 |  |
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
Parodies |
 |
|
|
|
 |
|
Mrs Tucker is received at Hartfield
By PhyllisDoris
 Jane Austen would make much of the doings in Ambridge, as this contribution to the Fantasy Archers topic of .
Mrs Tucker was first seen in the village shop: but though the making of purchases might be interrupted, curiosity could not be satisfied by observing the new bride receiving her change, and it must be left for the visits in form which were then to be paid, to settle whether or not she would be an embellishment to Ambridge society.
Emma had feelings, less of curiosity than of pride or propriety, to make her resolve on not being the last to pay her respects, and made her way to Willow Cottage as soon as possible. As Mrs Tucker happened to be about to set off for the hairdressers, the visit was of course short, so that Emma could not allow herself entirely to form an opinion of the lady, and on no account to give one, beyond that she was "elegantly dressed, and very pleasing".
She did not really like her. She would not be in a hurry to find fault, but she suspected that there was no elegance; - ease, but not elegance. She was almost sure that for a woman who had remained single until the age of forty-four, a stranger, there was too much ease, and far too much made of the helplessness of men in the accomplishment of domestic skills. Her person was rather good - it was apparent why so many men of Emma's acquaintance had spoken of her with approval - her face not unpretty; but neither feature, nor air, nor voice, nor manner were elegant. Emma thought at least it would turn out so.
When the visit was returned, Emma made up her mind. She could then see more and judge better. She had a quarter of an hour of the lady's conversation to herself, and could composedly attend to her; and the quarter of an hour quite convinced her that Mrs Tucker was a vain, selfish woman; extremely well-satisfied with herself, and thinking much of her own importance within her "ready-made family"; that she meant to shine, and be loved by every body, but with manners which had been formed in a bad school, pert and familiar: that all her notions were drawn from reading popular literature, and women's magazines, that if not ill-intentioned she was ignorant, and that her society would certainly do Mr Tucker no good.
The first subject after being seated was the draperies at Hartfield. "I assure you, with a such a charming view, it should really be framed properly, with swags and tails!" Mrs Tucker knew exactly the right person to make up the proposed new curtains, and promised to assist Emma in choosing the most becoming fabrics. "I am sure you will like them, they look very well at Willow Cottage. It is really beginning to feel like home (with a little sigh of sentiment) now that I have my teddies and my Lladro - I fancy I have a fine collection of Lladro - about the place. Every body who sees it is struck by how much altered it is since my arrival. Indeed, every body tells me that I have brought about great changes in Mr T. himself! "
Emma made as slight a reply as she could; but it was fully sufficient for Mrs Tucker, who only wanted to be talking of herself.
"It is a great pity that you were not able to attend my wedding, but we were not lacking for persons of quality you know. Why, the Sterlings were there, and I must do Mr T. the justice to say that he need not be ashamed of his friend. Sterling is quite the gentleman. I like him very much, and he and his charming wife gave us such a delightfully valuable wedding present, a cappuccino maker, and beautifully gift-wrapped. My new step-daughter Brenda, though I look on her as more of a sister, her being only fifteen years the younger; read out the most enchanting poem, Shakespeare you know. She is such an accomplished young lady; I am extremely partial to her, and of course you must know that she has letters after her name now! We all went to the graduation ceremony, all of the family, though it was a pity that Roy was not able to sit with us, I am sure that he should have liked to. I absolutely had to have a new hat for the occasion; though I had never attended such a ceremony before, I'm sure I know what is proper. The Dean was quite a favourite with me, and remarked that I must be so proud of my daughter!"
"But did you not explain to him -?" began Emma, "Well," said Mrs Tucker, with a most satisfied smile, "He must have observed how close we are, the error was entirely natural; I fancy it would have been quite ill-mannered in me to have corrected him!"
While Emma restrained herself from any reproofs she might have given, Mrs Tucker had chosen another subject. "Miss Woodhouse, I must insist that you permit me to recommend my dentist - I fancy you and your father are not attended by my dentist in Felpersham? I really cannot speak of him too highly - why I am certain he is the best dentist in all of Borsetshire!"
Emma doubted the truth of this, but merely replied, "My father and I have always been perfectly satisfied with Mr Perry; I can think of no reason why we should wish to desert him."
"Ah! that's a great pity; for I assure you, Miss Woodhouse, my dentist has such wonderful treatments to offer; I have no doubt of them doing Mr Woodhouse good."
"Mr Perry has attended our family for many years, and has never given us the slightest cause to doubt the efficacy of any treatment that he has recommended."
"Ah! but I fancy your dear father suffers greatly with his teeth, does he not? I am sure I have heard that the poor man can eat nothing but gruel!"
Emma was silenced.
<<Back
|
|
 | |  |
|
|
|
 |
|
