Lady GaGa - 'Bad Romance'
Lady GaGa does not care if you like her or not. Lady GaGa does not care if I like her or not. Lady GaGa does not care for approval, what Lady GaGa wants is your attention, your bewilderment, your awe. Do not get all mushy on Lady GaGa, or she will beat you.*
Lady GaGa's songs do not exist to please you, why should they? You have to look after yourself when you enter Lady GaGa's world, and if you do not, you may find yourself impaled on a spike. The spike could be made of latex or rubber or stainless steel or shiny plastic or even human hair, but it will hurt like hell and the inevitable pool of blood will make a mess.
Lady GaGa does not appreciate mess, unless it has been made by Lady GaGa.
(Can't show you the video, but it's astonishingly good, in a PEOPLE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN sort of a way)
So, even though I am clearly going to have to dip into my little bag of superlatives for this astonishing song, even though the ChartBlog official view of Lady GaGa and her work has had to shift slightly from "good pop star, 'Poker Face' is great, but..." to "WE ARE TRULY BLESSED TO BE LIVING IN THE TIME OF GA", and even though this overshadows the bulk of music released in a year which has seen some astonishing pop barge to the top of the charts...
...the simple fact of the matter is whatever anyone has to say on the topic is just a tiny, frail childlike hand waving at the massive juGaGanaut which is steamrollering over the entire world.
The amazing thing is that even though all of the above is true, there's still a bleeding, fragile beating heart at the core of this song which anyone can relate to. A song which is about a failing, obsessional kind of passion for someone who is clearly bad news. And it's a passion which is strong enough to reduce GaGa to gibbering nonsense syllables, and speaking in tongues (assuming French counts, of course). These are the best bits of the song, naturally:
"ra ra ah ha ha, roma roma mah..."
It all comes together on the chorus, which arrives like a calming beam of light from on high in the middle of a psychotic episode. All the gibbering and purring falls away and she's left pleading with the object of her desire, while knowing she is doomed to failure. Love has taken her into some new and strange terrain, leaving her lost and scared, and at the mercy of the locals.
Still, now she knows how the rest of us feel. Spike bandage, anyone?
Download: Out now
CD Released: November 23rd
Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Music page
(Fraser McAlpine)
* She will not beat you.
Comment number 1.
At 18th Nov 2009, pinkparadox wrote:Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.
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Comment number 2.
At 18th Nov 2009, harrythedog10 wrote:Good song sounds a bit too much like Poker Face to be five stars for me. By the way does anyone think Gaga looks a bit too thin recently, i watched the 'Video Phone' video with beyonce yesterday and she looks really thin compared to the Poker Face video, it's like a different person.
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Comment number 3.
At 18th Nov 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:Better than some of the other drivel to come off the album .. but its not amazing. I might like it more if it wasnt for the rah rah ra ra rah rah thing. Although I strangely love that bit a bit. The song sparks up a range of emotions in me.
I suppose that is part of her brilliance.
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Comment number 4.
At 20th Nov 2009, flatknees wrote:i agree with everything liam wrote.
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Comment number 5.
At 21st Nov 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:I keep trying to remember this and getting 'Poker Face' stuck in my head. Did she do this deliberately? The thing with her is, I never know.
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Comment number 6.
At 26th Nov 2009, danski46 wrote:Best female singer/songwriter of the current era by a mile in my opinion, I wasn't too keen on this when I first heard it but love it now, as Fraser says the vid is amazing too, she is one cranky lady.
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Comment number 7.
At 26th Nov 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:Best female singer/song writer?
Try Adele, Lily Allen, Amy Winehouse, Duffy (perhaps lol), Amy MacDonald, Little Boots, LadyHawke, Bat for Lashes, Lise Hanningan, Emmy the Great, Florence and the Machine.
Well those are who I got from a quick scan of my iTunes as fantastic female singer songwriters. Lady Gaga is not without talent... but I really dont rate her above any of these women.
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Comment number 8.
At 27th Nov 2009, danski46 wrote:Liam, you obviously don't like her & I do, I did say it was my opinion did I not ? I don't like Lily Allen, some of her songs remind me of Chas & Dave (probs the cockney accent), I saw her Glasto set & she looked nervy & was smoking a fag on stage. Lady G was brilliant.
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Comment number 9.
At 27th Nov 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:Well obviously I was stating my opinion too. I dont feel the need to stick "in my opion", whenever I do. Its a blog, a forum of opinions. So when people post one, often I post one too. Sorry if you felt I was getting at you. Music is a very personal thing and I wasn't judging you.
I'm off to see Lily tomorrow night, I'll let you know how she is!
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Comment number 10.
At 27th Nov 2009, CurtainJerker wrote:I'll settle this. All of them are crap.
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Comment number 11.
At 27th Nov 2009, harrythedog10 wrote:That's a bit harsh CurtainJerker.
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Comment number 12.
At 30th Nov 2009, flatknees wrote:lolacoaster there curtain.
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Comment number 13.
At 6th Dec 2009, Dave wrote:This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.
