Gym Class Heroes - 'Cookie Jar'
'Cool' is not a word I like to use too often. When describing something that's 'cool', I either sound completely unenthused or like I'm trying to be down wiv da kids. But today, finally, I can use it, as no other word will do. Travis, the front man for Gym Class Heroes is cool, very cool. He just oozes 'coolness'.
It's fair to say that if I grew my facial hair to its full capacity, got tattoos on my neck, arms and knuckles, had two bull rings in my nose and tied my hair with random hair-bands in random places I would not be cool. I'd also like to think that if others tried, they would also suffer the same 'uncool' fate. But for some reason Travis pulls it off. No matter what this man does, he will always be cool...
...which is probably why he's managed to get away with releasing Cookie Jar, one of the weirdest songs I've heard this year.
Musically the song isn't that different to their previous catalogue. The mix of Hip-Hop and rock that Gym Class Heroes produce always makes a nice sound, but I just can't get over the bizarre rap. The lyrics sound like something a group of 13 year old boys would make up at break, in between Food Technology and Biology.
Maybe I'm being a bit harsh. Some may say Gym Class Heroes have succeeded in being very inventive in their approach to producing this song. I mean... for years we've had to listen to misogynist hip-hop artists glamorise their adulterous lifestyles with unimaginative lyrics, but Gym Class Heroes have shown that you can dehumanise and degrade women in a unique and original way.
Who would have thought you could compare women to the variety of cookies found in the cookie jar? Gym Class Heroes claim their female conquests include 'Butter Pecan Puerto Ricans', 'Oatmeal Raisin Asians', 'Hazelnut Brazilians' and 'Macadamia Caucasians'. They are also fond of women who they compare with 'double stuffed or thin mint' cookies. But as they so eloquently put it, it doesn't matter what your cookie tastes like as long 'as you getting it' apparently.
Seriously though, I have no idea what possessed them to release this as a single. Maybe they want to encourage anyone who can rhyme to have a go at writing a song.
Unfortunately, as much as I've slated this song, I can still see it doing quite well in the charts. Not because the song is any good, but because no matter what comes out of the mouth of Travis, people will still love it because he is unbelievably cool.
CD Released: September 8th
PS I have used the word 'cool' 10 times in this review. That must be some kind of record.
(Grant Black)
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