Johan and Nicolay appeared to be model teenagers but the reality was that both boys were addicted to drink and drugs. At 17, Nicolay was aggressive, unkempt, a truant who changed courses to disguise fact he fell behind. When you live with addiction says Nicholay, "you know something's wrong but at the same time you don't think that's anything unusual."
By the end of Johan's first term at University, he'd blown his entire years grant on drink. Everything began to fall apart. "I'm very family-orientated yet I managed to lose practically all contact with my family for four years. I also lost my girlfriend, and my academic achievements plummeted."
As family life was gradually ruined by the boys' addictions, relationships between the three deteriorated and Barbara found it impossible to maintain normal family life. "They just couldn't see the connection between drugs and their behaviour. They knew that I knew they had serious problems but they could anaesthetise all their feelings - I couldn't."
Finally, Barbara could stand it no longer. The turning point for both boys came through confrontation. "Nicolay's College Principal was really helpful. We sat him down and gave him a choice: We would both throw Nicolay out and refuse to have him back unless he agreed to treatment. The choice was his."
Johan's Aunt wrote him a letter asking him if it wasn't time he went to AA. "It wasn't the fact that she knew, it was the way in which she tackled it. I was given an ultimatum: my family or drink. I worked because it happened at the right moment."
All three agree they are closer than ever as a result. Both Johan and Nicolay now help Barbara with training in addiction counselling and talk to young people about their experiences.
