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Elvi, Elvi Everywhere¡­.

• Kim Lenaghan
• 30 Sep 07, 09:11 PM

I am utterly ashamed to admit that over the last couple of Saturday nights I have been glued to the telly watching the search for the World¡¯s Greatest Elvis on Â鶹ԼÅÄ 1. Like eating peanut butter with your finger straight from the jar or fancying Simon Cowell, this is one of those secret vices, a guilty pleasure that dare not speak its name. Representing the five ages of Elvis, from the ¡®jailhouse¡¯ to Vegas, I must further confess that my favourite era is definitely that kitchy, campy, chubby, rhinestone studded, white jumpsuited, final fling. As Presley impersonators from every corner of the globe got ¡®all shook up¡¯ in their attempts to be crowned king, I got to thinking that surely there have never been so many pretenders to the title in one television studio. So what would be the correct collective noun for just such a group of Elvis wannabes¡­.

You could have an ¡®excess¡¯ of Elvi, an ¡®ego¡¯ of Elvi, an ¡®obsession¡¯ of Elvi, a ¡®pleading¡¯ of Presleys or even a ¡®pelvi¡¯ of Elvi. In the end I settled for an ¡®embarrassment¡¯ of Elvi ¨C take out of that what you will.

I love clever collective nouns though. Real ones like a ¡®murder¡¯ of crows or an ¡®armoury¡¯ of aardvarks. Then there are the ones that you can¡¯t help wishing were true¡­. a ¡®greed¡¯ of lawyers, an ¡®absence¡¯ of waiters, a ¡®treachery¡¯ of spies, an ¡®amble¡¯ of walkers, a ¡®pomposity¡¯ or professors, or what about a ¡®swelter¡¯ of blankets. I particularly like an ¡®annoyance¡¯ of mobile phones or what about a 'blether' of broadcasters - I know several who would fit that bill!

But if you think you can do better then please do not hesitate to contribute to this ¡®nonsense¡¯ of nouns!

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