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Borsetshire Brian
by Mr Snowy
 This risqué parody of the old music hall song "Burlington Bertie" was posted on The Fantasy Archers topic of .
I'm Borsetshire Brian and I'm not denying
My marriage vows I often scorn
Both Caro and Mandy found me rather handy
And what need I say 'bout Siobhan
My style was pure hauteur, it wowed Trudy Porter
There's even a rumour I fancied one daughter
I'm Brine, Brine, some say I'm a swine
But I treasured the lovers I had
The lies I told Jenny were ten to a penny
I'm Borsetshire Brian the cad
I'm Borchester Brian, I keep a close eye on
My family. I will not succumb
To their schemes and plotting; no I've not forgotten
I must keep them under my thumb
They're such silly billies, my intention still is
That I won't reveal what the gist of my will is
I'm Brine, Brine, Â鶹ԼÅÄ Farm it is mine
I'll choose who'll inherit my pad
And when all's said and done it will go to the son
Of Borsetshire Brian the cad
I'm Borsetshire Brian, I cannot rely on
A partner I saved from the mire
I gave him a hand, yes I rescued his brand
His attitude now's simply dire
My word, he can bore on as if there's a war on
I've come round to thinking that he is a moron
I'm Brine, Brine, I'm drawing the line
So put up or shut up, my lad
Forget the defrauder, you're still under orders
From Borsetshire Brian the cad
I'm Borsetshire Brian, as strong as a lion
The next generation I've viewed
There's Fallon, there's Brenda - I'd like to befriend her
With notches on bedposts renewed
I'm Lord of the Manor, ten quid to a tanner
That I'll be the first one to make it with Hannah
I'm Brine, Brine, matured like good wine
You don't ask the age of a Strad
But still I won't mention I'm drawing the pension
I'm Borsetshire Brian the cad
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