麻豆约拍

Jeremy Lloyd, the writer of 麻豆约拍 Television's Are You Being Served? and co-writer of 'Allo 'Allo died last December at the age of 84. , family, friends and colleagues attended a memorial service in central London to celebrate his life. Jon Jacob sat quietly at the back and reflected on proceedings. 

When I leave the 麻豆约拍 (I haven’t got any firm plans sorted as yet) there are two non-negotiable leaving presents I’d like to receive. The first is the complete series of the drama of Bluebell featuring the marvellous Carolyn Pickles in the lead role of the wartime dance captain of the same name. The second, are both . 

– poems for children written by Jeremy Lloyd and set to music by Jim Parker – were broadcast on 麻豆约拍 Two in April and December 1980 and re-broadcast on 麻豆约拍 One the following summer. I remember watching them and recall being transfixed by the sight of Penelope Keith, Petula Clarke, actor  and, then Swap Shop presenter, Noel Edmonds among others, all telling the stories of Harold the Frog, , and his intrepid cohorts.

Jeremy Lloyd and composer and arranger Jim Parker’s creations must have had a visible impact on me. Christmas 1981 saw two , complete with a complete compendium of the words accompanied by actor Keith Michell’s illustrations.

The TV specials had an impact on my music teachers too. Our school 'Junior Choir' sang a selection of the music we had practised during the year at the school open day in 1981. An eclectic mix featuring Benjamin Britten’s funeral march Old Abram Brown, a bizarre irritating little Czech number called Stodola Pumpa and to finish, Harold the Frog and . It was these last two numbers – no surprises, really – that whipped the crowd of assembled parents into a bit of a frenzy. Harold the Frog was duly reprised.

“Why are you dressed so , Jon?” ask colleagues (most of them between five and ten years younger than me) when I step into the office yesterday morning. My replies varied from “I’ve got a job interview,” to, “I’ve got a court appearance,” to, “I’m attending Jeremy Lloyd’s memorial service this morning.” Most of the reactions express either surprise or sympathy. I explain that I didn’t actually know Jeremy personally. “Oh,” they say, “Who was he?”  “He wrote Captain Beaky. You know.  Timid Toad, Reckless Rat, Artful Owl and Batty Bat.” Blank faces all around.

As it turned out, Jeremy Lloyd was responsible for far more than that. I discover this as I take my seat at the back of the congregation and peer at the order of service. I glance down the long list of TV credits including Six Five Special, the Billy Cotton Band Show, ‘Allo ‘Allo and of course Are You Being Served?  I hadn’t appreciated that the tall good-looking doctor in  was Lloyd, nor that he was in Murder on the Orient Express either.  Nor had I realised that Captain Beaky extended beyond just the TV specials, in the Woodland Gospels too. The catchphrases listed in the order in the service bring us into the moment and, even in print, raise a smile: “You’ve all done very well,” said by Young Mr Grace in Are You Being Served? and “Good Moaning” from ‘Allo ‘Allo.

I look up from the order of service in my lap and notice the pew in front of me, which was empty when I sat down, is now populated with slightly greying but otherwise well-kept individuals clearly hugely excited to see one another again. There’s lots of hugging and air-kissing and wide-eyes and smiles. I’m not sure how long they’ve been apart, but they look like they’ve worked together at some point and probably know one another very well. One of them - considerably taller than the rest, with a beautifully thick but trim moustache - offers a big handed wave to another man at the end of the pew. I remember seeing him in Genesis of the Daleks. That’s Guy Siner, I’m sure of it. And that tall man was in ‘Allo ‘Allo, which means that the tall chap .. he’s . Then the penny drops. Oh, hang on, they were all in ‘Allo ‘Allo.

Like Beaky and Are You Being Served?, I grew up on ‘Allo ‘Allo. I was transported into the world Lloyd and David Croft created. My parents loved it too. This was TV which brought us together as a family. There was something universal in the gags and something accessible in the story too. Yes, the narrative arc seemed to get ever more ridiculous as each series went on, but as I recall ‘Allo ‘Allo was the first sitcom I watched that had an ongoing story spanning the 13 episode series.  

There's something a little strange about attending a memorial service for friends, family and colleagues to remember the life of a man you don’t know personally. The disconnection from proceedings can sometimes feel as though you’re intruding or rubbernecking. Yet, there was an infectious warmth about the event which made me feel included. And that is in no small part to Jeremy Lloyd’s writing.

As  gets underway, four child-size bumblebees “in black and yellow sweaters” (a reference to his poem The Bumblebee) process into the church behind The Right Reverence Crispian Hollis, Bishop of Emeritus of Portsmouth  and The Reverence Lindsay Meader, Associate Rector, St James’s Church, Piccadilly. All assemble at the front, flanked by life-size cutouts of Lloyd pictured in his trademark velvet jacket, looking off to the side at a picture of “The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies” (the focus of the tension in ‘Allo ‘Allo).

During the service we hear the poems about  the bookworm, the teachings of Owl from The Woodland Gospels and, from Michael Grade, Daddy Long-Legs. With the music stripped out, Lloyd’s elegant playfulness is laid bare revealing an exquisitely efficient storytellingtechnique. His expertly and seemingly effortlessly deployed rhyming couplets are a joy to re-discover. 

That’s the thing about Lloyds writing. Even the saddest of tales is conveyed with a sense of innocence about it. You can’t not smile listening to Lloyd’s words. No surprise Michael Grade says in his address:

“If you want to know who Jeremy actually was behind the party animal and the gregarious raconteur, I commend you to read Captain Beaky. His devoted wife Lizzy, says there is a lot of Jeremy in the stories and characters.”

The live performance of the tearjerker Fred and Marguerite sees me shedding a back-pew tear all to myself. If you’re not familiar with the story: bird meets female bird, goes on jaunt to Paris, falls asleep after sharing a meal of bread and wine, only to wake up and discover that the bird of his dreams was in fact nothing more than a dream).  Singer  croons while pianist Stuart Barr accompanies her at the piano.

Soon after I’ve wiped my eyes, one of the organisers steps up to me during the final hymn. “Seeing as you’re here, would you mind handing out the special booklets for the congregation as they leave the church?” “Of course,” I reply, “I’d be happy to.”

Armed with a big pile of booklets with a picture of a typically dapper Jeremy Lloyd on the front, I stand by the door and hand out copies of the booklet to members of the congregation as they walk out of the church. I field questions asking where collections can be handed in saying, "Just look for the Bumblebees. They've got the collection plates." Numerous famous faces from Lloyd creations file past, thanking me profusely for the booklet and my assistance. This is the wrong way round. I’ve done nothing here to warrant thanks. I want to thank them. They’re the ones who have entertained me.

And then, unexpectedly, Jessie-Lou steps up.

Cue, me gushing: "You sang my favourite Beaky song – it was fantastic. I was floods.”  

"It’s my favourite too! I’ve always loved it. But that’s really down to this man,” says Jessie-Lous pointing to the man stood beside her accompanying her out of the church. "This,” she says, "is Jim Parker."

"You sir," I say putting my pile of booklets to one side for a moment, "are someone I absolutely have to shake by the hand."

Jon Jacob is Editor, About the 麻豆约拍 Blog

• to Jeremy Lloyd on Radio 4's Desert Island Discs recorded in 1987.