Elvi, Elvi Everywhere¡.
- 30 Sep 07, 09:11 PM
I am utterly ashamed to admit that over the last couple of Saturday nights I have been glued to the telly watching the search for the World¡¯s Greatest Elvis on Â鶹ԼÅÄ 1. Like eating peanut butter with your finger straight from the jar or fancying Simon Cowell, this is one of those secret vices, a guilty pleasure that dare not speak its name. Representing the five ages of Elvis, from the ¡®jailhouse¡¯ to Vegas, I must further confess that my favourite era is definitely that kitchy, campy, chubby, rhinestone studded, white jumpsuited, final fling. As Presley impersonators from every corner of the globe got ¡®all shook up¡¯ in their attempts to be crowned king, I got to thinking that surely there have never been so many pretenders to the title in one television studio. So what would be the correct collective noun for just such a group of Elvis wannabes¡.
You could have an ¡®excess¡¯ of Elvi, an ¡®ego¡¯ of Elvi, an ¡®obsession¡¯ of Elvi, a ¡®pleading¡¯ of Presleys or even a ¡®pelvi¡¯ of Elvi. In the end I settled for an ¡®embarrassment¡¯ of Elvi ¨C take out of that what you will.
I love clever collective nouns though. Real ones like a ¡®murder¡¯ of crows or an ¡®armoury¡¯ of aardvarks. Then there are the ones that you can¡¯t help wishing were true¡. a ¡®greed¡¯ of lawyers, an ¡®absence¡¯ of waiters, a ¡®treachery¡¯ of spies, an ¡®amble¡¯ of walkers, a ¡®pomposity¡¯ or professors, or what about a ¡®swelter¡¯ of blankets. I particularly like an ¡®annoyance¡¯ of mobile phones or what about a 'blether' of broadcasters - I know several who would fit that bill!
But if you think you can do better then please do not hesitate to contribute to this ¡®nonsense¡¯ of nouns!
Ode to Autumn
- 28 Sep 07, 03:57 PM
¡®Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, close-bosom friend of the maturing sun.¡¯ I couldn¡¯t have put it better myself, although that¡¯s obviously the perfect poetry of Keats as opposed to the poor prose of Kim. This really is my favourite time of the year and it¡¯s amazing how many times I¡¯ve heard that phrase uttered around me in the last week. So what is it about Autumn that we all love so much?
From my perspective it starts with the trees and that combination of colours as the leaves turn from the lush green of summer to flaming reds and gorgeous russets. When the sun shines it¡¯s golden. A soft, diffused light that warms you, but not quite enough to keep the increasing chill at bay. One of the most breathtaking natural wonders I have ever seen is Fall in the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee and what about Paris as the ubiquitous chestnut trees shed their glowing mantles. How strange that nature throws up its finest and most vibrant riches when it¡¯s dying. I told you I was no poet, and as you can see I fare no better as a philosopher. So, moving to matters more practical and prosaic¡¡..
I can start getting out my cosy cardigans again and, let us be completely honest here, winter woollies are a lot more forgiving of those little bodily imperfections than skimpy summer fashions. Then there¡¯s the footwear. No more teetering about on vertiginously high, strappy sandals pretending that your feet aren¡¯t killing you. Now is the season to embrace comfort over style. I am eager to slip into some flat, fleecy boots and the dark, opaque tights that disguise my lumpy legs, the fluffy sweaters to swathe my dinner lady arms and the layers that let me hide my hips ¨C ¡°it¡¯s not me, it¡¯s just the fabric! Honest!¡± And I haven¡¯t even touched on nightwear!
Actually you really do need a bit of give in the hip department to accommodate the seasonal comfort eating and the fact that an extra inch or two of insulation is essential to keep you warm when that biting north wind comes to call. Think stews, casseroles, creamy mash, champ, sausages and soups. I love soups, but I could never eat them in the summer, it just wouldn¡¯t be right. It would be like eating turkey in July ¨C it goes against the very laws of nature. I would go so far as to say I get obsessive about soup. Last year it was curried parsnip ¨C but it didn¡¯t taste the same if I left the lashings of cream out, and even I tip the odd nod to healthy eating. So, I¡¯m currently overdosing on my new recipe for butternut squash soup ¨C the secret is a good sprinkling of chilli powder and, to make it especially good for you, a scattering of sunflower and pumpkin seeds on top.
