Blonde Ambition
- 8 Mar 07, 06:41 PM
I was at the hospital yesterday with my dodgy knee, a cartilage operation is immanent. Before you say a word this has nothing to do with my age ¨C it΅―s an old injury from my youth coming back to haunt me! Naturally, this being the NHS, the waiting room was fairly packed and ΅®the wait΅― a lengthy one. I was trying to concentrate on my book but it΅―s very hard to settle down when you might be called next. So there I was, sitting on the edge of my very hard plastic seat, reading a few lines and trying to surreptitiously size up the other potential patients. Being a joints clinic they seemed to be divided equally into two groups ¨C the sporty types and, well lets just call them the more mature; although since I΅―ve decided that neither of these descriptions apply to me I should declare a third category, ΅®the accident prone΅―.
Anyway, eventually my name was called and I had to run the gauntlet of plastic chair people, each one eyeing me up and down, as I had done myself to the countless others who had gone before me. Just when I thought I was in the clear I heard the killer comment. At the end of the row one ΅®older΅― gentlemen turned to another and said ΅°That must be your woman from the radio.΅± His friend nodded and replied ΅°Aye, it must be. But you know I thought she΅―d be blonde.΅± Blonde, blonde΅.I was stunned! How could I sound blonde? And what does a blonde actually sound like? My poor consultant is talking arthroscopy and the only words I can think of are fluffy, bubbly and silly. Sorry blondes, but while you may have the monopoly on fun you also have a reputation for not being the shiniest pennies in the fountain. I remembered that joke somebody must have told me when I was at school΅΅±What do you call a blonde at university?΅± Answer΅΅°A cleaner.΅±
I tried to think of great blondes from history. When you take out Marilyn Monroe, Mae West and Jean Harlow you΅―re left with Sarah Jessica Parker, Pamela Anderson, Barbara Windsor and, I shudder, Pat Butcher!
So, for the record, and you can check out the picture, I΅―m kind of a red head and I am proud to be classified with Rita Hayworth, Katherine Hepburn and Jessica Rabbit. Mind you, I would have thought that like all those blondes I mentioned, we΅―re probably all naturally mousey brown....and even blonde is better than that! But however much I justifiy my roots the question remains΅do I really sound blonde?
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Don't you put a blonde wig on when you're on the radio to get into character? You should see what way I get fitted out to do some blawging :-)
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Immanent? Surely you mean imminent?
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