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 |  | Santa's Kingdom at the NEC, reviewed by Vic Minett of the website team
Santa's Kingdom promised to be the experience of a lifetime for the young - and young at heart - who adore the magic of Christmas and revel in all things festive.
Sadly, the experience was a huge disappointment and, at almost £20 a head, could be an expensive one, too, for families.
For the event, a marquee and building on the NEC complex have been transformed into a model of Santa's homeland, with an ice cave, toy factory, elf school, sleigh-packing area and more.
This magical area is populated with equally magical figures - elves, reindeer, penguins, Mrs Claus, the Ice Queen and the big man himself - although I didn't get to spend much time with any of them.
In fact, the main fault with the whole experience for me, was that I was made to feel like one of the toys on Santa's production line - I was ushered in, hurried around and left only to take the foot of the accelerator at the very beginning and end of the experience - where I was encouraged to spend more money.
The festive treat begins in the departure lounge, where families resplendent in paper wristbands await their "shuttle" to the kingdom itself. My partner and I attended on a Sunday - obviously one of the busiest days, we assumed.
At least, we hoped that was the reason why we were forced to wait for half-an-hour surrounded by merchandise and being serenaded by a gang of furry creatures, including a frightening snowman and even more frightening Orville-like penguin, before we were shepherded though.
Another wait was ahead - this time of only ten minutes, thankfully - before we were able to embark.
The shuttle was, in fact, a room dressed up to look like a kind of craft and we were subjected to a loud rumbling while being hopefully encouraged to lean left, right and backwards Star Trek-style to send the ship on its way.
The shuttle journey, believe it or not, is billed as one of the highlights of the event.
Ìý| Ìý |  | The Ice Queen casts an eye over her kingdom
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After being shepherded through the tacky white plastic Ice Cave by the Ice Queen we arrived in the elf village and there began a whistle-stop tour, allowing time only to hear a song and a joke from the workers before being sent on our way.
As the party on the shuttles before and after ours were rushed through/held back as we made our way, it all felt very chaotic and claustrophobic.
This wasn't helped by the very loud ambient noise coming from other areas of the attraction, which made it almost impossible to hear some elves - even when they had microphones that worked.
ÌýPlay area was snow joke
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The biggest disappointment came at the end of the event - probably the most eagerly-awaited of all - the snow play area and Father Christmas's grotto.
Sadly, as this was the only area where people actually could relax without being forced onwards, it was too packed to see or have a go on anything without waiting ages. Some things cost way, way too much money as well.
The snow slide looked fun - and immensely populated - while Snowball Alley turned out to be a coconut shy-like piece of kit, where snowballs could be chucked at cut-out snowmen and not at each other.
However, the crowds surging around the slide/alley and other attractions meant the queue to see Father Christmas was mercifully short and he was a jolly soul, making sure all children that bothered to step in left with a smile.
ÌýThe meaning of Christmas?
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The lack of queues to see the great man left me with only one thought - why take children to Santa's Kingdom in the first place if they don't believe in Father Christmas?
| Ìý |  | Grumpy the Elf summed up the mood of many
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After a childhood spent balancing on the knees of dodgy department store Father Christmases and going home with a grin and an even dodgier present, I was well impressed and filled with Christmas magic after seeing this Santa.
It appears that many of today's children are interested only in a production-line stab at the meaning of Christmas before an hour fleecing the parents on the attractions.
ÌýSanta's Kingdom is on at the NEC from Friday, 29 November to Monday, 23 December.
Tickets are £17.50, plus booking fee. For more information, call 0870 010 9085 or follow the link on the left.
All guests are advised to wrap up warm.
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