Then there¡¯s the wine. It must always be red in winter and again that is excellent news on the health front as it¡¯s the one that¡¯s full of antioxidants and so is, in fact, like drinking a tonic. One, or occasionally two, glasses of wine a night is said to be very beneficial to one¡¯s general well being. I just wonder if those recommendations hold when each of your glasses holds a third of a bottle! And everybody knows that there¡¯s no point in keeping an opened bottle of wine if there¡¯s less than half left in it!
So that¡¯s my reward after taking Ella for a nice walk in the park. I can enjoy the glories of nature, come back tired but happy, light the fire, slip into something a little more comfortable ¨C my fluffy bunny jammies to be precise ¨C have a bowl of stew with a glass of wine and watch a chick flick. Heaven!
Now you can see exactly why I love Autumn! Why we all do!!
The Wild, the Innocent & The Queen St. Shuffle
- 27 Sep 07, 02:23 PM
Another facinating part of the Toronto experience has been the , a place where DJs, composers and progressive heads have gathered to learn more. The Academy is a moveable feast, an annual event that has previously visited London, Sao Paolo, Berlin and Melbourne. Students are hauled in from around the world, names acts are brought in to lecture and the studio spaces are loaded with new kit and gleaming, beta versions of technology that has yet to go public.
In the middle of this throbbing potential, there's a guy from Ballyclare called Connor Dougan. He's clearly inspired by the scheme, and will doubtless aim much of this knowledge into his own musical plan, . This bold idea was previewed a week ago at The Pavillion in Belfast, when Connor got busy with the record decks, the laptop, the digital sampler, the electric guitar, the bass and the harmonica. he even sang a bit. He's a creative millionaire.
So every day, Connor goes down to the Academy on Queen St, where he'll take in a lecture from the likes of DJ Premier, or Sheffield's Martin Ware. Ulrich Schnausse is on the schedules, along with hip hop innovator Arthur Baker and Jamaican legend King Jammy. It's a royal education.
Yesterday, was wondering if soundwaves could one day stop a speeding bullet. The day before, Martin Ware had talking about his days with the Human League and Heaven 17 and previewed his new experiments with 3D soundscapes.
There's also an exhibition by photographer who documented the early days of hip hop in a maginificent book, Back In The Days. His work is edgy, compassionate and cool. It's a school of the heart, and it's definitely in the right place, right time.
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
Polaris Strike
- 25 Sep 07, 10:31 PM
Last night we charmed our way into the at the Phoenix Concert Theatre, Toronto. It was a chance for Canada to show off some of its best alternative music, and it made a handy job of it.
The Arcade Fire and Feist were on the shortlist, but sadly they were engaged elsewhere. But we did see live performances from The Besnard Lakes, Joel Plaskett Emergency and the most excellent Miracle Fortress. We copped a bunch of interviews in the media area, and shared eliptical thoughts with Murray from The Dears. Patrick Watson was smiling and telling us amusing stories about his recent Irish tour. Ultimately it was he who won the award, judged by an academy of media people. He gamboled around the stage and revealed that the $20 000 cheque would cover the cost of a Budget rental truck they totalled earlier in the year.
We took in the fine hospitality and mingled at the after-show, swapping stories of Irish and Canadian music on the rise. Heads were rather sore today, but the spirit is undiminished.
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
Toronto Calling
- 24 Sep 07, 04:35 PM
I haven't been to Toronto for a few years, but happily, it's still looking good. The people are civil, the second hand bookshops are stacked high and the bohemian strip around Queens St West is tremendously cultured.
Last night I saw Akron / Family at the inappropriately named Lee's Palace. It was in fact a dingey joint, but the music was remarkable. The A/F posse look like vagabonds and unabombers and they play loads of instruments in a style that's designed to hypnotise and to trip the consciousness. They were also the backing band for a recent Hal Wilner CD of sea shanties, but I wouldn't hold that against them.
Anyway, myself and some pals took as much of this as jet lag would allow. They were harmonising like the mice from Bagpuss. They had whistles and hand drums. They played 'Turn On Your Love Light' like Them on extra gospel juice. And the Canadians seemed to like it a great deal.
Tonight we're on the door for the Polaris Awards - the Canadian version of the Mercurys. The nominees include the Arcade Fire, Stars, The Dears and the Besnard Lakes. All proof that the artist from these parts are currently giving it socks. Catch you presently...
