"I felt like I was at work more than I was at home."
There's never a "right time" to go back to work after you've had a baby.
Steph and Chelsee tell us about their experiences of returning to work and the struggles they faced along the way.
How do they avoid feeling that inevitable mum guilt?
Chelsee:When I went to work after having Coco, honestly my anxiety was through the roof. I felt a lot of mum guilt. I'm sure everyone can relate to that.
Steph:I felt like I was at work more than I was at home.
Chelsee:I went back to work six months after having Coco, but getting back into the swing of things, I'd say it was a whole twelve months. I was always in bits thinking "she's not going to know who I am, I'm not spending enough time with her…" because I worked long hours.
Steph:I felt like I was at work more than I was at home, but obviously as a single parent I had to work. I had to bring the money in. I don't know how I did it. I don't know how all of us mums do it. When they say "superheroes don't wear capes"… very true.
Chelsee:The one thing that really gets me anxious is being able to sort Coco's childcare out. With my work, they can say that I'm wrapping at say seven-thirty, but then we can go over schedule. Every day my head goes, because I think "am I going to go over? Do I now need to ring nursery up? Do I then need to sort someone to go and pick her up?"
Steph:I would be so lost with the people I can just ring and rely on. I've got a great support network in my mum and she helped me a lotw hen I first went back. I felt guilty because I thought this should be her time enjoying life now and you don't think about the effect it even has on the grandparents, their life completely changes. Thank you will never be enough for everything my mum did for me and Caben. I think it is really important to find time for yourself because, for me personally, you know you're either being a mum or you're working. It was really important to have that time to recuperate, to give myself a mental break. do try to utilise my time, when I do have it, to the best I can.
Chelsee:Whenever I do get time with Coco, we just make the most of it. I just love being with her every minute of every day. It just makes it all worthwhile.
Steph:To any mums or dads who are struggling about the thought of going back to work, if you're in a position like was and you don't really have a choice and you have to go back to work, get a good support team around you, have someone to talk to. Don't feel guilty about enjoying your time at work either and having a little bit of you time. Every journey is different. You can only do what you can do. So give yourself a pat on the back.
For more information on parental rights when returning to work, check out from the Citizens Advice charity.
