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Christine Bress searches for love amongst the cookery books ...

"Gentleman with full freezer wishes to meet lady with cookery book for lunch." Thus read the advertisement in my local paper. I would seem tailor made to answer just such an invitation. The reason for this is that I collect cookery books and have, to date, one hundred and forty of them. Was this gentleman seriously interested in food, and was he indeed a gentleman?

After much hesitation I decided to reply, arranging to meet at a good local restaurant for lunch. I am a widow to whom any of the following descriptions could be applied - mature, having middle-aged spread, prematurely grey, according to the eye of the beholder. The man in question was probably looking for a lithe blonde.

If I made contact I wondered what would be my best line of approach? Thrift cookery was one, but I decided against this. I did not want to get involved with a skinflint. Suddenly my eyes focussed on a small red book with the title "Rose Cookery". Of course, romance was what was needed. Turning the pages my heart raced... I felt I need go no further

Suffice it to say - he never turned up, and I was left to pay for lunch. Returning home, I pulled out a well-thumbed book "Spit and Grill". Yes, that's what I'd like to do to him.