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
Dr Feelgood Done Great
- 21 Sep 07, 09:56 AM
It¡¯s been 30 years since I saw my first proper gig. It was the Ulster Hall, and the band that took my cherry was a rude little rhythm and blues combo from Canvey Island called Dr Feelgood.
In their time, they were an important act. They were playing intense, three chord songs in an era when Rick Wakeman and progressive rock ruled. Their first album, ¡®Down By The Jetty¡¯ was even recorded in mono as a defiant statement. Many people have argued that the Feelgoods and their rivals, Eddie And The Hot Rods, opened the door for punk rock and for opportunists like Bob Geldof and The Boomtown Rats. They might be correct.
I remember the expectation of having that concert ticket at home, weeks ahead of the date. Myself and my mates learnt as many of the words as possible, and even planned out what we¡¯d be wearing. There were a couple of veterans in our gang, who¡¯d seen them before and who promised an amazing ritual.
Sure enough, it was a joy. In the queues outside, I saw my first punk rockers. In the venue itself, we were actually seated behind the band. But this was no terrible thing as we could witness the singer Lee Brilleaux working that crowd, more primal than anything we¡¯d seen. Presently we were standing up, lost in the fever of it all, as John B Sparks hammered the bass and The Big Figure manhandled the drums. Sadly, their premier guitarist, Wilko Johnson had quit by this stage, but John Mayo was a decent replacement. Hey, what did we know, we weren¡¯t feeling critical.
I wouldn¡¯t try to calculate how many live bands I¡¯ve seen since then, but The Feelgoods were my first, and for that I will always be grateful. So on tonight¡¯s radio show, I will play one of their majestic old songs for memory¡¯s sake and for the dear, departed Lee Brilleaux.
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
Peter's Friends
- 20 Sep 07, 03:57 PM
The increasingly bold team is pushing for a chart placing this Sunday, and so they should. Their mailing list now extends to 11 000 enthusiastic souls, and they hope this if a good percentage of those people make an online purchase, then our friend Peter will be catapulted into the top end of the UK chart.
Even better, the song deserves it. ¡®Our Love Goes Deeper Than This¡¯ is breezy and insistent ¨C a tag team recording that finds Peter and Neil Hannon from The Divine Comedy swapping vocals and vying to outbid each other in their declarations of love. Somewhere in the mix there¡¯s the sound of Romeo from the Magic Numbers, while the song itself was co-written by Paul Wilkinson from The Amazing Pilots. That¡¯s another part of the Duke Special method ¨C to cement friendships in music and to continually widen the frame.
I think this modest little blog page can also do its part. So let¡¯s all make that online purchase before Sunday. We can add some critical units to the placing, pushing the Duke above James Blunt, silly old Fergie, Rihanna and Phil Collins with his comedy gorilla.
You know, it¡¯s practically a civic duty.
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
Causeway To Heaven
- 17 Sep 07, 10:09 AM
While the controversy rages over the Causeway Visitors¡¯ Centre, I¡¯d like to put in a rogue bid. Why not give the concession over to Led Zeppelin? They are, after all, exponents of majestic rock. They can certainly draw a crowd, with 20 million ticket applications to their upcoming London gig. And the band really does have a vested interested in Ireland¡¯s most awesome piece of coastline.
Their 1973 album, ¡®Houses Of The Holy¡¯ featured The Giant¡¯s Causeway in a rather fanciful light - orange and solarised and occupied by some strange elfin creatures. Since then, a series of rock acts have visited the scene of this iconic shoot. Those Bristol loons The Moonflowers even posed on the very same rocks, utterly naked as a homage.
Meantime, The Stone Roses made a call in 1988, taking a detour from a University Of Ulster date. Guitarist was so taken by the colour of the sea around the causeway that he used the same tone for his painting ¡®Bye Bye Badman¡¯. This in turn became the cover image of their legendary self-titled album a year later.
Led Zeppelin have impinged on our rock history several times. When they played the Ulster Hall on March 5, 1971, they used the opportunity to unveil their latest song, ¡®Stairway To Heaven¡¯. It was also the first time that Jimmy Page played his double necked Gibson guitar in public, fact fans.
If I had the chance to revisit a rock and roll moment, that gig would be near the top of the list. Belfast, in the throes of sectarian carnage, random explosions and butchery akimbo. But in the sanctuary of this lovely old building, a bunch of hairy rockers were raving about May Queens, spring cleans and there being a bustle in your hedgerow. It makes me wonder, indeed.
