Kim Revill's just entered her second childhood - orthodontically speaking, at least.
Kim Revill
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I managed to eat a piece of toast this morning. I still left the crusts but it was a victory of sorts and, no, in case you're wondering, I don't have an eating disorder, or a digestive problem. At the age of 36 - I have braces.
And not for the first time. I was fitted with set number one, to correct
the unslightly overlapping of my front teeth, in 1977. I was 11, and all I
really remember of my dentist was his Barry Manilow hair and his smoker's
breath. He fitted removal braces which, when my parents weren't
there to scrutinise my jaw, I removed.
My mother thinks I have a tooth fetish. My father, on the other hand, has been all for the idea, though if things go to plan I realise I'll start to look a little less like him - our identical teeth provide a familial link more persuasive than DNA. My new smile will be fatherless. Sentimentality aside, most people reckon I'm just too old. My sister didn't mince her words. 'Is there anything more ridiculous than a 36 year old with a Tracey Austin mouth?
On the eve of insertion, I was apprehensive. Can you snog a bloke without
inflicting permanent injury? Would there even be any blokes to snog when they took one look my Meccano Mouth?
My straight-toothed American friends suggested I just needed to
're-language my experience'. In these days of the belly button ring and tongue studs, I wasn't getting braces fitted, I was acquiring 'mouth jewellery'.
Still, less than four weeks in and I've noticed a peculiar camaraderie among brace-wearers of a certain age and, when we spot another tin grin, we smile, wide, knowing smiles, revealing our appliances proudly like badges of honour or designer
labels.
And, I've even discovered that there are men out there who find girls with
'silver smiles' dead attractive. Rather gorgeous in fact. I've not met one
in person, but they're all over the internet, swapping pictures of lingual
arches. I'm starting to enjoy the second glances I get, the furtive looks, even if
they're borne of curiosity rather than attraction. Standing out in a crowd
at the age of 11 was the last thing I needed, but at 36 I realise it's
exactly what I want.
My dentist was at pains to reassure that I was, indeed, on schedule to have my braces removed in 18 months time.
Are you sure, I asked. After all, best not to rush these things ..
