Katy Perry - 'Thinking Of You'
Well, it had to happen sooner or later, I suppose - Katy Perry getting all deep and serious on us. It's not a good idea, of course, because the point of Katy Perry - as much as she has a point beyond that of endlessly working my last nerve - is to be as obviously provocative as possible with tales of ladykissing, homophobia and classy references to menstruation in her lyrics in a way that will delight some people and repulse others. It may not be the most inventive formula in the world, but for a while it was working.
It was certainly working well enough for the Brits to award her the gong for Best International Female, despite her entire output thus far being the musical equivalent of a toddler pulling her skirt over her head and running around the playground screaming "look at meeeeee!" And I suppose she has at least made an effort to keep up the charade in this attempt at a more tender song, because it's about being in love with someone who's not the person you're currently seeing. Ooh! Controversial! She kissed a boy who was not her boyfriend, and she liked it!
(.)
The problem is that trying to do a song that required singing, as opposed to sassing, was never going to work, because Katy Perry is a dreadful singer. I mean, just listen to this song. In an attempt to recreate the breathy tone that a decent singer might use, she ends up huffing and puffing away like a 20-a-day smoker on the last leg of a cross country run. In order to emote, she's created an unsettling staccato effect, not unlike that of Tina Barrett's line deliveries on LA 7, where pausing after every second word seemed to be an acceptable substitute for actually understanding what you were saying.
It gets worse, too: come the chorus and Katy's pronunciation of "I" ("eeeeuuurrrggghhheeyyye") makes Britney Spears' pronunciation of "me" sound positively unremarkable. It's the kind of vocal affectation you see a lot in the early rounds of something like The X Factor or American Idol when someone's trying to disguise their limitations with a bunch of cheap tricks, not quite understanding that just because BeyoncΓ© uses melisma and is a good singer, it doesn't mean that using melisma is the same as singing well.
And before I get branded a hater or anything like that, I'll point out that I thought 'Hot 'n' Cold' was, by and large, pretty fun, despite some utterly terrible lyrics in the first verse. But it's time for the joke to stop now, because it's wearing very thin and the idea that we should take Katy seriously as an artist is ludicrous.
Let's be honest, if someone sang like this to your face, as a midnight serenade, say, you'd scream in horror and run as far away as your legs could take you. And you'd be entirely right to do so.
Download: Out now
CD Released: March 9th
(Steve Perkins)
Comment number 1.
At 5th Mar 2009, Daniel wrote:I completely agree. The lyrics are by and large, awful.
"Like a Ha-Rd Ca-ndy with a Sur-Prise Cent-re". I mean, What?
The one star I'd award this song is probably for the "Looking into your eyes, Looking into your eyes" part which is quite catchy.
Also the end is good. When it finishes.
Dannyboy__
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Comment number 2.
At 5th Mar 2009, Alice_the_goldfish_ wrote:"Like a Ha-Rd Ca-ndy with a Sur-Prise Cent-re"
THAT'S what she's saying? I did not get that.
Yeah, I really don't get the whole Katy Perry thing. 'I Kissed A Girl' was just annoying and not really shocking.
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Comment number 3.
At 5th Mar 2009, Daniel wrote:Yeah, essentially, it's a song about KinderEggs.
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Comment number 4.
At 5th Mar 2009, NOSH33N_x wrote:why is it that you always review ALL the songs in a bad way?..i lovee this song theres nuthing rong with it =] x
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Comment number 5.
At 5th Mar 2009, Fraser McAlpine - wrote:We don't. It's just a bit of a week for under-par singles. We had a massive run of four star reviews a short while back. It's just the way things go in Subjectiveland. Honest!
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Comment number 6.
At 6th Mar 2009, Alice_the_goldfish_ wrote:It's a conspiracy!
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Comment number 7.
At 6th Mar 2009, SteveChartBlog wrote:Besides, I didn't review the song in a bad way, Katy Perry recorded this song in a bad way. Surely we can all agree that the review itself is of superb quality. :)
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Comment number 8.
At 6th Mar 2009, hackerjack wrote:'I kissed a girl' was fun and catchy. 'hot and cold' was a proper decent pop song, nothing else Ms. Perry has done has come close
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Comment number 9.
At 6th Mar 2009, NOSH33N_x wrote:No she didnt record it in a bad way yu reviewed it in a bad way! xx
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Comment number 10.
At 6th Mar 2009, Daniel wrote:The review is good, accurate and well written!
Well done, SteveChartBlog, you may have a biscuit.
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Comment number 11.
At 9th Mar 2009, froggy_22 wrote:1 star is accurate. sounds like shes got a cold
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Comment number 12.
At 13th Mar 2009, thranjax wrote:For one horrible moment when I saw this review I thought it was a cover of the Colourfield song. Thank the lord it ain't so, cos Lord she ain't half bad: she all bad.
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Comment number 13.
At 13th Mar 2009, Fraser McAlpine - wrote:Note For Other Musicians: Think long and hard before attempting to cover 'Thinking Of You' by the Colour Field. You probably won't do a very good job.
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Comment number 14.
At 13th Mar 2009, thranjax wrote:Amen to that.
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Comment number 15.
At 13th Mar 2009, spirit wrote:Thinking of you by katy perry is not worth commenting on!!!!!! BLAND BLAND BLAND !!
Whereas the new EMPIRE OF THE SUN single WE ARE THE PEOPLE is one of the best songs I HAVE HEARD IN AGES!
Anyone else like it ?
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Comment number 16.
At 13th Mar 2009, catman231 wrote:Empire of the Sun reminds me a lot of ELO.
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Comment number 17.
At 14th Mar 2009, XxlivsxX wrote:Is Thinking of You by Colourfield the one that sounds very much like (or perhaps could be) the song they used on the original Sims game? Because I don't like that one either.
I think the lesson to be learnt here is not to write a song called "Thinking of You".
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Comment number 18.
At 15th Mar 2009, thranjax wrote:XxlivsxX I have no idea. Can you post a link to the Sims song and then we can tell you if it is the same one?
This is a link to a youtube of the colour field song:
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Comment number 19.
At 15th Mar 2009, XxlivsxX wrote:I think it's this one it reminds me of:
Looking back it's not as similar as I thought. Brings back amusing memories though, of inventing various new ways of exterminating your Sims with friends. Oh the joys of childhood.
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