IN THE WEE SMALL HOURS OF THE MORNING.
So, here's the thing. Every day I...
...wake up and more or less, with little exception this is the thought process geets me.
The first thing I think about is... my wife, then either my mum or the dog, then the big things I have still to sort out in my life, then what I ate and/or drank last night - coupled with a quick belly check and then...well it's like this.
We are indeed creatures of habit and for the past twenty odd years or so, I actually always end up thinking about the same thing. Sex.
Not for a few seconds, not for a fleeting naughty moment or two but from then - until I get up., be at five minutes or three hours.
I always have done and I fear I always will. It's so exhausting. It's like the whole of the rest of my life has been one big distraction to give me some light relief.
So, what about this weather then ?
CLP.
2008.
X.
Comments
Hiya Christof,
Enjoying your blogs, I like your thinking and philosophising.....
Believe me, I have similar thoughts and without beginning to sound sexist it doesnt always apply to men.
Some of us lassies have these lusty moments of contemplation and I have found mine have increased since entering my 30s......
At least it means we are healthy, happy and enjoying life for all its pleasures eh!
Keep up the good work, the show is a work of art untainted by dodgy advertisements!
Lots of Love
Keeley B
What's a belly check???????
HI
I read in a magazine that if you need to boost your sex drive (sounds like chris doesnt!) You need to make sure you think of the best sex you ever had every hour and by the time you get home you will be gagging for it! Quite a welcomed discovery when i have a job and a child and twenty other things! My husband loves that magazine!!!!
I am having a very doing day today, super efficient and healthy! Wish every day was woken up like this!
For me everyday is differnet, once I have gotten over my distress it is time to get up I work out where im dropping my child that day if i will be late for work again, i also check my tummy and thats it day begun!
Please tell me before we know it it will be spring??
em27x
Ah, Christophe, dear Christophe...
It's probably because you have to get up in the night for a pea.
...as they say in husky voices, mushy, mushy...
love
hazel
x
I get the feeling you are restless CLP.
I get the feeling you are moving on.
Your thoughts are vague and drifting.
I think you are going to leave us.
DWNB
So you don't think about sex after you have risen then Chris.
Hi Christof and all the rest of you lovely bloggers,
I can't wait for spring. Especially today - it's not stopped raining. Was it last night the feng shui man was on talking about the right and wrong side of bed to get out of? I've tried both and the usual thing that happens, once I've convinced myself to get out of bed, is I have about half an hour of activity followed by a couple of hours of zombification while my brain catches up with the fact that I'm vertical instead of horizontal. Doesn't make much difference as to which side of bed I get out of...
Belly check for me at the moment is along the lines of "wonder when there'll be a baby in there," but the belly check used to happen in the evenings before bed - you could tell how much I'd had to eat because it showed, bit like a snake!
Pretend it's spring already and grow some bulbs indoors. Narcissus smell lovely and I read somewhere you can get flowers in about four weeks... or you can cheat and buy some bulbs that are already flowering! I'd get some except the husband doesn't like flowers that smell, they set off his asthma... once the cement around the new flagstones has gone off I'll get some to make the new garden look pretty and spring-like :)
Is it still Tuesday? Here's to 5 o'clock :)
xx Jeni
chris your getting your pea count in the way of the rest of your life........a bit raccy for a tuesday....
Must be my eyes one and all
Yesterday was peeing in a bottle. today it's weeing in the early morning. Ooer maybe it's time I got my eyes tested.
I'm told most men think about sex in the morning. Bit like an alarm clock going off really.
Janet Street Porter has just shattered my illusions. I have been using my anti wrinkle cream for nearly a month now and I swear I look younger. Ooer could be the eyes sight again.
Righto off to Specsavers.
Bingo where is the Wrightie Gos. I can tell you that he used to clean his teeth with Vim for that added sparkle!
Alwight or should it be wrong?
Bingo Star ere.
CLP - I'm the same friend, they say 'igh acheiving men ave a igh drive.
I always used ter wake up & spend the next two ter three 'ours flexing me 14 shafts & 'itting me dimbled balls outta the range.
Even though I spent sometimes all morning at it, 'itting it, I could never get the LATE 'IT right - THE SECRET OF DISTANCE IN GOLF!!!!!!!!!!
PS ALL - Ere's me gossip -
I 'eard CLP last Tue at the start of his show say Steve Wright's name followed by 'real name'. Possibly refering ter me blog commentations on the 8th Blog #5.
'ow do we know if this is right that Wrightie's real name is Steve Wright.
Before 'e was Wright 'e could ave been say..... Wrong and as 'e thought Wright sounded right & Wrong sounded not..... right but wrong 'e might 'ave thought the right move was ter change 'is name ter Wright from Wrong.
I don't know blog friends it's just a theory of mine about Wrightie but I don't know if i'm wrong or right about this Wrong/ Wright issue.
Chow!
Well yes the weather is just foul but managed to get out with the dog twice , first time iI got soaked but managed to stay dry the second tiime. Wonder when you will be able to take your flying test?