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
The Springsteen Alphabet
- 14 Sep 07, 01:47 PM
Thanks for all the top suggestions for my ¡®Numbers Racket¡¯ radio programme. This is going out on Friday, September 28.
I¡¯ve got another interesting show on the schedules, an A-Z of Bruce Springsteen. From Asbury Park to Robert Zimmerman. Two hours worth, on December 14. Here are some early ideas, put together with the help of my pal, Mark Keown. Any other suggestions?
A for Asbury Park, New Jersey
A for Adam Raised A Cain
B for Born To Run and Born In The USA
B for Gary US Bonds
C for Courtney Cox who danced with him in the vid for "Dancing in the Dark".
C for Clarence Clemons, sax player.
D for Darkness At TheEdge Of Town
E for E Street Band
F for Freehold, New Jersey, place of birth
F for Future of rock 'n' roll - famous John Landau article
G for Woody Guthrie
H for Hungtry Heart
H for John Hammond
I for 'Independence Day'.'
J for Julianne Phillips, the first Mrs S
J for Tom Joad
J for 'Jungleland'
K for John Kerry
L for legal battles with Mike Appel; ¡®The Promise¡¯ is considered an oblique response to that period
L for John Landau
M for Magic
N for "No Nukes" - great "Detroit Medley" on soundtrack
N for Nebraska and New Jersey
O for Roy Orbison
P for Patti Smith and Patti Scialfa
P for Philadelphia
P for 'Paradise'
Q for Mary, Queen Of Arkansas
R for Rosalita
R for Ronald Regan
R for The River
R for The Rising
S for Pete Seeger
S for Sept 11
S for Stone Pony
T for Tunnel Of Love
T for Fender Telecaster
U for U2
V for Viva Las Vegas
V for Van Morrison
V for Vote For Change
W for The Wild The Innocent and the E Street Shuffle
w for 'We Shall Overcome'
X
Y
Z for ¡®Zero and Blind Terry¡¯, recorded between the first two albums and released much later on Tracks
Z for Robert Zimmerman, aka Bob Dylan.
Z for Steve Van Zandt
Any more suggestions?
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
Off the Menu
- 13 Sep 07, 01:45 AM
It¡¯s enough to give you indigestion! What I¡¯m referring to is that nightly serving of culinary chaos from the latest series of tv¡¯s Hell¡¯s Kitchen. In terms of the recipe nothing much appears to have changed, but the quality of the ingredients has definitely gone from gourmet to garbage.
The so-called ¡®celebrity¡¯ chefs include one time pop star Paul Young ¨C ah, remember the 80¡¯s; Big Brother winner Brian Dowling ¨C to remind you, he was the gay, Irish one; Anneka Rice ¨C who has obviously realised she¡¯s too old to jump out of jeeps and helicopters but still wants to be on telly; and then there are a couple of those ¡®Heat¡¯ magazine type girls who are ¡®wags¡¯ or appear on tv soaps or something ¨C I have no idea who they are. Even less believable, former world champion and local hero Barry McGuigan has swapped boxing gloves for oven gloves (but is still lovely); and then there is ¡®comic¡¯ ¨C I use the term loosely ¨C Jim Davidson, and more of him in a moment.
They are all chopping, sweating and saut¨¦ing under the watchful eye of another reputedly bad boy chef, Marco Pierre White. But if you were expecting fireworks from him forget it! This is a man who has clearly had a charisma bypass, apparently almost never swears in the kitchen and doesn¡¯t seem to have raised his voice once. God, it really is like watching cream curdle. Oh how I long for Gordon Ramsay¡¯s foul mouthed outbursts! As for sex appeal, well, MPW wears a napkin as a sweat band round his head and has this kind of Worsel Gummage straw stuff poking out underneath ¨C I can only assume it¡¯s too many years set at gas mark 7.
But let me return to Jim Davidson who now, thankfully, has left the kitchen which had clearly gotten way too hot for him. Misogynistic, homophobic, sexist, control freak ¨C and those are just his better qualities ¨C he made Jade Goody look like Mother Theresa. And talking of irredeemably unpleasant men, one of the only truly entertaining moments to date was when MPW sent the odious John McCrirrick packing for daring to send back his soup ¨C ok, so Marco isn¡¯t all bad.
