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Chris | 17:07 UK time, Wednesday, 30 August 2006

Chris I hate having to do stuff. I really like the fact that I can go home and sit on my a**e all day watching DVD's. I've worked hard for this life and I deserve it.

Today after I got home I had to return A LOT of phone calls. Most of them business and a few personal calls to friends who are on the brink of giving up on me returning any of their calls. A few calls were Radio One related, some calls though were for Project B which is codename for the thing that I'm not really allowed to talk about. Then after all the calls were done, I had to write some jingles for an emergency vocal session that should be all ready for tomorrow's show (Thursday). THEN .. I had to write this silly blog thing which is why it's almost at the end already.

It's now 5.30 .. and i finished 'work' at 10o'clock this morning!!

3 hours my a**e.

*** STOP PRESS ***

It's now 5.56pm and I have managed to put the television on, only to find that it's the 'poor' version of Weakest Link. You know the one on Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ2 where they have to write their nominations down with a black marker pen. Anyway, I thought I'd update this blog with some more information for you.

As an insight into the life of a Radio One Deejay(!) I will run you through tonight's events.

Shortly I will put some washing on. My cleaner comes tomorrow but she is very slow. It is actually in my interest to wash my clothes (which is easy) so that she can do all the ironing (which I hate) when she arrives. I may also do some dusting as she isn't very tall and can't reach high places like the top of the television or the microwave.

Then I'm going to tidy the living room as I have been using it as a 'dumping' ground for clothes and stuff that I had to take out of the wardrobe so that the men coming tomorrow can take my wardrobe apart, only to reassemble it again but 4 inches further down the wall. (I am SO Rock 'n' Roll)

After that it's a cup of tea and the final episoode of Murphy's Law with James Nesbitt as I missed it last night. And then finally some preparation for tomorrow's broadcast ... which should take place at home, although I do quite fancy a couple of pints!

So that's the showbiz life of Chris Moyles. Tomorrow it's drinking and partying with Colin Farrell and George Clooney ..oh how boring.

Goodnight and god bless.

Christopher Moyles Esq.
x

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  • 1.
  • At 11:01 PM on 12 Mar 2007,
  • Steve Green wrote:

Hiya Chris,this will tell if you read these blogs,if you can get Jon Culshaw to let me have the beard he wears for the Noel Edmond's impression I will donate Β£100 to Comic Relief .I have tried every avenue to contact him to no avail.Ta

  • 2.
  • At 03:24 PM on 17 Nov 2006,
  • wattaray wrote:

Chris- you're funny (how much is it u get paid)- but i save lives everyday working 12 hour shifts in A+E. why can't I get paid like you - maybe that's the real joke.

  • 3.
  • At 07:26 AM on 26 Oct 2006,
  • wrote:

jonny

  • 4.
  • At 06:27 PM on 21 Sep 2006,
  • wrote:

wow. ur funny. u always manage to get me ready for scool in time! thanku my savure!

  • 5.
  • At 09:09 PM on 15 Sep 2006,
  • deano wrote:

love the show sod the music just keep babbling dave droll but funny carrie mmmmmm sounds bloody sexy just looked at doms photo racheal oh yes aled well what can i say lol you well as mad as a hatter keep it goin ten bellies lol
HAPPYLOOLA

  • 6.
  • At 08:21 AM on 13 Sep 2006,
  • james wrote:

hi Chris
Did robbie look good falling over in HD, Great show makes sittting in the traffic enjoyable,notrhing wrong in chillin when you work hard,

  • 7.
  • At 09:15 PM on 11 Sep 2006,
  • Rach wrote:

chris i just had my first day of college and your blog combined with me listenign to the 2 hours of the show that i missed this morning has finally calmed me down.

ive walked for about 2 hours in total today, been given the wrong timetable, had to deal with various late buses and had my college forget to register me for two of my subjects.

thank god for chris moyles. xxx

  • 8.
  • At 03:13 PM on 08 Sep 2006,
  • xEmmax wrote:

Hiya Chris !!

