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Being a crip may not always be a walk in the park, but Lady Bracknell hadn't realised that it meant we needed special advice about . Neither is she particularly amused by the implications of the statement "despite your disability, I know many of you have some people to shop for". Gosh, imagine that. Regardless of our hideous deformities and vile illnesses, some of us have actually managed to con one or two gullible souls into being our friends. Wow. Go us. That's a Christmas miracle in itself, surely?

So, how should the average crip in the street buy presents? Well, there are three choices, apparently. "You may go out and shop, buy through mail order, or shop online." (Go on, admit it: you'd never have thought of these things for yourself, would you? What with the fact that you're tragically crippled taking up your every waking moment, and leaving you without the capacity for independent thought . . .)

Of course, seeing as how us crips can actually manage all of these methods, this does rather beg the question of whether there's a mystery fourth method which would be a bit too much for us, but would be easy peasy for non-disabled people. (Because, if there isn't, this whole article would be completely pointless. Wouldn't it?)

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