Actually, I generally find the most enjoyable part of the programme to be Angus Deayton¡¯s ascerbic asides. I have no idea whether he scripts then himself or some clever scribe does it for him, either way, his delivery and timing are impeccable and he has just the right amount of smugness. So saying all of that, isn¡¯t it time that Angus was finally allowed a passport back from television Siberia - I can¡¯t even remember any more what the scandal was that froze him out in the first place, some sexual indiscretion I think, but whatever the crime he¡¯s done the time and ¡®Have I Got News For You¡¯ was never the same without him.
Now, talking of doing time ¡.I happily would to remove Nigella Lawson from our television screens. I was never a big fan anyway, frankly I don¡¯t think she can actually cook and her recipes are rubbish, but the latest series ¡®Nigella Express¡¯ is even more appalling than usual. It is nothing more than the daily diary of some posh, rich, Chelsea housewife who manages to fit in a spot of cooking in her busy social calendar. Now, Nigella is a beautiful and glamorous woman, of that there is no doubt, but she really has become a complete parody of herself. All that ¡°oh this chocy mousse is just sooooo delectably scrummy¡± stuff as she suggestively licks her fingers ¨C not for nothing was the phrase ¡®food porn¡¯ coined for Nigella ¨C or the Ab Fab style ¡°sweetie, darling this whole fabulous feast only took me 15 minutes to cook from scratch¡± as some middle aged, slightly portly and very rich dinner guest replies sympathetically ¡°Oh darling how do you manage it all after a hard day¡¯s work!¡± Don¡¯t make me laugh!
Do you know, when I watched the programme a couple of nights ago I actually kept expecting impressionist Ronni Ancona to pop out from under a Nigella mask. Talking of faking it ¨C that kitchen she uses isn¡¯t even hers, apparently it¡¯s some sort of tv set in a unit on an industrial estate. Hardly surprising really as her multi, multi, multi millionaire husband Charles Saatchi probably has Tracey Emin¡¯s unmade bed next to the cooker at home ¨C now that really would be Hell¡¯s Kitchen! So, Nigella - phoney and sloaney ¨C a fatal combination.
But if you do want wonderful recipes for fine food to cook at home then look no further than Radio Ulster. Each week on the Saturday Magazine Paula McIntyre delivers delectable dishes with equal portions of humour and down to earth know how. I¡¯d love to see her in Hell¡¯s Kitchen ¨C Marco Pierre White wouldn¡¯t know what had hit him!
Gotta Hear This, #2
- 12 Sep 07, 06:29 PM
It's the early weeks of 1984 and I have a compilation tape on endless rotation on the car stereo. My friend Stephen McKenna has put loads of magnificent music together for me, including Quando Quango, Shriekback, Talking Heads and some other arcane gems. As an added bonus, there's a snippet of some amazing tune at the end of side one. It's a left-over from some previous compilation that was on the cassette and I'm transfixed by the sound.
I hear a cello, a wistful, European voice, some piano and a ringing bell. It sounds a bit like Nico and the Velvet Underground, but Stephen eventually tells me that it's a Belgian act called Bernth?ler and the song is 'My Suitor'. I listen some more as the vocalist murmers, "he's a fighter, with no dagger" . What does she mean, exactly?
I get a tip-off that the record is in the remnants section of the cheapo record shop on Gresham Street, Belfast. So I buy 'My Suitor' on 12 inch and marvel at the extended mix that dissolves into 'Pardon Up Here'. The latter has been scored by a fella called Wim Mertins, who is apparently big in Brussels, while the singer is an Albanian, Drita Kotaji.
I play it compulsively and gaze at the sleeve illustrations and the photo of the beatnik girl with the entrancing lament. The record label is Blanco y Negro, run by indie heavyweights Geoff Travis, Mike Alway and Michel Duval and a few years later, when I make the acquaintance of Mike, I commend him on this glorious release. He agrees, but the inference is that there were some grave difficulties and so the act was passed over.
Around 1996, I do a computer search on the band and it takes me to Simon Rigot from Bernth?ler, who sends me a CD compilation of the band's fine career. I also learn that the record has a proper cult following, while a radio show on Studio-Brussel even ran a programme of 'My Suitor' cover versions. And just recently, the converging fun of MySpace and YouTube have taken me to a specialist , where I can see Drita in performance and sample a strange Japanese tribute.
