Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ

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[It starts in the lobby of a hotel on a blustery day. Having just completed the readers' questions interview outside, Chartblog gathers a bag of things together, and covers Andy's head with her scarf. Andy's tour manager Rob is nearby, and very amused.]

Andy: She's taken her clothes off. She was out there on the bench and started taking her scarf off!
ChartBlog: That was in no way seductive.
Andy: Haha OK. Do I need to take my sunglasses off?

ChartBlog: Yeah but we'll put them back on over the top if you like.
Andy: Rock star look, how's that?

ChartBlog: Are you sure you can't see?
Andy: I can't see a thing! I'm playing fair. I wouldn't want to make it...did someone just tread on my foot? See how sensitive I am? [Listens] OK, something just fell down.
Rob: You can see!
Andy: No! I'm just telepathic. Right, hold some fingers up.
Rob: OK, how many fingers am I holding up now?
Andy: Three? Two? You're not holding any up? Five?
Rob: Yeah, I wasn't holding any up.
ChartBlog: OK, I believe you.

ITEM 1: The stuffed monkey in the picture at the top of the page.

Andy: [Feeling it] It's a teddy. have you got a camera cos I'd love to show people what I do for a living! I'd like my dad to see a clip of me working this afternoon. It's a dog!
ChartBlog: It's not a dog.
Andy: It's squidgy. Ooh! It's got a cape! It's a cape! Is it a super-hero?

ChartBlog: He likes to think so.
Andy: Is it a ninja turtle thing?
Rob: He's never gonna get it!
Andy: Oh no if Rob says that...is it a ninja rat?

ChartBlog: No. Close...ish. It's obviously a ninja monkey.
Andy: Is that something everyone knows about in the real world? [Muses] This real world, where does it start?

ChartBlog: If you'd have just said monkey in a cape then I'd have given it to you.
Andy: Damn. Ooh, have you got some kind of chocolate there?
Rob: Your senses are going wild!

ChartBlog: No, no chocolate.
Andy: Somewhere in this room there is chocolate.

ITEM 2: The type of biscuit known as a coconut ring.

ChartBlog: Right, hands out...
Andy: [Has a feel] Biscuit

ChartBlog: Yes. But exact type?
Andy: Ooh, they're lovely these biscuits

ChartBlog: Well that one's been in my bag all afternoon, I wouldn't advise eating it.

Andy: It's got a hole in the middle which is really freaking me out. [Shrieks] It's coming off! The blindfold's coming off at the back!
ChartBlog: It's OK, It's staying up at the front
Andy: But it might come off!

[Chartblog re-adjusts Andy's blindfold, patiently.]

Andy: Oh my God! We need to calm down, calm calm. It's all fine now. [Sniffs biscuit]...It smells like...you know...

ChartBlog: Sorry, you've run out of time. It's a coconut ring.
Andy: Ooh! Can I try it?

ChartBlog: Eurgh no, health and safety. It's been flying around loose my bag for hours and it's out of date.
Andy: What happens in your bag? Tell me what happens in your bag, I can't think there will be any problems.

[Andy shoves most of the (probably dirty and disease ridden, not to mention
stale) biscuit in his mouth.

ChartBlog: Oh no.
Andy: Yum, do you want some?

ChartBlog: Oh yuck! Next item.
Andy: Are you taking photos? [Diva voice] Cos my hair isn't done and obviously that's important right now.

[Phone rings and Rob answers for Andy.]

Andy: Who is it? Tell them what I'm doing, tell them about my day at work!
Rob: [On phone] Andy's taking his job seriously today, he's blindfolded and eating coconut rings.
Andy: Yep! Can't talk right now! Very busy, tell them I'll call in a bit.

ITEM 3: Amy's used tea-bag.

Andy: Oooh what is that? Is it a tea-bag? Wet?

ChartBlog: Well done!
Andy: It's genuinely a tea-bag wet? Full marks! Is it PG Tips?

ChartBlog: It is!
Andy: Tea-man, just call me Mr Tea-man. Is my tea getting cold?

ChartBlog: Yeah, do you want some?
Andy: Ooh I can smell the earl gr- [ears cocked] Someone just opened the door! Who is it?
Rob: Andy that's quite impressive.
Andy: Who's that?

[Carl Razorlight comes in and feels Andys head.]

Andy: Who is it? Oh that's Kumar.

ChartBlog: No.
Andy: Oh, it's Carl!
Carl: I was trying to make it like Kumar.
Andy: Now stop disturbing me. I'm feeling my next one.

ITEM 4: Razorlight live on DVD.

ChartBlog: It's a kinda cross promotional thing going on here.
Andy: Is that our DVD? The This is a Razorlight DVD with Carl on the front.
ChartBlog: It is.
Carl: Looking good.
ChartBlog: You're doing well.

ITEM 5: A fan. A fluffy fan.

Andy: This is a fan! A fluffy fan, nice!
ChartBlog: I should have made these harder. Do you want to keep it?
Andy: Yes please, thanks! I'll use it tonight.
ChartBlog: Here's the next object.

ITEM 5: A package of gooey Marmite in clingfilm.

Andy: [Slightly appalled] This is Marmite. Marmite wrapped in cling film. You tried to fool me.

ITEM 6: Thomas The Tank Engine.

ChartBlog: Well, this is the final one now, you have to at least pretend not to know please.
Andy: It's Thomas!

ChartBlog: Crap.
Andy: It's Thomas, or Percy, or Gordon. you were talking to me about Thomas before, you said that's what you wanted to do and I said that's what I wanted to do and I got it right. Can I have this? Please?

ChartBlog: Ohhh no! Definitely not, and we're going to have to end it there once you've given me Thomas back.
Andy: Oh.

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Your ChartBlog reporter was Amy V

Andy answers your questions...
Razorlight - The SongSpoilers...