Having autism as a parent might seem impossibly challenging, but Stephanie Davis is proof that it's definitely doable.
Steph was diagnosed with high-functioning autism in 2019 and in the interview below, she opens up to us about how it affects the way she parents.
I sometimes feel like an alien but that's really common with autism. Being a first time parent, it's a shock to the system.
I think with my autism, it was a big adjustment to was a relief when I was recently diagnosed with high functioning autism. I now know why I do certain things the way I do it. I struggle with processing things a lot.I also struggle with social settings, it gives me a lot of anxiety. I don't like it when my routine changes. I didn't ever used to understand why I'd get so upset when the routine would change. It would feel like I was a toddler having a tantrum.
Being a first time mum, with autism and having a newborn baby was a challenge, to say the least. All my routine went out of the window and I found that hard. It was a big adjustment to make. It's taken a long time. Even now, I'm still adjusting day by day. He's changing as he gets older and that's just something we work on together.
Caben doesn't know about my diagnosis as such, because he's only three. Honesty is a massive thing for me and just being honest with him about everything, and I think that's what makes him a special little boy as well. Definitely will be having that conversation in the future. I'm sure he'll understand.
Obviously autism is a very wide spectrum. Boys are completely different to girls. Sometimes it's often hard to diagnose and sometimes we get misdiagnoses as well. Having the diagnosis has kind of changed everything for me because I used to really be tough on myself like why can't I just understand? Or why can't I process this? Now it's kind of like,"oh, don't give yourself such a hard time this is why, this explains."
I've learnt coping mechanisms and things I can do to try and help myself now.I allow myself to feel them feelings and know that it's okay. I think it's really important to reach out to people who are like-minded like you, with autism.because that was a great help for me. I feel like I'm really lucky to have a friend who also has autism, because she understands me on a level that no one else does, and I understand her and we've been a great support to each other. I love me and I love all my diagnoses that come with it because that makes up who I am. It's nice to be comfortable with who I am now.
"I sometimes feel like an alien but that's really common with autism," Stephanie says.
In our chat with her, she admits to it being a relief when she was diagnosed with high functioning autism in 2019. "I now know why I do certain things the way I do it."
Stephanie shares that with her autism, she struggles with processing things and in busy social settings. She doesn't like when her routine changes.
I didn't ever used to understand why I'd get so upset when the routine would change. It would feel like I was a toddler having a tantrum.
Being a first time mum, with autism and having a newborn baby was a challenge for Stephanie. Her routine went out of the window and she admits to finding that really difficult.
"It was a big adjustment to make. It's taken a long time. Even now, I'm still adjusting day by day. He's changing as he gets older and that's just something we work on together."
Even though her 3-year-old son Caben doesn't know or understand about her diagnosis yet, she says that she wants to be honest with him and will be having the conversation in the future.
"I've learnt coping mechanisms and things I can do to try and help myself now. I allow myself to feel these feelings and know that it's okay."
Stephanie encourages any other parents going through a similar situation to reach out to other people with autism, as this is what helped her:
"I feel like I'm really lucky to have a friend who also has autism, because she understands me on a level that no one else does, and I understand her and we've been a great support to each other."
I love me and I love all my diagnoses that come with it because that makes up who I am. It's nice to be comfortable with who I am now.
