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The Little List
by Anglo-Norman
 There's been an outbreak of Gilbert and Sullivanism on the Fantasy Archers topic of , including this little ditty from regular contributor Anglo-Norman.
Lord High Mustardlander (LHM):
As some day it may happen that a deading must be done,
I've got a little list; I've got a little list.
Of Ambridgian offenders whose demise would be quite fun
And who never would be missed; they never would be missed.
There's the churchwarden whose attitude is holier-than-thou
Her poor befuddled brother who's obsessed with breeds of cow.
The feckless café manager who thinks he's rather fine,
But is widely held by us to be an utter waste of time.
And the homophobic landlord and his gay arch nemesis -
I've got them on the list; they'll none of them be missed.
Chorus of Mustardlanders (ML):
He's got ’em on the list; he's got ’em on the list,
And they'll none of ’em be missed; they'll none of them be missed.
LHM:
There's the trilling village dramatist whose offerings repel,
And the reckless younger Grundy who against the law rebels.
His pleasant but dull brother with his pheasant-killing bent,
The faithless girl who to bed with her husband's brother went.
And that ghastly woman who I'm sure the Guernseymen don't miss.
I don't think she'd be missed; I'm sure she'd not be missed!
ML:
He's got her on the list; he's got her on the list.
And we're sure she'd not be missed; we're sure she'd not be missed.
LHM:
There's that irritating Yankee girl who makes you want to scream,
With her catchphrases of "cute" and "quaint" and "have you met the Queen?"
The suave, adulterous farmer and his wet hen of a wife,
And her patronising mother interfering in her life,
But it really doesn't matter who you put upon the list,
For they'll none of ’em be missed; they'll none of ’em be missed.
ML:
You may put ’em on the list; you may put ’em on the list,
And they'll none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed!
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