For the past 3 years, my street has been immersed in a Mexican wave of building works. Our early morning call has become the piercing whirr of a drill, our dawn chorus is the combined sound of swearing, hammering and some pub-renderings of soul tunes.
My neighbour, Ali, is going to have to cancel Christmas this year: "They first arrived in July for a re-jigging of our bathroom. The extension began in August, was supposed to have been all wrapped up in November and as we race towards Christmas, there's no sign of a kitchen! Our relationship is very stormy and the more invasive it becomes, the more stormy it becomes. I hate myself when I'm talking to them and trying to sort out things and I think, God, who is this harridan that's suddenly appeared?"
To begin with we employed a 'not in front of the builders' policy - keeping our little tiffs to ourselves but as the weeks went by, the facade crumbled as quickly as next door's plaster work - within three weeks they'd witnessed things they wouldn't even show on Gerry Springer.
Anne is 6 months into a loft-conversion. "I didn't think dustsheets would make such good carpets, but I'm used to it now. I'm very constipated, you know, 5 months of having the builders in!" But it's not all bad news. "I've come to a monumental conclusion - I'd rather have builders in the house than raise a teenager."
Having builders in can even improve your marriage. Says Anne, "It's a 'them and us' situation - us against the builders - so it's probably made us more harmonious!"
