Transgender dad Alex gave birth to son Gray at 18 years of age. He transitioned to male earlier in his teens and was surprised to become pregnant. This meant that he carried his son as a dad. Now a single parent, Alex shares his story and talks about his close bond with Gray.
I'm Alex, I'm twenty-one. I'm a trans, gay dad, who gave birth at eighteen to my son Gray. I was born female, I transitioned to male around the age fourteen-fifteen. I changed my name, I cut my hair, I was wearing male-identified clothes ,and I felt a lot better about myself.
I found out I was pregnant a couple of months after my eighteenth birthday. There was no plans to start a family, it was a complete shock. It was a mix of feelings - of feeling terrified and also excited at the same time - but as soon as Gray was born, I knew that that was the path that I was meant to take and he's an amazing kid.
When I was admitted into hospital, all the doctors and all the nurses were lovely. They said "he", they called me "Dad". They were all very much onside with the pronouns that I was preferring to use and it wasn't that we were forced into the roles of mum and dad.
I started my medical transition at the age of nineteen and Gray was six months of age. When I had my first vial of testosterone, Gray came with me to the appointment and he's then followed me to every appointment since.
When I became a single parent, Gray was around the age of six to nine months. It was like starting over for scratch, re-learning how to be a parent, but doing it with both roles being on you.
Me and Gray are a team. We know each other inside and out now. I think being a single parent has definitely given us the chance to become closer than we would've been. I want to teach Gray how to be happy in his own skin, how to be an individual without the fear of judgement from other people. Being a parent has definitely made me grow and develop. I see parts of me in him, he's such an individual and he's such a character, and he's been that drive behind me to want to do better and want to excel at what I do.
Transitioning
I was born female, I transitioned to male around the age 14/15. I changed my name, I cut my hair and I was wearing male-identified clothes. I felt a lot better about myself.
Pregnancy
I found out I was pregnant a couple of months after my 18th birthday. There were no plans to start a family, so it was a complete shock. It experienced a mix of feelings, terrified and excited at the same time. But as soon as Gray was born, I knew that that was the path that I was meant to take.
Giving birth
When I was admitted into hospital, all the doctors and nurses were lovely. They said ‘he’, they called me ‘Dad’. They were all very much onside with the pronouns that I was preferring to use and my partner and I weren’t forced into the roles of ‘mum’ and ‘dad’.
Becoming a single parent
When I became a single parent, Gray was around the age of 6-9 months. It was like starting over from scratch and re-learning how to be a parent, but with the role of two people.
My bond with Gray
I started my medical transition at the age of 19, when Gray was 6 months of age. Gray came with me to the first appointment to receive testosterone and he's been with me for every appointment since.
Gray and I are a team. We know each other inside and out. I think being a single parent has given us the chance to become closer than we might have been.
I want to teach Gray how to be happy in his own skin, how to be an individual without the fear of judgement from other people. Being a parent has definitely made me grow and develop. I see parts of me in him. He's such an individual and he's such a character, and he's driven me to want to do better and excel at everything I do.
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