Cant beleive how funny u r !!
Cant wait to read project B been waiting sooooo long for it now !!

cya
xxxxx

  • 9.
  • At 09:27 AM on 08 Sep 2006,
  • ian wrote:

Chris, you are quite funny sometimes - the 'Who Wants To Be A Millionare' spoof the other day was infact hilarious, but, you really must stop plagiarising Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer.
My latest example of this is when you sang the 'Spin the wheel of justice' song with different words for the Killers competition this week.
You have also used the Donald and Davey Stott voices in the past, and never, ever have I heard you or Dave pay respect to Vic and Bob, who you are obviously massively influenced by.
Oh yeah, carefull with the Gervaise-esq humour too.

  • 10.
  • At 10:39 PM on 07 Sep 2006,
  • Paul wrote:

er wots all these kisses from women moyles?.....beatles were abviously rong.......money can buy love ha.

on the plus side....u seem like the most normal one of your team....altho i think mentally im more intune with dave.....arghhhhhhhhhhh

oh and rachel is worth one ha

  • 11.
  • At 05:57 PM on 07 Sep 2006,
  • Jo wrote:

Can't wait to read project 'B' I considered pre-ordering it from Play.com (it's selling for Β£10.99 on there) Has anyone seen it cheaper elsewhere?!

  • 12.
  • At 03:20 PM on 07 Sep 2006,
  • Claire wrote:

Hiya

I have just actually realised how damn funny you are. You make me almost wet my pants on the way to work of a morning. I just wish I talked to you when you came to Aber Uni 2004--instead me and my friend wreaking of alcohol from the night before just stood in front of you(we had your full attention) and just kinda looked at you for a bit then walked off-i think my friend actually went to be sick. You made a point of saying 'hello' and we just ignored you. awwwww

Gutted i never spoke to you! What an opportunity

Claire
x

  • 13.
  • At 03:14 PM on 07 Sep 2006,
  • lOlLy pOp wrote:

wat were u sayin bout work.......?

  • 14.
  • At 12:00 PM on 07 Sep 2006,
  • Louise wrote:

Chris,

Further to your wonderful (as always) show this morning, I thought I would quickly write as you mentioned my other hero "The Hoff"! When you get a bit of free time(!) you should check out a website I found called "dropitlikeitshoff" which is really amusing! I now have many screensavers which pop up hourly whilst at work all containing the Hoff in many different poses! CLASS!!

Keep up the good work - you are a total star!

Lou xx

  • 15.
  • At 08:45 PM on 06 Sep 2006,
  • Jim wrote:

Chris,
I remember when I first thought you were different from other DJs and knew you were going to be successful - It was when you and Dave were brave enough to make a comment or joke then leave silence for a few seconds. Something I guess in the radio world is a sin. You don't do it any more though because you have so many people in the studio with you.....
Keep doing what you're doing Chris - it makes the M4 a far better place!

  • 16.
  • At 08:34 PM on 06 Sep 2006,
  • JASON wrote:

ONE WORD: AWESOME!!!

  • 17.
  • At 03:56 PM on 06 Sep 2006,
  • Rebecca Hurst (17) wrote:

my my Chris, u are a hard worker, can i have work experience with you...seriously?...im not desperate or anything i just thought id try my luck!

Always loving the show though, gets me up in the morning! CHEERS!!

  • 18.
  • At 02:32 PM on 04 Sep 2006,
  • jane kendall wrote:

I'm so glad you and the team are back on in the morning after your holidays. I really miss the program when you all go away. I think Scott Mills is ok in the afternoon but first think in the morning he's a royal pain the the butt!

Keep up the good work you're all brilliant.

  • 19.
  • At 01:09 PM on 04 Sep 2006,
  • theresa shahllari wrote:

Chris,

I just want to say the biggest THANK YOU to you. I have had the worst year of my life - GOT MARRIED September 05 - GETTING DIVORCED September 06. However turning my car radio on to you every morning puts a smile on my face that lasts all through the day right up till i close my eyes at night.

Love you and the team

Take Care
x Theresa x

  • 20.
  • At 01:50 AM on 03 Sep 2006,
  • wrote:

**
Chris, it's lovely to hear your honest yorkshire tone, even if it is only in text form.

I'm in South America having 6 month 'career break' (sodding off and doing what I fancy - which turns out to be mainly going out and drinking. Not so much to this 'finding yourself' thing as you think.)

