ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ

Β« Previous | Main | Next Β»

How To Destroy...Pink

Post categories:

Fraser McAlpine | 18:02 UK time, Tuesday, 18 September 2007

How To Destroy Pink

NOTE: They say the pen is mightier than the sword, and here's proof. If you attacked Pink with a sword, she'd kick your knackers clean off, and then use the sword to do what the Vikings used to call a 'blood eagle' (please don't look this up, it's extremely unpleasant and should never ever be attempted by anyone ever, including any leftover Vikings). But wave a pen in her direction and she's like putty in your hands. Hell, this isn't even the only way to destroy her. How about a nifty equals sign in between the 'Pink' and 'Stupid Girls' on her single 'Stupid Girls' (and crossing the 's' out), so it reads 'Pink = Stupid Girl'? Eh? That's some satire right there? She'd be CRUSHED!

SECOND NOTE: Please don't destroy Pink unless it's absolutely necessary. It's not nice.

Comments

  1. At 06:12 PM on 18 Sep 2007, Kat wrote:

    Nice praisey comment time!!

    This rocks.. my favourite how to destroy for a long time :)

  2. At 07:00 PM on 18 Sep 2007, wrote:

    I know what a blood eagle is. But the thing is, a blood eagle is one of two possible things, historians aren't sure which one it was because it was so long ago. But anyway, enough of the nerdiness. I hate pink. I think we may have another street team war on our hands, and this time we'll be totally prepared! Hell yeah! Wow...I am such a loser!

  3. At 08:17 AM on 19 Sep 2007, wendy wrote:

    my name wendy and i want to be an actor when i older can u make me be one plzzzzzz xxxxx

    [Well alright then. *clears throat* WENDY! BE AN ACTOR WHEN YOU'RE OLDER. OR ELSE! How was that? - Fraser

  4. At 09:13 AM on 19 Sep 2007, wrote:

    While it is true that the practice has been rejected by certain academics who think it is entirely based on folklore and later, poor, translations, no-one denies that the blood eagle was definitely part of the Old Norse vocabulary. These are the same historical revisionists who try to mould all human history into their own predefined notions of 'humanity'. Something that makes the 80% Viking DNA coursing through me want to rip their lungs out.

    But none of them has come up with a better translation of the ßÑttr af Ragnars sonum than;

    "They caused the bloody eagle to be carved on the back of Γ†lla, and they cut away all of the ribs from the spine, and then they ripped out his lungs."

    Oh, and Pink rocks (ever so politely), so leave her be.

  5. At 03:00 PM on 19 Sep 2007, Lisa wrote:

    Hey, I'm Norwegian and I have no idea what a "blood eagle" is...

  6. At 03:31 PM on 19 Sep 2007, wrote:

    Wow a Norwegian! If a real Viking doesn't know, then who does?

  7. At 08:31 PM on 19 Sep 2007, yodelling horse wrote:

    ewww I looked up "blood eagle" why oh why did you have to use that??? ewww!!

    [I TOLD you not to look it up. Don't blame me! - Fraser]

  8. At 09:57 PM on 19 Sep 2007, dodger wrote:

    i know, gross right?

  9. At 03:10 PM on 20 Sep 2007, Lisa wrote:

    Great, now I'm gonna have to go and look it up to... People are questioning my Viking skillz...

  10. At 03:17 PM on 20 Sep 2007, wrote:

    i hate being in the dark.. im going to have to wiki blood eagle, wish me luck

  11. At 05:41 PM on 20 Sep 2007, wrote:

    Kerri: There is no need to look it up. Lisa, our very own Viking will explain all.

  12. At 07:39 PM on 20 Sep 2007, dodger wrote:

    viking?

  13. At 09:05 PM on 20 Sep 2007, wrote:

    bad luck i already wikied it. its not very nice sounding but wiki dont exactly go into graphic detail, its not THAT bad, not like youve been making out, well, im sure it is in reality but in plain text its ok, or am i just strange? :S

  14. At 03:16 PM on 22 Sep 2007, Lisa wrote:

    That's *it*?? I was expecting much worse. Anyways, I much prefer the whole toasting-in-your-enemies-skulls thing. SkΓ₯l, everybody! :)

    [Er, you do know the person is still alive when they do it? I mean you can do anything you like to my skull when I'm dead, I won't care, but if you pull my ribs out of my back while I'm still alive...well it's going to sting a bit, isn't it? - Fraser]

  15. At 03:43 PM on 23 Sep 2007, Lisa wrote:

    Oh sure, it's an absolutely *heinous* act, that wasn't my point, I just kinda agree with Kerri - I thought the wiki entry was gonna make me faint or something.

    And maybe the fact that I prefer toasting my fellow warriors in your skull makes me a nicer sort of Viking, hmm. :)

This post is closed to new comments.

ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ iD

ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ navigation

ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ Β© 2014 The ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.