Ain't music the greatest thing?
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
Almost Famous (Slight Return)
- 10 Sep 07, 04:20 PM
Here¡¯s an old photo of me almost meeting Bob Geldof. I was digging through my archives and it made me laugh. It was taken at the launch party for World Party¡¯s ¡®Bang¡¯ album, in George Martin¡¯s newly renovated Air Studios. There are many reasons for the amusement.
1. I have my eyes resolutely closed.
2. My Radiohead T-shirt looks completely silly. The rubber print on the front also made my chest perspire.
3. I never actually met Bob on this occasion. Karl Walinger from World Party (centre) didn¡¯t make the introduction.
4. The bloke giving me the rabbit ears is , former production staff at NME. He is now Deputy Editor of GQ, and could probably advise me about my ill-advised T-shirt choices.
5. The lady grinning over my shoulder is Suzanne Parkes, who was PR for Sinead O¡¯Connor during the maddest of times, 1990-93.
6. Karl Walinger was terribly nervous as his new album wasn¡¯t the greatest and we were gossiping rudely during much of the playback. His manager, the late Steve Fargnoli (who also handled Prince) kept scowling at us.
7. Look at Bob Geldof and thon luscious black hair.
Would anyone like to provide an entertaining caption for this non-event?
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
The Good, the Bad and the Burglar
- 10 Sep 07, 03:45 PM
I have just had a fortnight huge chunks of which I would prefer to forget. Hence my reticence to blog ¨C nobody wants to listen to a whiney blogger. However, now with a little bit of distance I feel ready to take you through my two weeks of trauma. Let us begin though by concentrating on the ¡®good¡¯ which is, after all, the word that appears first in the title. Indeed, things started out fabulously well with a quick trip to Paris and a couple of romantic days with the beloved for his birthday. He is now officially the older man, at least until I catch up again on Christmas Eve ¨C I know, an awful day for a birthday! But back to Paris, where the weather was warm and sunny and I sat in picturesque parks and chic cafes watching the world go by and reading an excellent book, a real page turner, called ¡®The Interpretation of Murder¡¯ by an American writer called Jed Rubenfeld ¨C indeed, with a name like that, what other nationality could he possibly be. Better yet he is ¨C wait for it ¨C the Robert R Slaughter Professor of Law at Yale ¨C now that¡¯s what I call a moniker! I never normally read crime novels or books about murder but I picked this up at the airport and it¡¯s more a turn of the century New York whodunit meets a lesson in psychoanalysis delivered by Sigmund Freud. It actually won Galaxy Book of the Year ¨C yes, it¡¯s one of the Richard and Judy finds ¨C but don¡¯t let that put you off. So, well read and slightly tanned, I return from Paris, go straight back into the Saturday Magazine, and everything¡¯s great.
Now, you know I have a dodgy knee, and it¡¯s always in a particularly delicate state after days of traipsing up and down the stairs on the metro. So, can you then explain to me why, after I finished my show last Sunday, I felt the necessity to weed the garden? To make matters worse, in an effort to try and save my knee from too much strain I put my back out. Yes, you¡¯ll have realised by now that we¡¯re moving into the ¡®bad¡¯ sector of this blog. So, feeling very sorry for myself I retired to the kitchen and ate the entire contents of the top two shelves of the fridge ¨C I couldn¡¯t bend down to reach the bottom ones. Sadly, in that emotionally fuelled feeding frenzy, I clearly didn¡¯t take time to check the ¡®sell by¡¯ dates of what had been in there since before I went away, which is the only reason I can think of for the full on stomach upset that followed.
So, I lose several days of my life and it¡¯s about Wednesday when I finally re-emerge gingerly downstairs bringing my handbag with me. Big mistake! Later that evening I¡¯m up in the bathroom, I¡¯ve just had a bath and I¡¯m doing that lotions and potions thing while Ella, as always, is sitting outside the door ¨C it really is all very ¡®Old Shep¡¯ in our house. It¡¯s quiet, the lights are off downstairs and the next thing I hear is the distinctive creaking of my patio doors opening. No, I hadn¡¯t locked the back door, but for goodness sake I was in the house, I hadn¡¯t gone to bed yet, and the dog hadn¡¯t even been out for her final ¡®visit¡¯ of the night.