My problem is that "listen again" doesn't work out here... I dunno why, it's like gurgly underwater radio. Even with my ear jammed against the speaker I can't make out the words. *sniff*

Am looking more and more forward to my fortnight in Miami, (having New Year there on the way back to Leeds - where-else eh?!) because you can bet your life I'll be checking out the ol' Sirius thing. Thank god, no more Spanish crooning in the morning.

You'd better not sod off on Project B before I get back mate.

Miss you in the mornings,

Shirl

check out the url if you like
(cos you've got loads of spare time, right?)

***

  • 21.
  • At 12:06 AM on 03 Sep 2006,
  • wattaray wrote:

The psychiatric patients I work with love your show. I hope that's a good thing. The actual staff (it's hard to differentiate sometimes) couldn't care less what's on the radio, but we are happy the in patients are amused. There is less chance of violence then. Personally I think you could do more by playing more hip hop and jazz. gotta go feed the inmates.

  • 22.
  • At 09:20 PM on 02 Sep 2006,
  • rosie wrote:

chris you crack me up!!! i love the little chris moyles show oh i'm drunk an d myhusband thinks i'm silly for laughing at you so tell him to shut up please his names mark he thinks he's so cool but really he's jst silly!!love ya osie x

  • 23.
  • At 06:42 PM on 02 Sep 2006,
  • amy wrote:

omg chris moyles!! ur brilliant!! lol.

  • 24.
  • At 04:39 PM on 02 Sep 2006,
  • francesca wrote:

CHRIS MOYLES! YOU ARE AN ABSOLOUTE LEGEND!!!!

  • 25.
  • At 02:20 PM on 02 Sep 2006,
  • Natalie wrote:

hey chris
you should get your cleaner on the little chris moyles show, she wouldn't even need to pretend!! :)
and when are we going to be able to download your parodies (especially 'anteater'), they're great and have me in stitches every time!
Keep up the good work ;)
Nat MWAH! xx

  • 26.
  • At 11:15 PM on 01 Sep 2006,
  • steve wrote:

Just signed up with Sirius Radio in New York... your morning show blows away the local shows (with the exception of maybe Howard)... but how come you only do half a day?? all the shows here start between 5.30 and 6.00 am??

  • 27.
  • At 11:42 AM on 01 Sep 2006,
  • angela wrote:

Hi Chris,

I appreciate all your heroic efforts dedicated to the sanity of the nation.
Love Angela.

  • 28.
  • At 10:05 AM on 01 Sep 2006,
  • Abby wrote:

Hi from Sweden, just wanna give you a big THANKYOU for keeping me sane. I've been in Sweden since 1990 and am on the edge of being SWEDISHIZED until about 6 months ago when i started an new job and started to listen to your show via the web, hallelujah...brill.
Raised in Brum, with a Dad from Leeds i need some proper English input on a daily basis and some dry british humour and happily i get my daily dose with you and the gang, when your show finishes i usually listen to all the old podcasts. I listen everyday so give us a shout here in Stockholm.
Keep it up.......the good work, of course.

Regards
Abby (stuck in Sweden) Ramsey

  • 29.
  • At 10:27 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Aiden wrote:

elo chris u ok? i listen to ur show every day at work n luvin it... but wen lemar was talkin about who he was up against in the mobo's e.g sway, kano n plan b, u didnt realy giv them credit n said that lemar will win that easy.. if u play one of sways songs 2 moz on ur show then that could change your mind a little bit lol. any ur show is kwl n il b listenin 2 moz. bi.. Aiden from mildenhall

  • 30.
  • At 10:11 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Suzi wrote:

Seeing as I'm 6 ft tall Chris, may i be your cleaner? I really have nothing better to do! Its embarrassing. Stay cool x x

  • 31.
  • At 09:52 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • David wrote:

You forgot to say about eyelicks! (alex) your nervous electrician coming to do your outside lights

  • 32.
  • At 09:31 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • wrote:

What country does you're cleaner come from? If she's too expensive, I hear the Polish are going cheap!

  • 33.
  • At 07:38 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • marky marc wrote:

get ya cleaner to do your show then you really and sit on your a##e all day and do nothin. mite need a cushion to reach the microphone though

  • 34.
  • At 07:11 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • jeffroidian wrote:

Hello Chris, love your show nice to see you do mundane things as well like washing....well done !!

