What do you know?
Which sentence frightens you more?
- Something terrifying suddenly jumping out at you
- Knowing something terrifying is waiting at the end of a long, dark corridor
Writers can create tension in both of these ways using something as simple as varying their sentence lengths.
Introduction to varying your sentences to create tension
Fiction writers can grab and hold their reader’s attention by creating tension. This can be done by selecting their words carefully and by how these words are used in sentences.
Key learning points
- How writers use sentence and paragraph length to create tension
- How varying the types of sentences can add impact
Long and short sentences
Short sentences
In fiction writing, short sentences can express emotion and paceThe speed at which the text moves.. They can show characters are angry, excited or surprised. The sound and toneThe writer or narrator’s voice that expresses a feeling or attitude. can also be more direct. ‘Help!’ is more urgent than ‘Please could you possibly help me?’
Short sentences can suggest action that is happening very quickly. Readers can race through the action as it happens:
Was it locked? Of course, it was locked. It had to be locked. Had they gone?
Short sentences are often used to signal a change or to create contrast between events, characters, settings or moods:
She wandered down the path watching the birds soar and swoop overhead. Crunch. She looked down to see what she had stepped on. Twigs? No. She gasped. It was bones. Tiny bones. Hundreds of them.
Long sentences
Long sentences can be used in fiction to provide more information, further detail, and explanation. Often this means that long sentences slow down the pace, and this can be a way to create a slow build-up of tension:
I press myself deeper and deeper into the hedge, until twigs dig into my back and thorns tear at my bare legs, hoping and praying that the leaves will shield me as I wait for them to pass.
Long and short sentences are often combined in a paragraph to build tension. For example, in Season of Secrets by Sally Nichols, the narrator spots a man running:
He looks back. His face is white in the darkness and wet with rain. He isn’t wearing shoes, or a shirt. I can see his chest, rising and falling. I can feel how frightened he is. Who is he? Who’s chasing him?
The short sentences stand out from the longer sentences. They add pace to the action and lead to the final urgent questions (‘Who is he? Who’s chasing him?’). The longer sentences add key details.
Simple, compound and complex sentences
Good writing uses a variety of sentence types to build tension. Simple, compound and complex sentences are the building blocks of paragraphs.
Simple sentences
Simple sentences contain an independent clauseAn independent clause is a group of words that work by themselves as a sentence.: one idea with a subject and a verb. For example:
Bony fingers stretched towards her.
Immediately, the simple sentence creates a sinister atmosphere.
Compound sentences
Compound sentences contain at least two independent clauses joined together by a conjunctionsWords that join clauses. They include words such as but, and, because, although, yet, since, unless, or, nor, while, where. or semi colon (;). For example:
Bony fingers stretched towards her and she could hear the hissing whispers in her mind.
More horrifying detail is added.
The conjunction ‘and’ can be removed and replaced with a semi colon (;).
Bony fingers stretched towards her; she could hear the hissing whispers in her mind.
Here the detail is added even more quickly.
Complex sentences
Complex sentences contain at least one independent clause with a dependent clause: additional information that is incomplete by itself.
Hearing the hissing whispers, filled with evil, in her mind, she saw bony fingers, dripping with poison, stretched towards her.
Again, a more frightening description has been added.
Broken or incomplete sentences
Sometimes writers use broken or incomplete sentences to create tension.
For example, the straightforward sentence ‘It was him.’ becomes much more dramatic when it is broken up into three separate one-word sentences: ‘It. Was. Him.’
This makes the reader emphasise each word so even though these are short sentences they build tension by slowing the pace down.
Find out more about complex sentences.
Starting sentences with verbs and adverbs
To make writing more interesting and exciting, writers often vary how they start sentences.
A standard sentence usually starts with a subject and a verb:
Lucy (the subject) crept forwards (the verb).
A writer could vary this sentence to start with a verb:
Shivering, Lucy crept forwards.
Or an adverb:
Silently, Lucy crept forwards.
Both examples add more information and direct the reader to pay attention to how Lucy crept forwards.
