Jack and Mrs Peggy Woolley
Were both monarchists who fully
Supported the Queen's Jubilee
They thought the Village Hall would pass
At least for those of working class
Provided they could access tea.
But deemed it an obscenity
That there was no amenity
Open as yet for wheelchair use
Or 'parents' room (how timely
For Brian's latest family)
Hence the plan to revamp the loos.
All paid for by selling jumble
And a barn dance for the humble,
Fancy Dress for the 'PLU'*
Then - predictably - get Jason
To plumb in a new washbasin
In time for the opening 'do'.
A Royal who would never blush
To give the Gents the opening flush
And cut the special ribbon clear?
Queen Mum and Margaret both dead
"Peggy will have to do instead"
Was Aunty Chris' inspired idea.
St Stephen's bells rang out a peal
The WI prepared a meal
Of casserole and cakes and jam
Peggy's frock - red, white and blue
Had come from Underwoods quite new
The smartest store in Felpersham.
Darrington and Penny Hassett
None could boast so fine a toilet
As Ambridge on that special day.
But standing there who could have guessed
Scarce Peggy had the crowd addressed
That tide would sweep them all away.