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Comment number 14.
At 6th Dec 2009, Dave wrote:I think my last post is going to be removed because I implied Lady Gaga may not be a lady. Not sure why this is offensive to be honest, and I'm also not sure why comedians are allowed to make jokes likes this (and indeed, pretty much the same) on TV every week but I'm not allowed to do it on here.
Besides, like I said, JOKE!
Apart from the bit where I said she's crap. Because she is. Truly awful.
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Comment number 15.
At 7th Dec 2009, harrythedog10 wrote:Her performance of this on X-Factor was kind of disappointing, I was expecting her to come down from the ceiling or something but she just stood in a giant bath tub for most it and then played a bit of piano.
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Comment number 16.
At 8th Dec 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:Fergie shotgunned the ceiling equipment.
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Comment number 17.
At 13th Dec 2009, spirit wrote:So Bad Romance goes to NUMBER 1 , and Lady Gaga becomes the first female in UK CHART HISTORY to have 3 NUMBER 1 SINGLES in one year !
Congratulations GAGA !!!
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Comment number 18.
At 13th Dec 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:Rah rah rah gaga lala rah nonsense la.
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Comment number 19.
At 14th Dec 2009, Dave wrote:Too right Liam. If I knew filling a song with complete gibberish would get me a number 1 record I'd have been setting my 2 year old nephew to work a long time ago!
This really isn't good, if its not a "Cowelled" number 1 its some other ear poison!
Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind - One of the best songs of the year, gets to number 2
This - So bad I'd rather have my toes sledge hammered than listen to it again, gets to number 1
How can this happen?!
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Comment number 20.
At 16th Dec 2009, Fionah Simo wrote:5 Starh song ,
I LOVE LADY GAGA!
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Comment number 21.
At 31st Dec 2009, spirit wrote:In Sunday's chart , as Joe and Rage see their sales dwindle , could this be a return to Number 1 for Lady Gaga with Bad Romance ???
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Comment number 22.
At 31st Dec 2009, spirit wrote:This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.
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Comment number 23.
At 31st Dec 2009, thranjax wrote:"Lady Gaga becomes the first "female" in UK CHART HISTORY to have 3 NUMBER 1 SINGLES in one year !"
Possible Olympic athlete style controversy brewing there perhaps Spirit?
Don't the Roman Catholics have some kind of chair with a hole in it for checking the credentials of their Popes? Maybe there is some kind of Pop Equivalent.
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Comment number 24.
At 31st Dec 2009, spirit wrote:OK , if you are gonna play like that at 22 , I will put it another way.
A famous bookmaker is offering odds of 10-1 , for Lady Gaga to announce controversial "news " in 2010 .
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Comment number 25.
At 1st Jan 2009, Bygcat wrote:Fab song! The lyrics r awesome, and her rampage of french at the end is great! Her performance on the Xfactor was great, but I don't see why there was a bath onstage. Was it true that she was going to have butterflies instead? Love all her songs, have the album. Thanx!
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Comment number 26.
At 1st Jan 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:I heard it was going to be doves. Or real life homeless people being flogged by Geisha girls.
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Comment number 27.
At 2nd Jan 2009, thranjax wrote:This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.
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Comment number 28.
At 2nd Jan 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:Or just some bint in a bathtub.
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Comment number 29.
At 2nd Jan 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:Hahaha thranjax feeling the brunt of the mods today.
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Comment number 30.
At 2nd Jan 2009, thranjax wrote:It would seem that Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔless people being flogged is fine, but anything involving the child actor in the Wonder Years being cruel to felines is right out.
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Comment number 31.
At 3rd Jan 2009, spirit wrote:@ 21 ... Lady Gaga has the number 1 single again !!!!
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Comment number 32.
At 3rd Jan 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:@22. Not just me and thranjax!
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Comment number 33.
At 4th Jan 2010, spirit wrote:Yeah @22 . that was technically your fault too !
Regarding my list of albums of the decade , and " could I fit Lady Gaga in ? "
You encouraged me to explain all the strange bets that certain bookmakers were taking odds on in 2010, and I happened to explain the one where Lady Gaga would make an announcement , that she really wasn't "Lady " Gaga .
Can't believe I let u trick me , so now yes , me you and Thranjax , all fell as prey to the hungry mods , who feast on our misguided attempts at family humour .
Happy New Year !
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Comment number 34.
At 4th Jan 2010, BloggingLiam wrote:Apparently you can't speculate anything about celebrities on the blogs :( Whether it be their genitalia, sex tapes or potential on stage antics.
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Comment number 35.
At 6th Jun 2010, BloggingLiam wrote:I must admit I think this song is genius.
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Comment number 36.
At 6th Jun 2010, OddOne wrote:Talk about resurrecting topics, Liam! I personally think 'Alejandro' is just as good but I agree this song has much more going on and far cleverer lyrics, not to mention it's one of the great Lady's best vocal performances.
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Comment number 37.
At 12th Sep 2010, SamuraisShadow wrote:Why does she have an iPad on her mouth?
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