  • 35.
  • At 07:04 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • adam from the states wrote:

I yelled "Chicken fried rice for everybody!" and got dirty looks from the driver next to me at the stop light. Apparently she's a vegitarian...
Keep up the great podcasts.

  • 36.
  • At 06:42 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Davinia wrote:

Hi Chris,
You don't like ironing i do it for a living GREAT!!!! Your job sounds a lot more fun, apart from the early mornings but i agree you need to rest, get your cleaner a small set of steps save you doing it!!!!

  • 37.
  • At 05:55 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • clare wrote:

Hi Chris.
You should buy your cleaner some nice new shoes with extra high heels on them and insist she wear them when doing your cleaning. Not only will she thank you for the thoughtful present, you won't have to do the high level dusting anymore!
Love the show... xx

  • 38.
  • At 05:07 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Richard Morris wrote:

I could't care less what people say about you sitting on your couch all day. As far as I'm concerned, I wished I had a job like yours so I can sit my backside on the couch all day.

You worked for it, so be it!

  • 39.
  • At 05:04 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Not Chris Moyles wrote:

Helloooooooooooo!

unlike Chris my working day consisted of a whole 2 hours sitting in a car ferrying peeps about. i should be working 12 hours but figured 2 should cover it with a 10 hour break.

Nice a couple of days a week.

Good Show Chaps and Chapesses keep it up, the show that is!!!!

  • 40.
  • At 04:49 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Tom Bailey wrote:

Chris,
I cant work it out, was it you in the Basment Jaxx video 'wheres ur head at'? been bugging me for ages.

  • 41.
  • At 03:52 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • kevin jones wrote:

yo chris it sounds like you do a lot of hard work to prepare for your show and it's the best show on radio

  • 42.
  • At 02:50 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • andy wrote:

You really do earn your Β£630,000 wage dont you

  • 43.
  • At 02:41 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • wrote:

Great Blog.

  • 44.
  • At 01:24 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Po wrote:

Genius.
My mum also cleans before the cleaner comes.... does everyone do that? cleaners must have it pretty easy. Ours seems to just spray air freshner about excessively to borderline suffercation levels and keeps bringing more and more toys in for our new kittens (i think shes planning to kidnap them) effectively cluttering the house even more. Oh yes and shes sings REALLY loudly and badly to crap.fm. I know this because i was hiding upstairs with a hangover and skiving work and she didnt know i was there. ha ha.

  • 45.
  • At 12:47 PM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • wrote:

Oih Moyles...

Sack your cleaner or at least stop bloody cleaning before she get round, otherwise your paying her for nothing.

Don't feel bad though you could trade her in for a very fit Eastern European bird!

Mat

  • 46.
  • At 11:33 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • James Stephens wrote:

That sounds like a great life! I wish I had that. Plus, you get to meet top celebs at work! Fantastic!

You should also watch out for a game called 'Dead Rising' for your generic console, it's awesome!

  • 47.
  • At 09:20 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Ed wrote:

This behind the scenes look into your life has opened my eyes to the extra hard work that goes into to your Rock and Roll life style. All this and you still manage to get in 8 hours of TV a day.

  • 48.
  • At 08:35 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • wrote:

Hey Chris

You asked on Wednesday for someone to register this domain for Aled and to get a page up, so here you go:

Tom, Bristol

  • 49.
  • At 08:22 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • wrote:

Project B has to be "Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!"

If it is... you must be mad, but I shall be watching avidly.

  • 50.
  • At 07:29 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Mark wrote:

put a

  • 51.
  • At 07:27 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Timmy wrote:

Whoo hoo, Chris has fixed the site.. .:)

No more alts...

  • 52.
  • At 07:20 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • wrote:

try

instead of

mg alt="Chris" src="/staticarchive/b500e755df67d358115a6e3c6e3ad095c334a3e8.jpg" width="70" height="70" />

  • 53.
  • At 07:15 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Pete wrote:

*geek alert* heheh - your img alt yadda yadda is easily fixed... All computer-speak-bits-on-the-intarweb like that are started with a < and ended with a > - you've missed off the starting < :o)

It should read (when you type it in) <img alt="Chris" src="/staticarchive/b500e755df67d358115a6e3c6e3ad095c334a3e8.jpg" width="70" height="70" />

Failing that, I'm sure Hoop Dogg can fix it for you ;o)

  • 54.
  • At 07:13 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Jon wrote:

you need to edit the post and add an

it should look like:

  • 55.
  • At 07:12 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Mark wrote:

oic what you mean lol, nightmare m8

  • 56.
  • At 07:12 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • James wrote:

what was project "A" then....?

