Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ

This includes you, Cheryl Tweedy. What you're doing here does not say "OH MY GOD, I FLIPPING LOVE KIT-KATS, ME.", it says "so you're saying that people actually EAT this stuff? Golly, I am glad that my celebrity lifestyle keeps me from such ghastly things. I shall have to tell my good friend Victoria Beckham about this".

Yes, Sarah, that's close to what you need to do in order to discover the hidden delights within. Sadly, you've still not quite got the hang of where these delights may be and how you get to them. Keep trying, and let us know how you get on...

Mind you, Girls Aloud aren't the only choc-toting celebs who don't seem to know what the hell the thing in their hands is for.

Eva here, who will advertise literally ANYTHING IN THE WORLD, is holding this Magnum as if she's just looking after it for a friend. A fat friend. A fat friend who has asked her to hold the Magnum while he or she eats another Magnum. Eva is a little unsettled at the speed with which her fat friend is eating, and then someone has asked to take a picture of her, and now she's worried that if she even looks at the Magnum, she's going to become fat herself.

Hardly going to generate a massive run to the newsagents for those gullible Desperate Housewives fans, eh?

And now, the most choc-confused pop-related choc advert ever...

OK, so someone has told her how to open the damn thing, but it still doesn't make this pleasant. She clearly thinks there's going to be something sexy inside too, and she's pleased about this. She may even want you or I to be involved in some way...and who needs that thought in their heads? It's WRONG! SICK AND WRONG! I NEED TO LIE DOWN! WAAAH!

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Thanks to Anna Mccleery from Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Switch for the pics, and the idea, and most of the words, and allowing me a nice nap. The rest was ALL ME...