Alys Mathers is a Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist and works with children who have a wide range of speech, language and communication needs.
Here she explains about finding support for your child and how to trust your instincts as a parent…
“My child’s just said ‘mama’”, “Well, my child asks to go to the toilet properly AND remembers to say please… ”
Whether they feel pride or simply like to share, all parents love to talk about the skills their child is learning. But what if your child isn’t learning to talk in the same way, or at the same speed, as other children?
First off and most importantly, don’t panic. It’s natural to compare, but every child really is unique.
Some who are slightly later learning to talk catch up without any extra help, and how you play and talk together at home can make a big difference.
You know your child best, and spending time playing with them will help you learn exactly how they communicate and decide if you need more help. Trust your gut, and ask yourself:
- Are my child’s skills developing in some way, even if it’s not at the speed of other children?
- Is my child communicating with me in ways other than using words?
- Does my child understand what I say, even when there are no other clues such as pointing or gestures?
- When I play the Tiny Happy People activities, has my child been joining in more and more as they develop?
If you answer ‘yes’ to the questions above, this is a good sign, however you may still like to try some of the suggestions below.
If you’re unsure, and your child’s difficulties communicating are getting in the way of everyday life, it might be a good time to seek help.
Build your support network
Family and friends who don’t see your child every day can be really helpful in spotting things your child has been learning to do, that you haven’t because you’re so ‘tuned in’ to them. This could be saying a word a bit clearer than they used to, or copying your gestures.
If you’re worried about your child, you’ll be feeling a whole range of emotions – love, sadness, anger, guilt…
Don’t go through it alone, talk to people you trust and share how you’re feeling.
Some parents find it helpful to talk to charities or support groups, many of which now have online groups and forums. You can find other parents with similar experiences to your own, to share the highs and lows. For example , a charity to support those with speech, language and communication needs, has local support and Facebook groups.
If your child has specific communication or learning needs, there are also plenty of supportive groups and organisations, including the and (your child doesn’t need to have a diagnosis yet to get this support).
Find support in your community
Opportunities to spend time with other children are great for helping children learn to talk.
The motivation to chat with other children, and the opportunities to learn from each other, can really boost children’s communication skills.
Make the most of your , who often run groups for parents and children, and may also have parent support groups. If your child is in nursery or pre-school, talk to the staff about your concerns.
They will have worked with lots of different children over the years and may be able to suggest things to help, or say if it’s time to talk to your GP or a speech and language therapist. You can also share with them what helps your child at home.
Get expert help
The best expert in your child’s communication is you!
After spending lots of time talking and playing with your child, and talking to family, friends and early years staff who know them, you’ll have lots of information to share about how your child communicates.
If you want to check how this fits in with other children’s communication development, I CAN, a children’s communication charity, has a . If you need to talk the answers through with someone, both I CAN and Afasic have telephone helplines.
There are a number of health professionals who can give you either initial advice, help you identify if there is a reason for your child’s communication needs (which isn’t always possible) or explain what can help.
- If you still have visits from a speak to them about your concerns.
- Your GP will be able to guide you as to whether your child needs a fuller check-up of their development from other healthcare professionals. These might include…
- Audiologist: They can identify . An ear test is often the best place to start if you have concerns about your child’s communication development, even if you think their hearing is OK.
- Paediatrician: They are specialist children’s doctors who can look at a whole range of your child’s movement, learning and communication skills to give a wider picture of their strengths and difficulties.
- Speech and language therapist: They can help your child develop early non-verbal communication skills like turn taking and support them right through to forming words, sentences and conversations.
How to prepare for an appointment
Remember, professionals like speech and language therapists may be experts in child development, but you know your child inside out. It’s easy to forget things when you’re at an appointment, so before you go:
- Write down any questions you want answered.
- Find your child’s health record (red book) so you can take it with you.
During the appointment:
- Make sure you understand what they’re telling you.
- Focus on what your child needs to be able to do, and what they can do, as well as what they can’t.
- Ask how you can help your child at home.
Remember: your knowledge of your child, and love for them, is all the professional needs from you to be able to help.
You don’t have to do everything in this article at once. If you’re worried about your child’s talking, starting somewhere – playing a few games, looking at a website or posting in a forum – could be the first step to unlocking your child’s chatting!
