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Natasha Bedingfield - 'Soulmate'

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Fraser McAlpine | 11:37 UK time, Monday, 25 June 2007

Natasha BedingfieldAlright, everyone stop what they're doing and put your hands on your heads. Yes, you! Hands on heads please. I want all pens down, and I'm perfectly happy to stay here all day until we get to the bottom of this... All quiet now? Good. Now, WHO has upset little Natasha Bedingfield? Last I knew she was happily playing with her baby dolls in the quiet corner. Well I say HER babies, she snuck up on Simon Simpson and asked if she could have HIS, but still... She was giggling and humming to herself, and NOW look...

She has been sitting behind the bookshelves for the past TEN MINUTES, just rocking backwards and forwards and wailing that she's got no-one to play with. And NOT ONE OF YOU took the time to pop over and ask if she was OK. That's SHAMEFUL BEHAVIOUR...the poor girl has clearly got a lot on her mind. Would it have KILLED you to have told a grown-up, at the very least?

And I don't know why you're looking so pleased-with-yourself, Simpson, you may have got your doll back, but you weren't really playing with it in the first place. LEARN TO SHARE, PLEASE! You're all going to have very sad and lonely lives if you don't learn how to look after one another...

...oh no, Natasha, I didn't mean YOU. I'm sure you're going to have no problem finding someone to share your things with, don't cry now...here's a tissue, now clear up that snotty face, eh? How about a little smile? No? OK, you just sit here and have a quiet moment until you feel like re-joining us...

As for the rest of you...I'M WATCHING YOU. Now, PLAY NICELY!

Four starsDownload: Out now
CD Released:
July 2nd

(Fraser McAlpine)

Comments

  1. At 11:58 AM on 25 Jun 2007, Sev wrote:

    That's one WEIRD review... But I guess the song is good, since you put 4 stars !

    [Don't guess, listen to it. All will become clear. - Fraser]

  2. At 05:56 PM on 27 Jun 2007, cocteau twin wrote:

    i Natasha's head it probably sounds very grown up and reflective. However, to my ears its sound vile rather like buying a choc-Ice on hot day only to find it contains bits of glass. That said other shallow simpletons will buy it and if she is very kind she might buy her brother a meal. He's not very popular anymore ...That Showbiz folks!

  3. At 09:25 AM on 28 Jun 2007, jess wrote:

    This review is just mad!!

  4. At 11:24 AM on 30 Jun 2007, emily wrote:

    heya loving this vid lol
    love you allllllllll
    x

  5. At 11:56 AM on 30 Jun 2007, ~Rachel~ wrote:

    Cocteau twin...WHAT? How can you say it's shallow? The thoughts in it are certainly not original, but that doesn't make them any less strongly felt, and that comes across, I think.

  6. At 01:56 PM on 12 Jul 2007, peter wrote:

    What a load of childish drivel I f you're going to write a review, please make it constructive and formative. What a load of crap! get yourself some better reviewers, you bunch of a***holes!

    Daniel B

    [How are we defining the word 'formative' there? With regard to opinions? The song? What are you expecting a review to construct and form? Wings? I'm with you on the 'childish drivel' though. - Fraser]

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