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She Was Pert and She Was Wilful
by duzzents
 The Ed, Emma and Will story has inspired an outpouring of parodies on the Fantasy Archers topic of . Here's just one, effectively a verse version of the .
She was pert and she was wilful,
Many pretty ways she had.
So she loved 'em and she left 'em,
So they're brothers, that's too bad.
Chorus
It's the same the whole world over
Let the others take the blame.
We've done naught to be ashamed of,
They'll just have to play our game.
First she met Ed and she liked him,
Made her giggle and have fun.
He's the one that brought excitement
Rather than the other one.
Then Will liked her and she liked him
And her parents liked him too.
As for Ed, well "He's a waster!"
Was their common cry and coo.
So one drastic eve Ed found her
Said they'd have some fun that night.
Pinched Will's car to take her homeward
And they crashed - oh what a fright.
She's bad injured - but he saves her.
At once the black knight and the white.
But her parents sorely hate him,
Say he never does things right.
Suddenly she's no career girl
Of exams she's had her fill.
All she wants now is a husband
And she sets her heart on Will.
On the hen night, she gets squiffy,
Told to have one last swan song.
Ends up sleeping with the other
Who has loved her all along.
He's so shocked to find the wedding's
Going on just as it's planned.
That he leaves before his heart breaks
She weds Will and they're all damned.
So a son she then produces
Little Georgie; she trapped is.
Ed is back, and then he's leaving.
So she says the boy is his.
So it goes, and so it goes on,
A divorce and squalid van
Then she flees the bad conditions,
And Ed sinks far as he can.
So it comes about full later
When her eyes are full of stars.
She thinks it's time she called her Ed back.
A second chance is on the cards.
So they'll go about their business.
Let the others cry the tears.
What's it matter to this couple
'Cos "We lurve each other, dears."
"We are meant to be together",
And such whey and likewise curds.
Spare me such another phrasing
I am really lost for words.
(Based on "She Was Poor But She Was Honest", by Weston and Lee)
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