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These Foolish Things
by Piers Plowman
 Some key moments in recent Archers history are remembered through the medium of a popular standard, in this contribution to the Fantasy Archers topic of .
Tom Archer sausage on a bed of Mankwold*,
A cheese that's nothing but a rind and rank mould.
My platemeter sings!
These foolish things remind me of you.
Avocados and the way you do 'em,
Just remember not to come late to 'em!
Ian's stiff merengues,
These foolish things remind me of you.
You came, you slurped, you conquered me!
When you did that to me,
I felt the breath of Hungary.
A caravan for three that's cramped and narrow,
Tom Forest searching for his lost prize marrow.
Jazzer's highland flings,
These foolish things remind me of you.
No auburn hair a-clogging up the plug-'ole,
Now Jenny's there when Ruairi wants to snuggle,
While Brian pours stiff drinks,
These foolish things remind me of you.
Since Sharon came, poor Hayley's not so perky.
Tony says to John: "Just take the Fergie."
Fortune's arrows and its slings!
These foolish things remind me of you.
Kathy's lost her fondness for line-dancing,
But in the shower Jolene's form's entrancing!
How her tee-shirt clings!
These foolish things remind me of you.
A freezer full of Grundy breadcrumb stuffing,
A pair of twos, Al takes a chance on bluffing.
Matt Crawford's got four kings.
These foolish things remind me of you.
A racehorse sits around all day a-moping,
A vet who's read Dick Francis on blood doping.
The heartache that it brings!
These foolish things remind me of you.
Pip's recorder being played with feeling.
"The Village Pump" in F with high-pitched squealing.
Every eardrum rings,
These foolish things remind me of you.
A trip to Gozo with a cowman fickle,
Auntie Satya's spicy mango pickle,
Treehouse tickle-ings!
These foolish things remind me of you.
Distressing hooting from inside the cowshed,
The Oxford ringroad and you know where that led.
Smoke from the treehouse stings!
These foolish things remind me of you.
Laura's waiting for the guest that won't come,
For a damp squib's the one and only outcome.
When Sam's mobile rings,
These foolish things remind me of you.
*as Borchester Blue cheese is known on the message board.
More foolish things
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