Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ

In web rows, it can be worse because you've got time to sit and think of THE most devastating comeback in the world, something you would never say to someone's face, and often you'll be so pleased at having come up with it that you won't worry about whether you SHOULD say it or not. And you can't see the effect it has on the person you said it to, because you can't see THEM.

So the next thing you get back is something just as abusive and terrible, because they're doing the same thing you are, crying on the inside, seething on the outside, so you feel like you need to up your game a bit, and REALLY give it to them, and on it goes.

Oh, and because all of that non-verbal communication stuff is missing when you're saying all this stuff, the person you think you are isn't always the person you come across as being. You believe that when you're putting your comment up that you come across as right-thinking, calm, rational and sane, and the person you're arguing with is a drooling, aggressive, smug nutbag. This is not always the way other people see things, as this helpful graphic aid demonstrates.

(Don't be thinking all this 'you' business means there's any finger-pointing going on here. We ALL do this from time to time. Check out this argument I had with the sweary , if you don't believe me. I WAS THAT HAMSTER!)

Now, to bring this back to music for a second. The interesting thing about all this role-playing and personality-enhancing stuff, is that this is exactly the kind of thing that pop stars have been doing for years. Pop stars will allow everyone to believe that they are sexier than we are, they are more fun to be around, they have better conversations, deeper thoughts, more friends and are generally a superior version of ordinary humans.

Hell, loads of them even leave their own NAMES at the door when they enter pop life. Sting, Bono, Flea, Eminem, 50 Cent, Slash...all hiding behind a nickname because they want to leave something of where they came from behind and become something better. I bet you any money Bono was even introduced to the Pope as Bono, rather than Paul Hewson. Which is kind of mad, if you really think about it what the Pope's job is, for any length of time.

So, with this glorious internet thing, everyone has a chance to become the Mariah Carey-esque diva they really, truly believe they deserve to be, but the price for this reinvention is that everyone else has the chance to reject this new-improved you, without even really giving you a chance, because they've got their own issues to work through. Tragic, eh?

This is what's really going on...

BO Person Says: You suck!
What They Mean Is: I am worried that I might suck.

BO Person Says: You are wrong, I am right!
What They Mean Is: I am worried that I am powerless in a scary world.

BO Person Says: Cuh! You didn't do THAT very well, did you?
What They Mean Is: I wish I had done that.

BO Person Says: [Famous person] is just a skank/cretin/bumface.
What They Mean Is: I am worried that my life has no purpose

BO Person Says: Why is this not up to my mighty standards?
What They Mean Is: Why does no-one worry about me?

That's all massively over-simplified, of course, but it's always worth remembering that everyone else is also putting up a front whenever a flame-war seems to be about to kick off. Everyone is working hard to appear to be a super-perfect version of themselves, but in reality they're just super-extreme versions of themselves, with none of those boring social conventions like manners to balance things out.

They're witter, prettier, sharper, nastier, more exciteable, more passionate. more keen to help, more dismissive and ten times and likely to talk about themselves all the livelong day. Just like bloggers do!

But at least they don't smell any different. That's one thing the internet can't do...yet. Sleep tight!