Every one checks their tummys when they wake up!!!! love Jenn
Chris,
I am not going to allow myself to be tempted into revealing anything about my sex life! Can you imagine how much the pervy lurkers are loving this?!
Now, must confess, got myself all mixed up yesterday over missy/debbie/spice girls. Of course, missy saw them weeks ago, so wishing her a good time last night was just plain stupid, and indeed sloppy of me. Debbie, hope YOU have a great time tonight!
Bingo Star, read your comment on yesterday's blog wishing my daughter a happy 1st birthday. After I managed to get my heart beating again, I realised you had mistaken me for Gingembre!! No worries, but a shock like that can't be good for someone of my advancing years!
Actually, I wonder if a baby would be possible at my age, because I'm definitely still ovulating! Oooh, too much information!
C xx
P.S. Gingembre - hope the birthday celebrations were fun!
Spring appears to be rising in some parts at any rate....
Off to walk the dog in the rain. Poor chap had an operation on his anus yesterday and is so uncomfortable. I'm hoping the walk will raise his spirits.
Lots of uplifting going on!
Jx
PS Hazel Love, thank you for lovely words, brought smile to my face and tears to my eyes!
My old mans the same. You're right its sooooooo exhausting!
Tuned in and bopping away, playing the big bamboo!
M and M xxx
Christophe, non of this is new to me, `cos I get to watch Loose Women, and well need I say more - a woman scorned and all that... forget the peas I want to know more about the police womans uniform, and her having to dress as a..!
Now you hate me... no downt?
Anyways, lets forget all this nonsence, when`s the flight test - G Luck mate.
m xxx
Chris turnip the dog in the rex factor gallery looks more like an Otter hound, instead of a labradoodle .
m
oohh hazel love your a naughty girl.....:)
but...you wear whatever you like......
sides only if D into slightly older ladies ...I think
I might be a 'tad' older than him......
But as one of my friends says age is only
a number..!
On weather ..was in wet Wiltshire at the weekend
saw a guy jet skiing in the fields ..!
X R
x
Ummm, try having a husband serving in Iraq and long, long months stretching between you and the next opportunity????! It's been 3 months already.....
CLP
First thing I think of is normally my intended beau (though he's a long way away)
Luv
Lyndyloo
& Booboo
-x-x-
Hello
Can anyone let me know the best way to make porridge, using porridge, milk and a microwave. and the porridge cant be too thick like glue or too runny - just in between and hot
Thanks
Liz x
...Hump Day has dawned and it snot raining...has to be a first for a few days...hope everyone is safe and dry!
Anyhoo...kismol...BIG VIRTUAL HUGS to you...which in NO WAY AT ALL can compensate for your love being so far away...the Badger has times when he works away, and although he manages to remain UK bound, that's quite hard enough...and when he is about, you'll just have to use bigger peas I guess...or a smaller jar...
Liz, in my experience, there is no way of doing perfect porridge in a microwave. I had to drill a hole to put the milk in the other day...and prior to that, I had to decant a dripping mess into a bigger bowl so as not to spill it...but that's not for here...
Red, I shall definitely be purchasing a new hat of some description...it may do for Lyndyloo too...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
love
hazel
x
ps re les femmes epices...when's boys one?
Morning all :) and no rain! How about that, high time too.
Going to try tim's recipe for chocolate banana bread (8th jan) today, and hope that non-gluten-free flour works just as well...
I miss the husband when he's away for a couple of days - kismol I have so much respect for you that you can cope with yours being away for so long at a time, big love to you. Think the last time the husband and I were apart for any length of time was when we moved to the South last summer - I lived and worked in Manchester and he lived and worked in Sussex and at weekends we'd meet up at one end of the country or the other. Glad it only lasted 6 weeks before I was able to move to Sussex too.
I asked the husband last night what his first thoughts on waking up were, and he replied "give wife a hug" - I was made up!! But it does depend where my phone is - it's my alarm clock too - and if it's not by the bed, and it goes off, the first thought is "If I get to that phone before Jeni I'm going to break it..."
Be careful on the roads everybody, hope the floods have missed you.
xxJeni
Chris,
You are not alone! My husband is 10 years older than me, at 58 he doesn't just wake up with those thoughts that then persecute him all day, I think he has them all night as well. So undoubtedly there is no cure for this, just hope you have married an understanding, compassionate (or should that be passionate) woman) We have been married for 26 years., Maybe I will have to start searching for a nursing home now, then eventually you can all live together, or maybe I should open one?
Either way it is what makes you you, and him him. We will just have to put up with it.
Love She xxx
Wishes Of Well To All,
Bingo Star ere.
ChrissieS - I'm very sorry about wishing your one year old daughter a "'APPY BIRTHDEE" as your right you ain't goot a one year old daughter - BIG 'pologies!!!!!!!
Gingembre - I'm even sorry-er about getting very confused - doesn't take much nowadays for me.
Gin in me blog commentations yesterdee, I mean't ter wish your one year old daughter a "VERY 'APPY BIRTHDEE".
VERY BIG 'pologies!!!!!!!
If it's any consolation CLP live on air wished your littlen a 'APPY BIRTHDEE". About 18.40 on 'is shoe, sorry show!