  • 57.
  • At 07:10 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Watto wrote:

I like the new look of the blog! Nice one Chris.

  • 58.
  • At 12:10 AM on 31 Aug 2006,
  • Jamie (16) wrote:

Back again i jus cant help doing nothing...Today i was washing my hands and thinking about water, then i stumbled across the idea of swimming badges. When we were young we went down to the local swimming pool probably the crap one in fleet to enjoy the verruca fest that was then swimming lessons. At that time i was young and determined to get what i had always wanted, the 10 metre swimming badge. This would separate me from the other simpletons who could only swim with help from a piece of reli foam aka a bouyancy aid. I say foam, but from experience i have normally come across soft foam, this is not the case in swimming pools. The foam there is hardened attack foam designed to inflct serious damage during float wars (aka pirates), where one person would attempt to steal someone elses float. I swear if soldiers took these floats to war iraq and afghanistan would be a trouble free zone. Anyway, the ten metre badge is for a small moment of your life a big achievement. But as we got older and more aware we realised we could spit 10 metres emphasising and learnt how to float erasing the need for swimming 10 metres. We also got too tall for the "baby pool" and also recognised the baby pool mysteriously contained slightly warmer and yellower water than the "normal pool". Once the reason for this difference became obvious the baby pool became out of bounds. Thankfully i never became thirsty in the baby pool or i may never have taken my 10 metre badge. I dont swim anymore.

  • 59.
  • At 11:18 PM on 30 Aug 2006,
  • James wrote:

Good grief, this wardrobe situation is becoming more drawn out than the Pete/Nikki Big Brother 'romance'...

BTW Chris, today's show featured swearing live on air, violence towards women, you attempting to 'buy' the services of a woman, attempting to sell genetic material and three failed attempts at Two Word Tango...whoever said you weren't edgy enough.

  • 60.
  • At 10:52 PM on 30 Aug 2006,
  • Haf wrote:

Wow I also watched Murphy's Law (all three) fantastic thriller and to think you had him on your show - I'll listen again to the show and hang on his every word!

Luv u and the team x

  • 61.
  • At 10:14 PM on 30 Aug 2006,
  • Jamie wrote:

I thought this quotation from dodgeball couldn't be more appropriate. From ben stillers character: White Goodman: At Globo Gym we understand that "ugliness" and "fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.

  • 62.
  • At 09:22 PM on 30 Aug 2006,
  • Emmsybella wrote:

If its any consolation I have been tidying my living room too, with the odd go on my husbands xbox 360 ( i love playing on live its great) although I'm not a superstar like you ive got this to look forward to tomorrow night too!!

love to u and the team x

  • 63.
  • At 09:15 PM on 30 Aug 2006,
  • Matt wrote:

You're so right about the rock and roll lifestyle. Must sure as hell beat working in a Pub.

Ah well, keep up the good work, anyway, Chris.

  • 64.
  • At 07:29 PM on 30 Aug 2006,
  • wrote:

You have a cleaner!

My God

I thought money was'nt an issue with you.

How come you never mention wots-her-face on the blog, you know, your girl.

Also, a big shout out to all the students on the hnc networking course @ Ayr College.

( By the way, you have a problem with your Hyper Text Markup Language (HTML) (Ask Aled)

  • 65.
  • At 07:28 PM on 30 Aug 2006,
  • Rob wrote:

Chris,

Sit back, relax and turn on the xbox 360!!

You work very hard and in life all hard working people deserve a break!!

Put your feet up and call your cleaner to come in today.

Then ask her to rub your feet....

Keep up the good work!!

  • 66.
  • At 07:07 PM on 30 Aug 2006,
  • Mark wrote:

Oh my god, you actually have to prepare for the show :o

  • 67.
  • At 06:09 PM on 30 Aug 2006,
  • Kevan Gant wrote:

poor version of the weakest link

classic

  • 68.
  • At 05:30 PM on 30 Aug 2006,
  • Jemima wrote:

yeah you go lie down have a nap poor love !

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