Of course, as soon as she heard the noise Ella went bouncing downstairs barking her head off, hackles up and rushing fearlessly into an encounter with ¡®Johnny Burglar¡¯. I, on the other hand, was a bit more hesitant, wrapping myself up in a big towel, and shouting down in my best bass voice ¡°Who¡¯s there? Is anyone there?¡± Honestly, my heart was in my mouth as I tip toed downstairs, scared to death of what I would find. I took a deep breath, threw on all the lights and ¡..the room was totally empty except for Ella standing barking out into the night with the doors shut tight. I opened them cautiously, let her out for a run around and clearly no-one was there.
So where had they gone? That¡¯s the point where my over active imagination clicked in, no doubt fuelled by Mr Rubenfeld¡¯s fine storytelling, and I realised ¡®they¡¯ must be hiding in the cupboard under the stairs. So, I grabbed a ridiculously large knife from the drawer and flung open the door screaming ¡°I know you¡¯re in there!!¡± Honestly, it was like ¡®Halloween¡¯ meets ¡®Friday the 13th¡¯ and I am truly mortified at the corny theatricality of it all. Of course nobody was in the cupboard, how could they be? I have so much rubbish stuffed in there I can hardly squeeze the vacuum cleaner in. Anyway, to cut a long story short I checked around and decided it must have been the wind or something, but I still double locked the doors, kept all the lights on and took Ella, and the knife, up to bed.
Sadly though, this is a story with an unhappy ending. Next morning I got up, went to get my handbag and no sign of it. I searched the house and it was gone. I think I had been so freaked the night before because it was all so quick, nobody was there and nothing seemed to be missing that I hadn¡¯t really taken everything in. Of course you know what a stolen handbag means don¡¯t you! Canceling credit cards, cheque books, changing the locks of the house and the car, all that really annoying, time consuming stuff - not to mention the fact it was a lovely black, Radley bag. I¡¯m still discovering almost daily things that were in it that I hadn¡¯t realised at the time, from make up to bank statements. The worst thing of all though is that terrible sense of violation. Clearly some light fingered lad, or indeed lass, was in and out of the house in the time it took Ella to get downstairs ¨C although there is little doubt that her barking must have acted ultimately as a great deterrent and that she is a canine of courage, the dog hero who saved the day!
As I said, I¡¯ve changed all the locks and I¡¯m having a burglar alarm fitted even as we speak, but I think it¡¯s going to take a while for me to feel 100% comfortable again in my own home, even with Ella, and that feeling of security is a lot harder to replace than a designer handbag and some credit cards.
The Abominable Snow Patrol Man
- 7 Sep 07, 11:36 AM
According to one preacher from Northern Ireland, I¡¯m taking part in ¡°an abominable and blasphemous enterprise¡±. The comment comes from the Rev Ivan Foster from the Free Presbyterians and the cause of his wrath is a dedicated music centre for Belfast called .
He feels that we¡¯re promoting "filthy 'music' in which the name of the Lord Jesus is desecrated and intermingled with obscenities". And he condemns the Stormont Minister Edwin Poots for taking an interest in the project. Apparently this makes him unfit for office in his own church.
The story broke in the Belfast Telegraph yesterday. You can read it . In response there was an editorial in the same paper, defending the idea of a music centre in the city and supposing that the vast majority of people in Northern Ireland are also supportive of popular music, performed well. The editorial is .
Back in 1993, Ballymena Council banned the arrival of the Electric Light Orchestra, citing the three D¡¯s ¨C drunkenness, drugs and debauchery. Part of me would have banned the act on the grounds that they¡¯re a dreary pastiche of The Beatles with offensive haircuts and beards, but that¡¯s hardly the point. There is great music and bad, just as there are genuinely spiritual preachers and some despicable examples. It is unwise to make a generalisation.
I feel that bands such as Snow Patrol and Ash have made a positive impact on our culture and have been worthy ambassadors abroad. They have shown a side of Northern Ireland that is tolerant and forward-looking, that isn¡¯t obsessed with the past and is not literal or dogmatic. It has taken a long time for our political leaders to approximate this position.
Also, as I wrote on this blog on August 8, I feel that many of the musicians from here actually have a spiritual charge in their music, certainly Foy Vance, Duke Special and Iain Archer. They may not fit into the Rev Ivan Foster¡¯s idea of permissible music, but many others would beg to differ.
Anyone got a DVD of Footloose? I¡¯m inexplicably in the mood for it.
