Jo thinks she's due a Friday night out with the girls, but has forgotten to check the babysitting rota.
Helen and Wendy are out on a double date, so what is there to get up to without the other mums?
Jo
Moving in with two single mums was a total result, Ben. They're watching Amber when I go clubbing later. They don't know it yet, but it'll be totally fine. Yeah, it's massive. Literally everyone's going. Miss you? Must be joking me. You're the one that left to go to Ibiza to find themselves. Six months ago. Life's amazing here. These two mums are the coolest women I've ever met…
Helen
Jo, have you seen the nutcrackers? Wendy has got her boob stuck in the breast pump again.
Jo
Amber's asleep, guys. So I'm just gonna nip out for ten…or an hour.
Helen
Thanks again for babysitting tonight, Joanna. I didn't even know you bothered to check the rota.
Jo
We have a rota?
Wendy
Me and Helen are going on our double Trendr date tonight. Jo, did you forget?
Jo
Course I didn't. How could I forget? You're not gonna be back late though, right? You ladies are less like Kylie Jenner and more like Lorraine Kelly.
Helen
I don't know, Joanna. These guys seem pretty wild. They own a bike shop together so it depends if we go for a ride. They'll need help inflating their equipment! Might need a good bloody pump. Eh, Wendy?!
Wendy
Actually, Helen, they said they were just getting a taxi and meeting us there.
Jo, I've prepared a list of instructions for looking after Christopher.
Jo
'Before bedtime, please sing Christopher a song in French.' Wendy, I struggle singing in English.
Wendy
Songs and stories at bedtime really help build the child's vocabulary.
Helen
Don't worry, Joanna. Tyler will help you. Won't you, Tyler? Tyler, darling, we're going now. Auntie Jo's going to look after you. Isn't that exciting?
Tyler
Sayonara, sucker!
Helen
I love you too, sweetheart. Right, let's blow this dive.
Wendy
Christopher's upstairs asleep. If he wakes up just sing him a song and you'll be fine.
Helen
Don't forget, if you get lonely, you've got our new Alexandra to keep you company. OK, Alexandra. Play 'All by Myself'!
Jo
No, stop, Alexandra! So I'll see you around nine? Ten at the latest probably… Ladies?
Frere Jaques, Frere Jaques, Dormez vous…Dormez vous… Soggy lemon Tina, soggy lemon Tina. Ding dang dong. Ding dang dong.
So the babies are asleep.How's about showing me how you play that video game?
Tyler
Sure.
Jo
Oh, great…
Tyler
Facechat me in five, bruv. Nah, I'm not doing anything. Just hanging out in Dullsville, UK.
Jo
OK, Alexandra. Play… Beyonce. OK, Alexandra! Play Beyonce!
Wendy
What the f—?
Christopher
Foam Party!
Helen
Wendy, it's time. Let's get the suitcase. From 2005 to 2007 I was club rep in Tenerife. I brought all the best gear home.They called me Head Bopper Helen 'cos I was the best dancer on the island.
Wendy
ܰ…
Jo
Let's see if you've still got the moves then. Ready… strike a pose! They'll love that one in Ibiza. No need to fake it now, huh? I just wanted it to look like I was out on a Friday evening like everyone else. Instead of being stuck in this house with a broken Alexandra for company.
Wendy
Broken? Jo
Watch. OK, Alexandra. Play… Nicki Minaj. OK, Alexandra. Play Nicki Minaj! See? Broken!
Wendy
Alexandra is over there, Jo. That is an air freshener!
