"If you think about the basics, all our children need is love, time, care and patience."
Tech can be really useful for parents but filtered images of a perfect family life on social media are not.
Steph chats about how her relationship with social media changed after she became a parent. Why is it so difficult for us to stop comparing ourselves to others online?
I think social media has a big impact on our parenting and I think we compare ourselves a lot. There's so many different ways to parenting and no one can tell you what is the right way. I think sometimes we're just way too hard on ourselves, give ourselves unrealistic expectations which then make us feel rubbish about ourselves, thinking like "they've got a baby who's the same age but they're doing that… and I'm not doing this…and their baby's weaning off food and mine's not… and they're breastfeeding, and I'm not breastfeeding…Blah, blah, blah."
I don't know why we do it to ourselves. If you think about the basics, all our children need is love, time, care and patience, and to just be there for them. I think sometimes it's not even our circumstances which are hard, it's the idea of what we should be in our heads that makes it hard. I think I compared myself as well because I was following a lot of parenting things online and there were all these mums, who were, I mean, good for them if they had time to do it, but I didn't, blending all different vegetables and pre-doing the foods for that week, and I wasn't doing that. I just didn't have time.
I used to really be tough on myself and take it out on myself. When I used to be on Instagram and I'd look at other mums out with their newborn babies like dressed and all pristine, and I'd think"why can't I do that?" You know, I was up the wall and I know a lot of online isn't realistic anyway, but I used to think"why can't I be like that?"
I just found the whole adjustment, you know, anyone does anyway, being a first-time parent, it is a challenge. It's a challenge as a single parent, it's a challenge for people in relationships on their relationship and it's a challenge for yourself mentally. I think as well as looking after your children, you've really got to look after your own mental health too and it's okay to ask for help. I definitely don't compare myself anymore and I don't care. Your child is your child and is unique and is their own little person and they will go at their own pace. You just have to follow them and listen to them.