Got exciting news/ factoid - Ringo Starr iz on Wrightie's show terdee.
I swear on me mothers life this is true -
Plus i've 'ad me mums permission ter write about this ere - My mum used ter go out with Les McQuire aka pianist from Gerry & The Pacemakers.
She was also best friends with Maureen Jopson who was best friends with Maureen Cox - aka Ringo Starr's first wife.
Aswell she was friends with someone called Barry (She didn't know 'is surname/ abit eccentric 'e was too & always dressed 'ead ter toe in leather) - who was a very close friend of Ringo Starr.
Me mum used ter 'ang around The Cavern at rehearsals with Les McQuire. Often The Beatles would say hello to her or chat a little to her - all this just before it all took off & they all became very famous.
Sadly me mum lost touch with Les after they followed The Beatles & went off ter Germany too!
Aye & whatta coincidence me choosing Bingo Star as me blog name - spooky!
Sometimes yer connected ter the other side without realising it - know what am sayin'!!!!
I only learned all this in more detail last night when I mentioned Ringo is on Wrightie terdee & 'ad a chat with me mum about 'er days with Les McQuire.
There's more too but I won't bore yer with it - maybe i'll share it another day. That's if CLP & The BP let me.
Chow!
Sex - perfectly normal and healthy to have those thoughts, isn't it? Will listen to your show with a new gusto now, Chris!
Chris (not Evans - from yesterday) - miaow! Saucer of milk and bowl of Whiskas - Wrightie's not THAT bad!
Jo - welcome!!
Jen - good luck with the pregnancy.
Keeley B - like your style. Do Dirty Thirty's really exist? (Not quite there yet myself but looking forward to it if that's the case!)
DWNB - noooooo! Why Why Why?
Kismal - :( keep strong, chicken!
Happy Hump Day!
Rosie x
Well, if we are name dropping Bingo. This a mix by a friend of mine I met in Ibiza. Sunset over Cafe Del Mar fabulous. His nickname is Eye ball Paul.
Banging tune, know what I mean man.
Hello lovely people,
When I wake up the first thing I think about is the 4 year old sticking his knees in my back. He has this terrible habit lately of waking up in the night and sneaking in between me and Mr Debbie without us even knowing. Doesn't help with the pea jar thing!
The Spice Girls were great, Scary and Geri have got big gobs and Posh seemed a little shy actually and didn't say much. She waved lots though. Sporty and Baby were very sweet. Very predictable I know. I was surprised at all the queues for the restaurants at the venue. We got there at 6.30pm and had to settle for a sandwich out of Starbucks.
It's not raining today hurray. But I'm at work. Doh!
Love to all
Debbie xx
Bingo Star: I thought your comment earlier today was fascinating!
It must have been really exciting for your mum to know all these famous people. Even though it was before Gerry & the Pacemakers and the Beatles found fame - she knew these people when they were just "ordinary". Brilliant! I am sure she must have a hundred stories she could tell - so please give us more!
C xx
Hiya
Been sick for a couple of days but back to nornmal today - the best bit about waking up is lying there planning your day and what you need to do before going back to bed again -
Liz: instant porridge mix - same amount of milk and dust of cinnamon powder - mix and microwave for two minutes - add raisons to mixture and enjoy!
Elm x
Bingo - wow what a story re your mum, tell us more. No worries re the mix up. She's only 1 and doesn't yet read the blog!!!!
I missed the mention by CLP - can't believe it. I was sitting on the ringroad in horrendous traffic when I text in but got home around 6.35, didn't then get the radio on due to the jelly, icecream and varying family members in the house!! Thanks Chris, it has still made my day knowing that you did x
Microwave Porridge - a third of a cup of oats to a cup of milk is enough for one person according to MrsW, a form of covering whilst in the microwave is needed, check it each minute until at your desired consistency.
I have to agree that I do wake up with 'that' on the mind, and it pretty much stays with me until I'm back there in the evening. One glance at my gorgeous wife and......... hey that's not for on here!!!!!
Mind you after a 12 night shift I can't even raise a smile ;)
Speaking of which, I'm off for a kip as I start at 7 tonight and am tired already!
Bonnet de douche
KWx
Yo Gingembre,
Glad yer not annoyed with me for me mix up.
Aye Gin yer can hear yer mention on the internet listen again thingy majig.
It was about 18.42 the mention.
I'd only just got back inter me car after me accupunture & 'eard it. Otherwise I woulda missed it too - know what am sayin'!!!!
Chow!
I don't know just what is going through your head Chris but three blog posts for the same item is a bit on the weird side.
I did enjoy Piers' first episode on Sandbanks last night - I have a friend who is bessie mates with Sandra Redknapp so used to hear all sorts of gossip and I know she loves that house.
Between Peas (sad face) and small hours pillow talk - I wish I was there.... oh okay tash will have to substitute for us all. When are we going to get a tash blog????
Can we have celebrity blog posts on the blog??
Some of your interviews on the drivetime show have had me intriguied, laughing and amused recently. Keep it up.
Phoenix