Look at the examples below that build suspense and tension. They all begin with either a verb, adverbA word that modifies verbs, adjectives or other adverbs. or adverbial phraseA group of words that functions as an adverb. For instance, please call me as soon as you can, instead of, please call me quickly. :
Using an auxiliary verbHelping verbs such as: to be, to have, to do. For example, Did it go well? to tell the reader that something bad is going to happen.
Had they known what would happen next, Henry and Connor would never have gone into the cave.
Using an infinitiveA verb that is unconjugated (without a tense). For instance, to walk as opposed to walked or was walking. to make a statement to suggest something will happen.
To choose to do nothing was not an option.
Using an imperativeA command or instruction. For example: sit down. to instruct the reader to picture the sinister setting.
Imagine a place where it is always silent.
Using a verb to create a frightened question.
‘Can you help me?’ he whispered.
Using an adverbial phrase to add a time associated with fear.
In the middle of the night, I heard tiny claws scrabbling behind the wall.
Using an adverb to add urgency.
Swiftly, I raced to the exit.
The rhythm in sentences
How writers vary the order of words in sentences, their punctuation and their length determines the rhythmRhythm can be described as the beat and pace of a piece of writing. of the text. Rhythm is important because it can help to stress certain words, build or slow the pace of the action or help to create a mood.
Reading your writing aloud helps you to identify if the rhythm of the text is used effectively.
For example:
Stop. Them. Now.
Here the rhythm is created by the punctuation and short monosyllabicA word of one syllable. For example: good. words. It helps to add weight and determination to each individual word.
With ‘stop them now’ echoing angrily behind them, they glided effortlessly over the gleaming rock pools towards the endlessly golden horizon.
Here the longer sentence uses longer multisyllabicA word with more than one syllable. For example: ‘gol-den’ has two syllables whereas ‘end-less-ly’ has three syllables. words to create a sense of graceful movement and flow, echoing how they glide away.
Match the rhythm to the effect:
A. The full stops create a rhythm that emphasises the feeling of fear.
B. The repeated phrase builds up rhythmically to the final, key word.
C. The repeated rhythm focuses the reader on the sound and movement.
- Darkness. Silence. Terror.
- Slipping, sliding, splashing, they slowly entered the silent cave.
- It was a song of hope, a song of courage and, above all, a song of victory.
Answers:
- A
- C
- B
Using one sentence paragraphs
Like sentence structures and types, if all paragraphs are the same length then the rhythm and pace is likely to be dull. As a writer you can also choose to use to use paragraphs purely for dramatic effect.
Using one sentence paragraphs can have a dramatic impact on the rhythm, tone and pace of the text, especially if it is surrounded by medium-sized paragraphs. It stands out visually and makes the reader pause and focus.
A one-line paragraph can make a bold statement, ask a question, answer a question or provide a contrast to the previous paragraph.
In this example, from Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy, a paragraph of action ends dramatically with a one sentence paragraph.
He scrambled for the doorway, ducking and dodging lest he get shot again, the flames obstructing his vision so much that he hit a wall on his way out.
And then he was gone.
However, one sentence paragraphs should not be used too frequently as they would lose their impact.
Read these sentences. Where could you create a one sentence paragraph for effect?
Alone, again. How many more nights could he spend in this place by himself? Wondering and worrying when the door might open, when he might see a familiar face, when he might hear something more than silence.
Alone, again.
How many more nights could he spend in this place by himself? Wondering and worrying when the door might open, when he might see a familiar face, when he might hear something more than silence.
One-word sentences
In writing, giving a word its own sentence shows how important it is. The writer wants the reader to pay attention. Notice the difference between these two examples:
All I wanted was some peace.
Peace. That was all I wanted.
The second example puts the spotlight on the word ‘Peace.’ It makes the reader think about this first rather than the person. It also makes the person sound completely desperate for peace.
One word paragraphs
A one-word sentence that is also a one-word paragraph is also very dramatic. For example:
Silence.
She hears shouting now. They call and call her name. She tries to speak, to move. Time passes. She knows she cannot last much longer. Is this the way it ends?
Silence.
In this example, not only is there a one-word sentence used in a one word paragraph but it is also repeated for dramatic effect.
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