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
What's In A Name?
- 5 Sep 07, 07:04 PM
Some kids are named after great saints, literary heavyweights or much-loved family members. Me, I'm named after a Private Dick.
Let me explain. Back in 1961, when my parents were looking for something to call their first-born, they thought about Trevor. Thankfully, they reconsidered. Instead, they settled on the name of a detective from an American TV show. It was based on a fictional agency in Hollywood, Los Angeles, called situated on a salubrious part of the man drag, between La Cienega Boulevard and Alta Loma Road. And the king of the Strip was Stuart "Stu" Bailey, who solved the toughest cases, brandished his snub-nosed 38 and single-handedly won the Cold War in 206 episodes.
And so I became Stu Bailie. And when I made my first trip to Los Angeles it was a matter of some personal importance to locate this famous joint. Sadly, there isn't a number 77 on the road, as all of the addresses have four digits, but hey, there's a large brass plaque where the action was supposed to have happened. So I stood there and toasted my crime-fighting namesake.
Mind you, I wasn't the first to have made the pilgrimage. In 1975, Thin Lizzy travelled to America for the first time, and Phil Lynott wanted to find the very same location. He was disappointed to learn that the office had never actually existed. However, one part of the story was actually true. In the TV series, Stu's office was next door to a pizza restaurant called Dino's. And this did exist when Phil visited, part-owned by Dean Martin and by then in some need of repair. Typically, the unglamorous truth didn't bother the ever-romantic Phil, who incorporated Dino's into the lyric of his greatest song, 'The Boys Are Back In Town'. And thus, in the popular imagination, every Friday night they'll be dressed to kill, down at Dino's Bar & Grill.
There's a weird circularity in this story as I later became the of Thin Lizzy, and I had to piece this complicated story together by myself. But it was a fascinating and oddly emotional journey to make.
Incidentally, the actor who played Stu was really called Effrem Zimbalist Jr. By way of a bonus, there is a real-life Stuart Bailey in the entertainments business. He's the brother of singer Axl Rose. I wonder what his parents watched on TV, back in the day?
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
Ward Up
- 3 Sep 07, 02:30 PM
Well, Snow Patrol delivered the big anthems at Ward Park, and promised to bring it all home to Bangor every year or so. Apparently, you could hear the guitars all the way to Donaghadee, so I imagine some killjoys are already busy with the blotting paper and the Basildon Bond, demanding an end to this juvenile nonsense.
When the audience wasn¡¯t shouting for Ash and Snow Patrol, the cheers were given over to the goal scoring power of David Healey. It reminds me of Dublin in the late ¡¯80s, when U2 was rising, scores of other acts were getting ambitious and Jack Charlton was leading the soccer team to glory. When the synergy is flowing, you¡¯ve got to savour the time.
I¡¯ve written a gig review on the ATL website. My entire family was at Ward Park, and it was a tonic to see them all loving the event in different ways. No one even minded the traffic jam on the way home. There would be other chances to go chasing cars.
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
Bangor Bound
- 1 Sep 07, 03:01 PM
In a few minutes I¡¯ll be jumping on a train to Bangor, destination Ward Park and the Snow Patrol gig. I¡¯m not sure what to expect or how the town will deal with the influx of 30 000 people, but my guess it that it will be royally mad.
A couple of American girls have just rang from outside the site, asking if I have any tickets for sale. Sorry, all gone. It wasn¡¯t so long ago that Yoshi, a Japanese tourist arrived in Belfast wanting to know where Gary Lightbody had recently been. Then a German publishing house sends a message, to see if the music centre might be included in a guide to the world¡¯s rock and roll landmarks. Unbelievably, we¡¯re all on the cultural map.
Meantime, Hill Street has been a scene of sustained fervour as took up his residency at the Black Box. Many of those same music fans will have witnessed and his clatter of August events at The Empire Music Hall. In the bars, people are whispering of a film project, Belfast¡¯s answer to ¡®24 Hour Party People¡¯. Where will this feverish stuff end?
Tim Wheeler from Ash and Gary Lightbody were in town yesterday, urging the politicians to support our music industry. They were given a decent hearing, and the story made the cover of the Irish News. Nothing seems too ambitious at the moment.
And so a day trip to Bangor has become a stellar adventure.
Stu Bailie presents The Late show on Radio Ulster, every Friday from 10pm until midnight. See his playlist here.
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