed a honey pot onto the table, and Alice proceeded to spoon out large dollops onto a fresh slice of hot buttered toast.
Just then Brian walked in, with the London Times under his arm.
'My, you have been busy this morning,' said Jenny, brightly. 'Have you got much done?'
'I've very nearly finished the crossword, see?' Brian showed Jenny the puzzle he'd been working. Most of the squares had been filled in with X's or O's, but a few had been left blank.
'That's nice,' said Jenny in an absent sort of way, 'There's tea in the pot. Shall I dish out for you?'
'I'd rather like something to eat, too,' said Adam, looking straight up into the air. 'When Everyone Else is Through, of course. If there's Something Leftover No One Else Wants. Something cold or burnt, perhaps, if you take my meaning.'
'Don't be silly, darling' replied Jenny. 'Would you like a sausage? They're TOM ARCHER SAUSAGES.'
'They would be' replied Adam gloomily.
'Kate will be here soon, I expect' remarked Jenny, after overturning the sausages, which were looking as though they had rather lie on their other sides now, if it was All The Same to Her.
'Kate?' asked Brian in an alarmed sort of voice, and his eyes darted to the door, as if he wanted to make sure it was still where he had left it moments before.
'Yes, Kate and Nolly. Why what's the matter?'
Brian stood up suddenly, 'I, er, I've just suddenly remembered something I should have done yesterday, but I've only just remembered now. Bye!' And before anyone could think of anything to say, he dashed off, upsetting his tea into Adam's lap.
'Of course, it would land there' said Adam, staring dejectedly at the puddle of scalding tea in his lap. 'I suppose it's only right that it should.'
More parodies - from Agatha Christie to Damon Runyon
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