Becoming a dad is an amazing thing.
But it’s also a huge change, unlike any you will have gone through before. So you’re bound to be a bit anxious.
We spoke to Men’s Health Worker, Owen Hargreaves from Blackpool Better Start, to get his advice to help first-time dads deal with any worries and start building a great bond.
Try to get involved from the very beginning - before birth
When you’re about to become a dad, your mind is blown with a lot of new information about births, feeding, sleeping and everything else that comes with it.
But the best way to put your mind at ease is to prepare as much as possible.
And a good way to get yourself ready is to be there with mum from the very first chats she has with a midwife or health visitor.
You might be busy, and sure, these visits are usually very mum-focused, but it gives you a chance to find out what to expect and ask whatever questions you may have.
If you can’t get time off work, try and see if there’s any way you can join in - you could be on the end of the phone, or even better, make a video-call.
And talking to your baby needn't start at birth - babies start picking up sounds in the womb from around sixteen weeks into pregnancy, and in fact, they find it easier to hear men's lower voices, so why not try talking to bump? The earlier your baby starts hearing the sound of your voice the better, as this can only help you when it comes to building a strong bond.
Find as many ways to speak to baby as you can
It’s important to start talking to babies as early as you can.
This gets babies used to hearing your voice and responding, even before they can form words.
And think about it, before baby can complain, it’s the ideal time to practice your dad jokes!
It’s great to be daft with your baby. If you’re smiling and happy, chances are you’ll get a smile out of them, even if the jokes themselves don’t get them chuckling (yet…).
It’s always good to try and speak to babies face-to-face and to look for signs that they’re trying to communicate.
Encourage them to babble (that’s when they make noises, like they’re doing baby speak) by leaving them time to respond after you speak to them. Think of it like tennis, waiting for a return every time you talk.
Become number one storyteller
Storytelling is a role that dads can really revel in.
Try having a bit of ‘story time’ each day when you’re with your baby. It’ll help bonding and help your child learn language. And they’ll love it.
You can tell stories you know, or make up stories on the spot. Be as daft as you want, make up whatever characters you like.
Or, you could read stories out from a book. But you don’t need to read books word for word. In fact, it’s better if you can point out pictures, put on voices and make noises.
In Blackpool, dads are taking part in woodwork classes, creating figures based on the stories they tell to their children. That way they have toys that bring their stories to life. So, if you’re handy with making things, why not have a go at making some characters yourself? You don’t have to use wood, just make sure it’s a safe material and don’t let your baby try to eat the figures!
Get out and about
It’s important to try and get out of the house, to the park, the shops, or the library.
The outside world is great for giving you things to talk about with your baby, whether it’s the ducks in the park, the cars in the street, or the fruit and veg at the supermarket.
Try and stop to get face-to-face with your baby as you stroll. This will let you see what’s grabbing their attention more easily, and you can talk about that.
On your travels, keep an eye out for things that are happening in your community. There might be a group out there that’s calling for you and your skills.
For example, in Blackpool there is a community shed for dads to come along and create things for their kids.
So if you’ve spent years tinkering with bikes, cars, or computers, that practice making things could come in handy!
Make connections with other dads
Chances are, a lot of new dads and soon-to-be dads have similar hopes and fears to you.
By meeting other dads, you’ll be able to share your experiences and help each other out. Once you’re both having a laugh about the things that worry you, they’re bound to lose their edge.
A good way to meet other dads is to try and make it out to classes and groups with your partner.
You might feel a bit uncomfortable striking up conversations with the other guys in waiting rooms, but every man you see in these places is in a similar boat. They might need a ‘dad buddy’ to help them make sense of it all too.
If you are struggling and you’re not sure who to speak with, then there are places online that offer help too.
For example, run a helpline for men, and Chasing the Stigma run a site called , which lets you find support near you.
