Martin Kelner wonders what to do when his son doesn't make it into the junior football team...
They say size doesn't matter. It does in junior football, though.
My son David, who is now 14, has somehow not grown at quite the rate of his contemporaries, despite our very best endeavours. We've tried everything, including some things that are anathema to teenage boys like wholemeal bread, vegetable, fresh air, switching off his PlayStation... But he remains small, if perfectly formed. Well, we think he's perfectly formed, but Andy, coach of Rothwell Juniors Under 15s was looking for someone built on more robust lines, for the match against Alverthorpe on Sunday, and David was relegated to the subs bench.
Not fair - it will probably not startle you to learn - was his view. Coach was, of course, utterly off his chump to sideline the most skilful player in the team for the sake of a bit of extra muscle to knock those big Alverthrope boys off their stride. But then again, I've always stressed to David the importance of respect for the coach, even when the guy - mentioning no names - has clearly taken leave of his senses.
So you see the problem on the one side, respect for authority. On the other, standing up for your rights.
I suggested to David that the right thing to do was accept your fate with equanimity, then fight like a tiger when the coach saw reason and plunged him into the fray.
It was a close match, and with Alverthorpe leading 2-1 and then 3-2, our two big forwards always looked like nicking an equaliser, so the coach was reluctant to make changes. David finally got on when the score went to 4-2 .... two minutes from the end. He never got a touch.
"Why didn't you say something to Andy?" was my wife's predictable complaint to me, as our tearful teenage son toyed with his re-heated roast on Sunday afternoon.
"There was an American football coach," I told my wife, "Who once said ... 'Winning isn't the most important thing, it's the only thing'."
"But they lost," she countered. A fairly clinching argument, and one I intend to introduce into the conversation when Andy's picking the line-up for the next game.
