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Father's Day
by Vicky S
 Vicky S has been browsing the Father's Day cards in the village shop, and has posted a few to the Fantasy Archers topic of .
Picture: a sun drenched Caribbean beach complete with windsurfers
Caption: Yo! Who's da Daddy!
Dad, you are the coolest Dude
We do admire your style
Keep having crazy notions
That engross you for a while
Never mind that Grandma Julia drives you round the bend
Or that Mummy is a harpy who will meet a sticky end*
You're a fun guy and we love you
We know we always will
With lots of hugs and kisses
This card's from Fred and Lil.
*(we're all hoping)
***
Picture: photograph of an empty pint glass
Caption: To the Best Dad in the World !!!!
It's a bit sad
(Don't be mad)
But you've been had
You ain't my dad
I'm Ed's lad.
xxxGeorgexxx
***
Picture: water colour sketch of a 1930's racing car driving down a country lane
Caption: A Wish for Father's Day
I've hidden away the whisky, the brandy and the beer,
You may think that I'm a bossy boy
But my reasons are quite clear
I'm scared you'll drink too much Dad
And smash your four wheel drive
You're the only dad I've ever known
Please try to stay alive.
love from Daniel and Scruff
***
Picture: a woodland scene, with animals
Caption: To a Special Father
Josh'n'Ben'n'Pipsqueak
Have bought this card to say
We hope you have a lovely time
On Sunday, Father's Day.
Just one thing that we're asking
Please don't let Mummy cook
We'd rather boil a badger
Or roast a long dead rook.
More parodies - from Agatha Christie to Damon Runyon
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