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Rihanna - 'Shut Up And Drive'

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Fraser McAlpine | 10:30 UK time, Saturday, 11 August 2007

RihannaI don't want to come across as some kind of pervert here. This would a dreadful thing to do for someone in my position, after all. The Daily Mail would petition the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ for my immediate sacking, hordes of vigilantes would mass outside my house, with flaming torches and big signs saying "OWT PEEDO SKUM!", and it would take FOREVER to get the lawn back just the way I like it. So, it is with a great deal of caution and fear that I stand before you and I say the following...

*deep breath*

I don't think this is a song about driving at all.

*deeper breath*

In fact, I think it might just be a song about...rudies

*superblush*

(Here's Rih performing the song at Radio 1's One Big Weekend in Preston, earlier this year. Interesting how she calls this her "second single 'Shut Up And Drive'". I've no idea what she can mean by this. It's not her second single, and if she's had another single out called 'Shut Up And Drive', I don't remember it...)

OK, I've checked the perimeter of the property, and I'm pretty sure I can hear dark rumblings, far off, on the other side of the horizon, and they don't sound friendly, so I'm going to have to dash this out very quickly and then flee for my life.

Basically, this is New Order's 'Blue Monday', given a fuzz-guitar makever, with that lyric over the top which takes everything which is to do with a car - curves, going from 0 to 60, Tim Westwood - and pretends that these words are actually sexual. "Curves" meaning like a lady's curves, "0 to 60" meaning going from not making sexy to making sexy in record time, and "Tim Westwood" not really making an appearance in the song at all.

Interesting how the verses to 'Maneater' get re-used here as the bridge to the chorus too.

This isn't going to be the hit 'Umbrella' was because, well, it's not as good. It's still good, mind, but not AS good. And it's a bit silly and frothy where 'Umbrella' was glassy and huge. Nevertheless, it's gonna do well, until the secret of the dirty lyrics comes out, that is. Then there's gonna be HELL to pay.

Now, I've said all I have time to say. Goodbye! See you when the heat has died down...

Three starsDownload: Out now
CD Released:
August 27th

(Fraser McAlpine)

Comments

  1. At 12:31 PM on 11 Aug 2007, Roxy wrote:

    I think you're right this song has NOTHING to do with cars......;)

    I mean her engine's ready to explode and there's no mention of a mechanic. This song has so many rudie references you'd think the words were written by Jodie Marsh after a few double vodkas ;)

    I think it's a safe bet that I won't hate this song as much as I hate Umbrella ella ella eh eh....

  2. At 01:22 PM on 11 Aug 2007, Kat wrote:

    Maybe she just forgot that there was a time before 'Umbrella' :P easy to do.. after all I can't even imagine not having heard that song.

  3. At 02:25 PM on 12 Aug 2007, Rosalind wrote:

    I definitely agree! 'I If you can baby boy then we can go all night'? 'Got all the drive but a whole lot of boom in the back'?

    ahem

  4. At 05:50 PM on 12 Aug 2007, RUBY wrote:

    this song is funny - i like it
    x

  5. At 06:15 AM on 13 Aug 2007, Ben wrote:

    Oh go on! It's a bit better than 3 stars. The whole "Baby you got the keys.... now shut up and DRIIIIVE" business alone qualifies it for 4, in my view.

  6. At 09:19 AM on 13 Aug 2007, wrote:

    Sorry, but you're completely and utterly wrong.

    I've been watching the video on repeat for several days now and it's obvious to anyone who knows about cars, that Rihanna is simpkly re-enacting her otherwise hidden past as an apprentice mechanic.

    She can certainly tell her flange from her flimsocket and looks as though she knows what to do with a tool in her hand.

  7. At 04:09 PM on 13 Aug 2007, aimie wrote:

    well i watched the making of the video n it myt cum across lyk dat t sum of yuu but wha she was actuali intentin on it to b lyk . . .
    say yuu hav a guy n he a bit big headed n tries t prove yuu wrong shes basically sayin yea, yea yuu told me that already so shut up n show me wha ur made of.

    thats wot she ment lol xxxx

  8. At 04:12 PM on 17 Aug 2007, Leanne wrote:

    Thats a bit unfair, 3 stars. I think it deserves to be at least a 4 star song.

  9. At 07:27 PM on 23 Aug 2007, wrote:

    What's perverted about that?

    Anyway, presumably if she now has a lift, she doesn't need an umberella anymore and can stop banging on about it endlessly on local radio.

    John

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