Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ

Β« Previous | Main | Next Β»

Timbaland ft. Keri Hilson & Nicole Scherzinger - 'Scream'

Post categories:

Fraser McAlpine | 10:30 UK time, Monday, 3 March 2008

Nicole - plus sockYou do have to wonder about the self-esteem issues of the man who hires two of the Pussycat Dolls to be in his new song, and then gets them to appear in his video wearing balaclavas. HE isn't wearing a balaclava, it's not like balaclavas are the new hot fashion item for women, or that Nicole and Keri look particularly amazing in balaclavas. So, is the only reason they're in balaclavas somehow related to making Mr Baland (unfortunate surname, donchathink?) look better?

I'm not suggesting that Timbaland is a repulsive example of humanity, by the way, but maybe he's not that sure of his own looks, and was worried that he has somehow lowered the average level of human hotness within his own video. Now, you and I know this is nonsense. We also know that if he was serious about sorting this problem out he would put the balaclava on himself, and maybe a Justin Timberlake mask too. Hell, why not go the whole hog and get Justin himself to come and appear on one of his so...oh yeah, he did that.

Anyway. Having a good think about the things to do with this song which should be sexy but are not, is not as irrelevant to the song itself as you may think. Especially when you consider the lyrics, which attempt to say "we should totally do each other, right here, right now" in a variety of different ways, some more succesful than others.

Take this charming example...

LADYVOICE: "Can i have some of your cookies?"
MANVOICE: "Can I have some of your pie?"

Which is fairly basic, entry-level double-entendre. I say DOUBLE-entendre mainly for the cookies bit, which is a new one on me, if nothing else. Sadly, the pie part has been used so often that there can't really be anyone who thinks our Tim is asking for a dessert of any sort.

Then it all goes very weird, as an over-excited Tim goes on to purr: "May I cut the first slice?"

Now, I have no idea what this may mean in the context of doing rude things with a lady of your choice. But it's not really sexy. Any more than saying "I've got my special cake-fork out, the one with the extra-wide prong at one end" would be. It sounds like it could possibly mean something else, but is actually so rooted in cake-based things that it just sounds daft.

And then there's the bit later on where Nicole tries to make flirty with this devastating couplet:

"And you're the designated driver, yeah
I'm not afraid, 'cause I'm a rider, yeah"

We've all been there, your hot crush is out with his/her mates, and you want to find a way to suggest to them that if they wanted to, they could probably snuggle up to you and you'd be totally fine with it. And the one thing you've noticed is that your hot crush is drinking orange juice. Time to dust off the Timbaland 'designated driver' chat-up line...it never fails!

In summary: If he wasn't such a dab hand with the mad production skills, you'd be forgiven for concluding that Timbaland is something of a nerd, sexually speaking. And no, not like Pharrell Williams...

Four starsDownload: Out now
CD Released: March 3rd

(Fraser McAlpine)

Comments

  1. At 04:12 PM on 03 Mar 2008, Jordan wrote:

    When I began reading this review, I got the impression you thought the song was weird, which is what I thought when i first heard it... but now I've heard it a lot, i actually quite like it, and noticing your rating, was quite surprised after what you said in the review.
    But what you say is true, and the creepy groaning from "Mr Baland" puts me off the song at the end, and I usually just skip to the next song.
    The main part of the song is good though.

    [I just like to keep you on your toes. It's got a good chorus, see. - Fraser]

  2. At 04:57 PM on 03 Mar 2008, Sarah wrote:

    Those are nerdy chatup lines. They sound like the sort of thing someone would say is they tuaght themselves how to write 'BADA55' on their scientific calculator.

    Not that I would know how to write that on a calculator!

    [Your secret is safe with us, Sarah. - Fraser]

  3. At 08:12 PM on 04 Mar 2008, katstevens wrote:

    Um dude, Keri isn't in the Pussycat Dolls. Well, unless she's joined in the last ten seconds or so and no-one's updated wikipedia yet? Which is entirely possible.

  4. At 10:03 PM on 04 Mar 2008, Leanne wrote:

    Someone didn't do their research on the Keri thing lol (that is her not being a Pussycat Doll) XD

    [I did think it was a little odd that there could be two members of the Pussycat Dolls singing together, bearing in mind only one member of the Pussycat Dolls ever really did any singing. Also, according to Wikipedia, Keri Hilson does actually appear on some Pussycat Dolls songs. This doesn't make her a member, obviously - I'm still clearly an idiot for thinking that - but it's comforting that I'm not THAT wrong. Kind of. - Fraser]

  5. At 02:39 PM on 05 Mar 2008, Leanne wrote:

    Yeah she co wrote Wait A Minute for them (from Wikipedia lol). It was an easy mistake to make though, since most people dont even know what their first names are :D

    Plus, only Kimberly doesn't sing out of the 6 of them (Ashley and Jessica do backing vocals, and Nicole, Melody and Carmit do the main ones).

    [Hmm... Not convinced by that last paragraph, but you were right about everything else, so OK... - Fraser]

  6. At 08:41 PM on 05 Mar 2008, Leanne wrote:

    Lol I have the urge to argue but I think im fighting a lost cause :D

This post is closed to new comments.

Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ iD

Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ navigation

Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Β© 2014 The Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.