Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ

There is something about this trio of chipper, ironic, slightly-too-clever-for-their-own-good piano-pop people that really gets up people's noses. No less an authority on modern popular music than have them at the very bottom of their list of things they like, which makes them a thing which they do NOT like. At all. This despite the continuing existence of empirically evil things such as world hunger, unfair trade, cars splashing pedestrians with muddy puddle water, and Nickelback.

And this song isn't going to do anything to get them any closer to the top of that list. It's the same stoppy-starty jitter rhythm as the stoppy-starty bits in 'She's So Lovely', and the same lyrical smart-arsery as 'Elvis Ain't Dead'. But what it lacks is The Scouting For Girls Moment.

The Scouting For Girls Moment is the bit in a song of theirs during which the listener goes from being entirely disassociated with what's going on - maybe even slightly huffy at having to sit through one of their tunes in the first place - to being covered in goosebumps and entirely won over. It doesn't happen for everyone, but it does happen.

The Scouting For Girls Moment in 'Elvis Ain't Dead', for example, is the bit where Roy howls "but I wish it was MEEEEE" with genuine broken-heart passion. In 'She's So Lovely', it's the "I don't know, I don't know" bit, where again, he sounds a bit lost. It's the bit where the blokey, matey "look at me, fellas, I'm writing a pop song!" facade drops away to reveal something organic and bloody underneath.

But there isn't a moment like that here. All we're left with is a song in dire need of a heart transplant.

Oh, the irony!

Download: Out now
CD Released: April 7th

(Fraser McAlpine)