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The Spice Girls - 'Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)'

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Fraser McAlpine | 10:25 UK time, Saturday, 10 November 2007

Spice GirlsOh very clever girls. If your first comeback single is for Children In Need, it means it's totally impossible for anyone to make any kind of assessment of the musical worth without coming across like Scrooge had a baby and he called it BeelzeBlog. Well it won't work, I tell you. You can't buy my journalistic integrity with obvious do-goodery like this, OH NO! My journalistic integrity can be bought with many things - kindness, money, sweets, someone asking politely - but not like this. I have standards to maintain, after all.

Which is an oddly relevant point to begin an examination of this song. It's clear that the brief for a Spice comeback tune was to come up with something which reminded people of past glories, but didn't scare anyone, and, at the same time, it needs to sound modern and NOW.

It's a bit like Take That coming back with 'Patience' when they already knew they had 'Shine' in the bag. You need a song for the people who used to be fans, but who've drifted off into their lives while you've been away. Then, once they love you again, you can hit them with how much you have changed. That's just good manners.

If you want visual proof, look at the video, despite all of that work on Dancing With The Stars, all those new skills amassed in the intervening years, why is Melanie Brown STILL doing that backwards wind-a-bobbin-up dance? It's just to keep the memory of Scary Spice alive, even though the only person who finds her at all frightening these days is Eddie Murphy.

So, if you're the Spice Girls, your comeback needs to be a ballady song - a bit like '2 Become 1' or 'Goodbye' - which makes liberal use of the trademark SpiceBallad acoustic guitar twiddles, and, if you can stretch to it, some more of those brilliantly preposterous lyrics, just like you used to do.

And by GOLLY they've delivered. You can actually sing 'Goodbye' over this without too much melodic trauma, their guitarist is clearly pleased to be able to buy his family dinner again, and listen to those lyrics: "I hold on to my hero with faith enough to fly", "the power to imagine will keep this love alive", "we fall into the future, and through the looking glass" .

You can really TELL these words were not written by Alex Turner, can't you?

My personal favourite is "I wanna tell the world I'm giving it all to you", just because it's a pretty funny line coming from five girls who have spent the last 11 years having their every minor fling splashed across the tabloids before the stubble-rash has faded. They really don't HAVE to tell the world who they're giving it to, that's what the Sun is for.

Anyway, great to see you again, ladies. It's always nice to see an old flame doing well for themselves. Can't WAIT to hear the total genius new direction your other songs will have taken.

You did write some totally genius new songs, didn't you, girls?

Three starsDownload: Out now
CD Released: November 19th

(Fraser McAlpine)

Children In Need

Comments

  1. At 05:01 PM on 11 Nov 2007, ruth wrote:

    This song really SUCKS BIG TIME!!!


    BAD COMEBACK SONG... Nice TRY GIRLS BUT Ughhh

    Its so lame and hard hitting Flop Flop flop single

    get some tip from Britney Girls

  2. At 09:05 AM on 12 Nov 2007, wrote:

    I love the fact that no-one (except me obvs) has even bothered to comment on this song. People just aren't interested.

    I've only heard this song once, and considering I listen to alot of radio and watch alot of music TV (admittedly they are unlikely to appear on Scuzz or Kerrang!) that's quite worrying for the girls. I note they are on Radio 1's 'C list', which means they get played, what? like once a day?

    It's not hard to see why no-ones interested, the song is just abit. . . poo, to be honest! That was a technical term of course.

    I'm genuinely worried for the girls. . . and the touts that bought up all the tickets for their comeback tour and (after some investigation on ebay) will be lucky if they break even. . . WAIT! What am I talking about, I hate touts! I'm not worried about them at all!

  3. At 10:01 AM on 12 Nov 2007, wrote:

    It's a bit like the last five minutes of your mum and her sisters on a hen night.

    And how come Posh is now the Scary one [shudder]?

  4. At 10:31 AM on 12 Nov 2007, SarahLH wrote:

    Part of me says that this is a nice, quiet song released purposefully to avoid the Spice Girls (girls? whatever! they're all in their 30s!) overreaching themselves and peaking too soon. And is for charity right? You can get away with all sorts so long as its for charity.

    The other part of me says, this song is a lame duck (and one that obviously has problems with recurring gout!).

    They really have some work to do.

  5. At 10:44 AM on 12 Nov 2007, SarahLH wrote:

    Part of me says that this is a nice, quiet song released purposefully to avoid the Spice Girls (girls? whatever! they're all in their 30s!) overreaching themselves and peaking too soon. And is for charity right? You can get away with all sorts so long as its for charity.

    The other part of me says, this song is a lame duck (and one that obviously has problems with recurring gout!).

    They really have some work to do.

  6. At 02:23 PM on 12 Nov 2007, Alex Dack wrote:

    I think that the song is good but the video has no relevence, i dont see why they had to take off their clothes down to their underwear epecially in this SIZE 0 obsessed World. Taking into account that its a children in need song, the Spice Girls should have known better!

  7. At 04:09 PM on 17 Nov 2007, wrote:

    IT BORING!!!!!!! :(

  8. At 07:40 PM on 18 Nov 2007, ~Rachel~ wrote:

    Is it just me, or does anyone find they read the title of this song as 'Headlice'...if you look at it too quickly...? It's the mental echo of 'Spice', just beforehand, I suppose!

    (It IS just me, isn't it...)

  9. At 06:43 AM on 22 Nov 2007, David Nicholl wrote:

    I was disappointed when I heard this song. I expected a ballad but it's not even a very strong ballad. Emma and Melanie C sound really good on it but it doesn't really wow you. It's grown on me a little but it's still a bit unimpressive and a big anti-climax for the triumphant return of the most successful Britsh girl group,

    If they do release another single, I hope it's a bit more upbeat or a really strong ballad (similar to 2 Become 1, Viva Forever, Goodbye).

  10. At 02:41 PM on 13 Dec 2007, jay wrote:

    yh hi my nan said to me today that she heard somewere that the spice girls were singing bad songs is that true if anyone could get back to me that would be great

  11. At 05:39 PM on 13 Dec 2007, wrote:

    Jay, I'm afraid your Nan was right. Nan's always are. The Spice Girls are singing bad songs. I'm sorry.

  12. At 06:35 PM on 30 Jan 2008, Freddy wrote:

    I love this song. Just great lyrics. A nice video could have made the song worked, though.

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