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The Secret Life of Joe Grundy
18 Oct 2001
by Robert Ing
The heat from the engine was intense, but the noise was worse. Grundy's entire concentration was on controlling the machine; on the ground, the people looked up intently; they knew that everything had to be inch-perfect. The slightest error would be disastrous.
"The Old man'll pull her through", they said. "The old man ain't afraid of hell. If Grundy can't do it, it can't be done". Something mechanical began to go ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa. Grundy was not worried; he gently adjusted the controls and once again man and machine were perfect harmony. His objective was in sight; closer and closer, and then he was there, and the awful tension was over.
Grundy cut the engine; for a moment there was complete silence, and then the onlookers spontaneously burst into a round of applause. An old man rushed out of the crowd and seized Grundy's hand in congratulation.
"Oi as to and it to you, Joe Grundy", he said, tears in his eyes, "But Oi've never seen a straighter furrow in moi loife."
"Joe!"called Clarrie. In his chair in the kitchen, Joe started. "Have you seen my baking dish anywhere?"
The face of the judge was inscrutable. She took off her glasses and glanced round the huge crowd. Grundy, a light smile playing across his finely chiselled features, sat in the chair opposite her. On the table between them, the evidence told its own tale. The tension was unbearable.
The excited buzz of the crowd slowly died down; they could sense that the moment of truth was near; the judge was about to ask the crucial questions that would make everything plain.
"Mr Grundy", she said, "Have you seen exhibit JG/1?" "I have", replied Grundy. "And do you recognise it?" The tension was almost tangible. "I do." "And is it yours?" No-one could breathe in the brief pause before Grundy answered. "Yes", he said, simply. The whole audience seemed stunned by the reply. The judge recovered her composure.
"From the outset", she said, "It seemed to me that this affair could have but one outcome. Mr Grundy, all is now plain. This is, quite simply, the finest Victoria Sandwich I have ever seen. What is your secret?"
The whole audience broke into spontaneous applause. An old man rushed out of the crowd, seized Grundy by the hand, and exclaimed tearfully "Oi as to 'and it to you, Joe Grundy, even moi Freda admits you be the best cake-baker she'm ever seen"
In his chair, Joe started slightly as Clarrie tuned in to Radio Borsetshire....
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