麻豆约拍

I became aware of the Felix Dexter Bursary when the 麻豆约拍 Writersroom posted about it on Facebook. It’s funny that this opportunity came up just as I’d announced to my fans, well just to my friends really, ok it was only to my mother and she wasn’t even listening - that “I would take one more stab at this comedy writing lark before basically sacking it off and getting a fulltime job at Farmfoods.”

So I took it as my big chance to see - if I’d still got it. Turned out somehow I did still have it but the doctor gave me some cream and its cleared up now but the good news is that I also ended up being chosen for the Felix Dexter Bursary! Now, how did that happen? I think it happened because instead of talking myself out of applying, I put on my big girl pants, breathed into a paper bag for a bit and then like Nike are always banging on about, I just did it.

And, a miraculous thing happened when I just did it. I actually enjoyed doing it. I mean to be fair, the application was pretty damn cool as far as applications go. I thought I was going to spend the night reading old scripts getting side-tracked by their brilliance and hilarity but then I remembered I would probably have to send one of mine. Luckily, for this application you actually have to create something from scratch and do some new original writing. I honestly think this is what got me the interview. I mean, everyone’s best work is usually something they’ve enjoyed writing isn’t it? Even if it is in a morbidly curious way like when I penned The Depressing Memoirs of an Obese Out of Work Comedy Writer.

So there were two interviews to somehow wing my way through. The first was with the bubbly Sarah Asante from Comedy Commissioning which just ended up being a great chinwag about comedy. And, the second was with Sarah and the Controller of Comedy Commissioning Shane Allen which had me reaching for the paper bag but ended up just being a friendly chat about what the bursary entailed and what I wanted to get out of it. Although at that time all I wanted was to just stop sweating from the top of my head. I think I did manage to mumble something about wanting to reconnect with the industry after a hiatus.

If I had to give one tip about doing well in the interviews it would be that old annoying, chestnut “just be yourself” because they’re looking to find people who have something fun and original to say. And, in my opinion the only way to be original is to be yourself and that means sharing the good, the bad and the sweaty.

So I got the gig. Yay! But being from the North and I don’t mean Watford Gap, it meant that I was going to have to be on top of my commuting game. Apps I couldn’t live without out: City Mapper, Air bnb, Uber and Flappy bird. I was joined on the bursary by Jonny Wright and thank goodness for that. He’s the kind of cheeky fella who will ask all the questions that you wouldn’t dare. Like “When are we meeting Paul Whitehouse?”, “Where’s the folding bikes?” and “When do we get paid?”. You will be glad to know that the legendary Paul Whitehouse did put in an appearance, you’re better off staying as far away from folding bikes as possible anyway, my mum reckons they’re a death trap – you just never know when they’re going to fold up and you do get paid. Pretty well too.

The first two weeks of training go by in a blur, its absolute sensory overload, you meet so many faces, have to remember so many names and have to explain who you are and what you’ve done so many times that you won’t even remember your own name or recognise your own face in the mirror anymore. It’s definitely a good idea to make notes – you will need them to recall who is worth stalking later. It calms down a bit after that, I think the third week we had a placement on Newsjack where I learnt that writing one liners makes my brain hurt and Angela Barnes really is as brilliant as she sounds. We wrote some sketches for Famalam that didn’t make the cut but getting real notes back from Ben Caudell the producer and having to redeliver draft after draft quickly was a tough but valuable experience.

Since I am interested in writing Studio Sitcom, I was invited up to Glasgow to sit in on a weeks filming of Mrs Browns Boys which in all honesty, felt like a holiday. Brandon O Carroll’s advice to me was “It’s piss easy”. See, just like I said previously if you enjoy what you write and what you do then it does seem piss easy and you do seem to get more breaks. The crew made me feel like one of the family and I was tempted to climb in the back of one of the many Mrs Brown’s Boys transit vans and stowaway with them on their Australian tour.

All of this just stirred up the desire to be doing it myself though, I just wanted to write and luckily we were given the time freedom to do just that. We also had access to a script editor which was a fabulous luxury. I mean, how often do you get chance to talk to someone about your own work for hours on end for free? Not even my cat will put up with that.

Six months went by in the blink of an eye and concluded with a reading of mine and Jonny’s sitcoms at no less than The Ivy, darling. My reading was produced by the gorgeous This Country assistant producer Inez Gordon and we managed to bag a stellar cast including Paul Whitehouse, Carla Medonca, Patrick Turpin, Frieda Thiel and Marcia Warren. It was all beyond exciting and I didn’t need to breathe in my paper bag very much at all. It wasn’t even just me laughing at my own jokes for once, other people were laughing too. A lot.

Inez has miraculously agreed to continue developing the sitcom with me and there have been discussions with commissioning about how we will be taking it forwards. Now, I don’t want to jinx myself but I think I need to reinstall Flappy Bird and stock up on paper bags. In other news, I am also talking to several writing agents about representation (although, it’s not too late –hint, hint - hit me up!)

Applications for the Felix Dexter Bursary 2018 close on Monday 30th July at 5pm