麻豆约拍

Webinar

To find out how to make your material stand-out and ask questions about the upcoming series of DMs Are Open, then join the producers for a on Thursday 4th January.

This whole page gives you all the information you need to submit so please read below!

DMs Are Open is NON-TOPICAL. Each episode has a theme and we want your sketches, notifications (more info below) and voice notes to fit that theme. We are looking for outlandish and ambitious sketches that are short and punchy, with a high gag rate.

What to submit

We have made some changes to the format of this series. The most important to consider when submitting is that episodes will have a shorter runtime of 15 minutes.

Because of this we’re condensing our submissions windows. We will have 3 windows across our 6 episodes. Each submission window will contain 2 themes that will be used across 2 episodes.

We want 1 sketch, 2 notifications and 1 voice note for each theme.

In total for each week you can submit:
2 x sketches, 1 on each theme ONLY.
4 x notifications, 2 on each theme
2 x voice notes, 1 on each theme

As we’re only asking for 1 sketch on each theme, do make sure you go through your ideas, write up and send in your best one! We receive a lot of sketches each week, so think outside the box about how your sketch applies to the theme - the more original the sketch the more it tends to stand out.

What are the themes?

Your first two are below. New themes will be released weekly, so remember to check this page every thursday. We’ll also post it out from the @DMsAreOpen麻豆约拍 X/Twitter account. As soon as submissions close for one writing week, we’ll drop the themes for the next.

WEEK 3: 7pm, Thursday 18th January -12pm, Wednesday 24th January

THEME 5: TAKING CARE

THEME 6: DISASTER

- The theme runs across sketches, notifications and voice notes.

We’ll email you to let you know if you’ve made the script or the broadcast on the Monday before each broadcast, which starts Wednesday 28th February for 5 weeks, with 2 episodes on the final night.

FORMATS

Sketches

We’ve got up to 5 performers to be in each sketch so it’ll help if your sketches reflect that - save the solo performances for voice notes! Our cast are experienced with performing sketch characters. They can do impressions, but the list is not exhaustive so please bear this in mind.

Sketches should be short (around 2 pages in our template, no more than 3), display a clear idea, and of course be packed with jokes! Remember, your sketches are being performed in audio, so can be set anywhere! It also means we don't need masses of stage directions, but do feel free to add helpful sound FX. If your sketches are running long, re-read and see what you can lose to get to the funny as quickly as possible, and end on a big laugh.

Voice Notes

And for all you performers, you’ve got the chance to hear your own voice on the show in the voice notes. Everyone can submit a 20-second audio clip a week, where you perform your own material. We want to hear from all of you character comedians and writer/performers in this section. This is a great section to create a recognisable character.

- Voice notes should be no more than 20 seconds long.
- No need for editing or adding sound effects – just your voice in a quiet room is enough!
- Single voice only.
- Make sure there’s no use of music and no background noise.
- We cannot accept parodies of songs.

Notifications

This series, one liners are having a shake-up. Along with sketches and voice notes we now want NOTIFICATIONS.

Each week, the host will ‘check their phone’ and see all the ridiculous notifications that have been piling up. The sort of push notifications we ought to turn off on our phones. These could be from any sort of app; dating, health, calendar, travel, banking, delivery, language-learning etc. They could even be fictional, fantastical apps, so long as the notification makes us laugh.

It’s an opportunity to write quick, one line gags on our weekly theme that will be relatable to anyone who’s been plagued by incessant notification.

To give you an idea of what we’re looking for, here are some examples.

Welcome to your Wetherspoons wrapped! You’ve gone ‘ayyyyyyyy’ when someone has broken a glass 100% of the time! Nationality recognised as: British.

Software update here. Are we… cool? It’s just, I’m feeling like you might be avoiding me? Wait, don’t press ignore!

Your ring doorbell has noticed MAN WITH BALACLAVA kicking the door. Do you recognise MAN WITH BALACLAVA? Please respond in 30 seconds or we will open the door for MAN WITH BALACLAVA.

Duolingo here. It’s been a week since you last logged on! Come back or we’re sending the owl round with a hammer.

How to submit

Remember you’re welcome to submit up to 1 sketch, 2 notifications, and 1 voice note per person, per theme. And here’s how you do it.
1. Download the templates below. Separate templates for each sketch but your notifications can go into one file.
2. Write in your sketches - please DO NOT submit sketches in block capitals
3. Upload your sketch in pdf. format to the uploader.

Templates:

These are .rtf files - compatible with both MAC and PC, if you’re having trouble opening it please try opening in another programme.

Audio clips for voice notes can be directly uploaded.

Deadlines:

WEEK 1
Submissions open: 7pm, Thursday 4th January
Submissions close (for everything on): Midday, Wednesday 10th January.

WEEK 2
Submissions open: 7pm, Thursday 11th January
Submissions close (for everything on): Midday, Wednesday 17th January.

WEEK 3
Submissions open: 7pm, Thursday 18th January
Submissions close (for everything on): Midday, Wednesday 24th January.

Submissions after these times or not meeting the above guidelines will NOT be read.

Fees:
There is a flat fee that we pay to writers for all non-commissioned material (regardless of the writer's previous experience):
£45 per min for sketch
£22.50 per 30 seconds for sketch
£22.50 per notification
£35.50 per voice note

If your material is used in the broadcast show, this fee will take in all rights for the work on a non-exclusive basis. This means that the fee purchases our right to transmit the material on Radio 4, 4Extra and 麻豆约拍 Sounds but the writer is free to use the material elsewhere.

Be sure to follow us on X:

Accessibility:
We are committed to accessibility for all. If you encounter any issues with submitting material, please do email us dmsareopen@bbc.co.uk with your query and we will aim to provide this information in an alternative/accessible format.