“Easter is here again.
I said Easter is here again. It used to be one of your favourite
times of the year. Next to Christmas and birthday of course.
Look, I’ve brought you your favourite Easter egg, Lee.
It’s got two flakes with it as well. Oh, and a card
too. Mustn’t forget that. Two in fact, one from me and
your dad. One from your Aunty Jacqueline. I think she’s
put some money in it too. You know how she likes to send you
something. You don’t have to open them right now if
you don’t want to. I’ll tell her you send your
thanks.
“Your father sends his
best. He’s sorry he couldn’t make it. He had to
attend the Sunday service you know. He always has to do that.
I wish you wouldn’t keep staring at the telly, it’s
not good for your eyes. Even when it’s not on, it’s
still not good for your eyes. You’re not wearing your
glasses today Lee. Where have you put them? You’ve lost
them again haven’t you? Let’s see if I can find
them. Well, they’re not on the table. Not under the
bed. I don’t know where they could be then.
“I just don’t know.
“Your sister sends her
love too. She’s got a new boyfriend now. Jack. She finally
brought him home last weekend. Introductions went well, I
think. Your father didn’t fly off the handle or anything.
Seemed to take the news quite calmly really that his little
girl was dating. Mind, she’s not so little anymore.
Twenty-one. But your father still treats her like an innocent
gal of sixteen. Not sure she is you know. Innocent that is.
But of course she never tells me anything anymore, so I wouldn’t
know. Perhaps she’s told you something?
“Not that you’d
ever tell me I suppose.
“Anyway, this Jack of
hers, bright young lad. Well, I’d say he’s about
your age, about twenty-three or four. Bright lad, yes. Blond.
She always did like blonds, your sister. I think that’s
a hairist thing that though. You know, she doesn’t want
to be the only one accused of having ‘blond moments’.
You never laugh at anything I say anymore, Lee.
“He’s doing some
sort of course at university, though your father thinks he’s
just a bit of a layabout. He never did believe in that kind
of… No, well. You know that. But she’s now thinking
of giving up her job in the bakery, our Lucy is. Jack’s
got her thinking about furthering herself, so he has. Been
giving her ideas. Encouraging her to go to art college of
all places. I ain’t told your dad that yet. Don’t
think he’d see it quite the same way she does.
“Shall I open one of your
cards? The one from me and your dad? Read it out? Alright
then. It’s got a lovely picture of a yellow chicken
on the front, just having hatched from an egg with a red ribbon
falling away from it. Inside it says: To my dear son, ‘Ye
seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified: he is risen: he
is not here: behold the place where they laid him.”
(Mark 16:6) Wishing you much happiness at Easter. Lots of
love from mum, dad and Lucy. Kiss, kiss, kiss.
“I’ll just place
it here on the side, so you can see it and perhaps have someone
read it again to you later.
“Jack seems to think Lucy
could really make a go of it, so it seems. I never really
thought anything of your sister’s doodlings myself.
But you always liked them didn’t you, Lee love? That
reminds me, here’s one of Lucy’s latest drawings,
she thought you’d like it. She made me promise not to
show your dad it, so you mustn’t either, though God
alone knows why. I’ve not seen it myself. She wouldn’t
let me see it either. I’ll just leave it here love,
on this table. I’m sure one of the nurses wouldn’t
mind holding it out for you to have a look at later.
“Do you remember the Easter
egg competitions you and your sister always entered at school
every year? And how Lucy won the competition at our local
building society one year? And you thought it was your egg,
not hers that had won? What a kerfuffle that was. Oh dear,
yes I remember that well. You must have been seven or eight
then.
“You were always such
an affectionate child. Liked your hugs, you did. Now all I
can do is put my arms round you and...
“But every time I touch
you I can’t help remembering… I can’t believe
it was only last year. A year ago today in fact. There never
was any blood. I didn’t understand that. And you looked
so peaceful. The doctor said there was hope. There’s
always hope.
“So I hoped the other
driver hadn’t gone too fast. I hoped you wouldn’t
stop breathing. I hoped you’d be awake in time for Father’s
Day, but you weren’t. I hoped you’d would be with
us – at the seaside – on Lucy’s birthday,
but you weren’t. I hoped you’d be awake for Christmas,
but you weren’t. I hoped and I hoped.
“I remember when…
Ah, there’s somebody at the door, must be your father.
Oh hello, Lucy love. Have you come to see your brother? He’s
doing really well today. Much more responsive than…”
“Mum, stop it!”
“But it’s a special
day today Lucy you know that, I thought that…”
“Yes, I know what day
it is mum. That’s why I came.”
“You’re such a sweet
girl Lucy. Come show me this drawing you asked me to give
him then. I’m dying to know what it is. Come tell him
all about Jack.”
“I can’t mum.”
“Why not darling?”
“There is no drawing.
Mum, there’s no-one here.”
“I don’t know what
you mean love. Are you playing one of your games again, that
you two always used to play together? Are you playing at invisible
friends again?”
“Mum, I haven’t
had invisible friends for many years now. You know that. Look
I can’t stay long. Jack’s waiting in the car for
me, and I know dad’s going to be here soon, so I…”
“Your dad’s coming?
That’s wonderful. He doesn’t come to see Lee that
much these days.”
“Mum, he’s coming
to see you. Not Lee.”
“Well, it’s Lee
he should be seeing. He sees me all the time.”
“Mum, I’ve got to
go. I know dad’s really looking forward to seeing you.
Spending some time alone with you. I’ll call in to see
you properly tomorrow and sit with you a bit.”
“Wait a minute Lucy, aren’t
you going to kiss your brother goodbye before you go? Aren’t
you going to wish him a happy Easter?”
“No mum.”
“Well that’s very
rude of you, I’m sure. I expected more from you Lucy.
Just because you’ve fallen out with your brother, doesn’t
mean you can’t be polite.”
“Mum, Lee’s dead.
When you gonna get that through your head? He’s dead,
mum.”
“Lucy!”
“Sorry mum. I’m
sorry. I knew I shouldn’t have come.”
“He can hear you, you
know. Just because he can’t say anything, or even look
at you, doesn’t mean to say he can’t hear what’s
going on. He needs reassurance that the people he loves are
still here for him. How can you be so ignorant? He loves you,
Lucy.”
“And I love him mum. Don’t
you think I miss him too?”
“Well look love, there’s
no need to cry. I’m sure Lee will forgive you if you
apologise and give him a hug. He just needs a hug from his
favourite sister. Then he’ll feel better.”
“Mum, please stop this.
Please.”
“You two argued so much
when you were little, but I thought you both grew out of that.
I was sure you had. I’ve seen the two of you together,
how you always stick up for each other. And keep your little
secrets, even from your own mother.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow
mum.”
“Lucy! The nerve of that
girl! Who does she think she is? She didn’t even stay
to show me what the drawing was all about. It only would have
taken five minutes. She could’ve at least shared some
of the chocolate with us. Couldn’t she Lee, love? Lee?”
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