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The Courtship of the Bumbly Phumbly Phil
by Norma Normal

Norma beautifully catches Edward Lear's nonsense style - and his poignancy, too.

Through the rain and sleet he`s ambling
On his way to Lakey Hill,
Humming as he waves his baton
Comes the Bumbly Phumbly Phil.
Though his gait is somewhat shambling
And his mind is clearly rambling
And he has not got his hat on,
Humming as he waves his baton,
No he has not got his hat on
Not the Bumbly Phumbly Phil,
Not the Bumbly Phumbly Phil.

Love has no regard for weather
And though she`s been through the mill,
"My new love is such a dolly"
Sings the Bumbly Phumbly Phil.
He has got the hots for Heather
And he makes her dress in leather;
Yes he knows that it is folly,
But that Heather`s such a dolly,
Yet he knows that it is folly
Does the Bumbly Phumbly Phil,
Does the Bumbly Phumbly Phil.

But there is a complication
(Not to mention his wife Jill).
He`s been trifling with another
Has the Bumbly Phumbly Phil.
I`m not saying its fornication -
May be, on the odd occasion.
Valda, she`s his secret lover,
Yes - it`s true that she`s the other,
Valda is the secret lover
Of the Bumbly Phumbly Phil,
Of the Bumbly Phumbly Phil.

Now he`s off to Colorado
Heather`s been to pay the bill,
It`s a cheapo deal with Saga,
Her and Bumbly Phumbly Phil.
Like when he tried avocado
It has taken much bravado;
He will miss Jill and the Aga
For this cheapo deal with Saga
Yes, he`ll miss his Jill and Aga
Will the Bumbly Phumbly Phil,
Will the Bumbly Phumbly Phil.

Valda sees them as they`re leaving,
And she follows them until
With her ample breast a-heaving
She hits Bumbly Phumbly Phil.
Oh, she lands him such a wallop !
Then one on the Geordie trollop !
"Your behaviour is most peeving"
With her ample breast a-heaving
She tells him he`s being peeving
Is the Bumbly Phumbly Phil,
Is the Bumbly Phumbly Phil.

Heather shouts "why you old devil
Cheating me as well as Jill.
I though you were on the level
You old Bumbly Phumbly Phil.
All this sex could make you peg it,
Sorry Pet I`m going to leg it,
I shall go away with Neville.
I thought you were on the level
So I`m going off with Neville,
Not the Bumbly Phumbly Phil,
Not the Bumbly Phumbly Phil".

With his baton hanging limply
He climbs up on Lakey Hill.
"I resolve to live more simply"
Sighs the Bumbly Phumbly Phil,
"I do regret my pulling power,
It`s made my love affairs turn sour.
I`m no stud who`s young and pimply,
I resolve to live more simply,
I`m not Chaba, young and pimply"
Mourns the Bumbly Phumbly Phil,
Mourns the Bumbly Phumbly Phil.